ks Page 1000 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yeah, Red Smith Totally Used To Eat Weird Crap
OK, so we were just watching the rerun of this morning's episode of ESPN2's "Cold Pizza" — we can only watch the same "SportsCenter" so many times before our soul starts to collapse into powder — and we saw Hometown Columnist Woody Paige eat a whole canister of dog food....
When Lenny Dykstra Speaks, People Listen
We've told you already how shocked we were to see that human wad of chaw Lenny Dykstra is writing financial opinion pieces for TheStreet.com, but we're still not quite over it. Dykstra's newest "column" has just been posted at TheStreet, and we find several statements extremely disturbing....
Michigan Courts Make Society Safe Again
We know it's amazing that sports have been able to continue in the 10 months since the Pistons-Pacers brawl at The Palace in Detroit, but somehow, someway, athletic endeavors have been able to stagger on. In another example of the brutal ramifications of the actions of everyone involved, the three...
NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a...
Welcome To Phoenix. We Hate The Home Team Here
Baseball blogs come in a few basic varieties. You have the committed fan (Bleeding Pinstripes), the starry-eyed kid (Look Who I Just Interviewed!) and those who have given up entirely and abandoned all perspective and self-respect (I Am Begging the Cardinals to Win the World Series). But rarely d...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. MLB With Joe Morgan: Hey, so, in your all your years of playing baseball, did you learn anything that you'd feel comfortable sharing with the casual fan? • 1 p.m. Page 2's Scoop Jackson: For some reason, every time we see you o...
Lenny Dykstra, Your Financial Consultant
OK, this was so ridiculous that we have spent the last hour checking it out, lest we be the target of some elaborate ruse. But it appears to be legit: Former human chaw Lenny Dykstra is writing a weekly investment column for TheStreet.com. No, really. Seriously. Lenny Dykstra — or, more likely, his ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your children file for emancipation ... • MLB: Yankees at Devil Rays. Yanks try to win a series, finally, over last-place Tampa Bay. • WNBA Finals: Sacramento Monarchs vs. Connecticut Sun. Admit it, you're pumped. • MLB: Brewers at Diamondbacks. Milwaukee (72-72, NL Central) 20 game...
Mark Cuban Would Rather You Not Count His Fans
Everybody's favorite punctuation-resistant NBA owner Mark Cuban has had a busy offseason, hollering at New York Times reporters, apologizing for cutting Michael Finley and remembering the exact moment he stopped being one of us and became dirty, grimy rich....
Blogdome: Saluting Supposed "Bad Guy" Roger Federer
• You might have been sad that Andre Agassi lost at the U.S. Open, but that Roger Federer guy is pretty cool too. [Tennis-X] • Uh, anybody in San Diego noticed that the Padres are still in first place? Anybody care? [Gas Lamp Ball] • Anybody else concerned that the Miami Heat might not turn out so g...
Today In MLB Blogs
We'd like to introduce a new feature, because features are fun and make the day just fly fly fly by. In case you missed it, former Sportingnews.com "new media" dropout Mark Newman has resurfaced at MLB.com to help Bud Selig sell something that you absolutely cannot find anywhere else (particularly...
The Surprising Sincerity of Stephon Marbury
We feel like you're expecting us to somehow poke fun at Knicks guard Stephon Marbury's emotional breakdown when discussing Hurricane Katrina, but we really can't. The guy was legitimately devastated, and he's also avoiding one of our pet peeves: Attaching charitable donations to some sort of athle...
Alberts Crosses Almighty ESPN, Pays Price
Hell hath no fury like a college football analyst scorned, apparently. ESPN college football analyst Trev Alberts was canned yesterday after refusing to come into work on Sunday, which, on Labor Day Weekend, is kind of a key day for college football analysts to work. Apparently Alberts was frustra...
Eventually, You Know They're Just Going To Shoot Him
As if New Yorkers hadn't been terrorized by Knicks general manager Isiah Thomas enough, he is now cutting in front of them in DMV lines....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Get Out Of Painting ... · NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks: Enjoy a good quarter of people's names you barely recognize. But hey, John Madden's there. · MLB: Atlanta Braves at Chicago Cubs: It's always annoying when two SuperStation teams play each other. · Littl...
Shapiro's Depature Makes S.A.S. Sweat
Since the ratings for "Quite Frankly With Stephen A. Smith" — currently lighting it up with a 0.1 rating — have been so bad, and now that head overlord Mark Shapiro is leaving, people are wondering if Smith's show is still safe without Shapiro's protective cover. We're still confused about how Smi...
Mark Cuban Burns Himself At The Stake
When Mark Cuban isn't mad about The New York Times, he's moonlighting as owner of the Dallas Mavericks. With everything else that Cuban babbles about, we forget that sometimes. He had to release longtime Maverick Michael Finley this week, and he's all broken up about it. But even more so, he's all...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Secretely Believing Your iPod Is Trying To Kill You · Arizona Diamondbacks at St. Louis Cardinals. Tomorrow night, we will be at Busch Stadium. Tonight, we'll be putting together shelves. Tomorrow wins. · New Orleans Saints at New England Patriots. When ESPN Classic repeats this ...
Shapiro Finally Sets ESPN And Viewers Free
It's official: ESPN overlord Mark Shapiro is leaving the network to run Redskins midget Daniel Snyder's bid to take over the Six Flags franchise. (His last day is October 1. Rest assured, you'll be hearing from him — and us — a ton.)...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Pretending Not To Watch "Cathouse" In Slow Motion ... · Giants' Randy Winn hits for cycle. Giants wake up in fourth inning, see that Bonds is still hurt, go back to sleep. · Michael Finley released by Dallas. "Mr. Finley, a 'Shack' is on the phone again. Yes, I'll take another ...