ks Page 589 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Phillies And Mets Stewed Some Very Mild Beef
If the 2017 baseball season is a slow-cooked pot roast, not enough time has passed for the beef to be tender and juicy. What I’m trying to say is, the Mets and Phillies almost brawled last night....
Cubs Celebrate First Championship In 108 Years In Characteristic Style
The Chicago Cubs raised the banner representing their first world championship since before World War I over Wrigley Field last night, before their game against the Los Angeles Dodgers. It rained, as God wept over the Red Sox-on-Lake Michigan coming into their full power....
The Giants Somehow Scored Three Runs On A Swinging Bunt
The struggling San Francisco Giants beat the suddenly competent Arizona Diamondbacks by three runs this afternoon. The D-Backs have no one to blame for the loss but themselves, as they handed those three runs to the Giants in the fourth inning when they capitulated en masse and forgot how to field a...
Karl-Anthony Towns Just Keeps Wrecking Shit, Even If You Aren't Watching
By now it feels like a past life. But not long ago, games between the Timberwolves and Knicks were among the small pleasures of the early NBA season: heated clashes between two flawed teams that still tried hard, and more importantly, sported the NBA’s two most intriguing sophomores, both seven-foot...
Mark Jackson's Church Tried To Heal Steph Curry's Ankle With Oil
Sports Illustrated ran an excerpt from Marcus Thompson’s new book on Steph Curry, and there’s a particularly interesting anecdote involving the Golden State Warriors guard, his former head coach Mark Jackson, and Jackson’s church....
The Gospel According To Bill Hicks
Originally published as “The Gospel According to Hicks” in the September, 1994 issue of GQ, this profile appears here with the author’s permission....
Cavaliers Blow 26-Point Fourth-Quarter Lead
The Atlanta Hawks downed the Cavs today in overtime after coming back from a 93-67 deficit early in the fourth quarter. It’s the biggest blown fourth-quarter lead in almost 15 years....
Marc Albrighton Free Kick Stunner Caps Wild Opening Ten Minutes Of Everton-Leicester City
Four goals have been scored in the first 24 minutes of today’s Everton-Leicester City match, but none more impressive than Marc Albrighton’s free kick that beat Joel Robles in the tenth minute. That’s after a streaking Kevin Mirallas set up Tom Davies in the opening minute to give Everton a short-li...
Tony Romo Will Wear Full Uniform, Spend Game On Bench For The Mavericks
With the news of Tony Romo’s retirement and move to the broadcast booth now official, the Mavericks have decided to honor him with something better than your usual rinky-dink pregame ceremony. They’ve instead opted to give him a “Maverick for a day” treatment that will reportedly include wearing a u...
UCLA Commit Jaylen Hands Jumps Over His Mom And Dad For Perfect Dunk
UCLA commit Jaylen Hands went with the high-risk-high-reward path for his entry in last night’s San Diego All-Star Dunk Contest—dunking over his mom and his dad. A misstep would likely have not gone over too well with his parents, but the point guard executed a flawless dunk that won him the contest...
How The Hell Did The Cavaliers Lose Last Night?
The Cavaliers’ play in the second half has brought plenty of reasonable questions and anxious hand-wringing over the state of the team. Their defense was trash! They briefly lost their spot atop the Eastern Conference! They were literally just screaming at one another! But with a decisive win over t...
Dwight Howard Going At Al Horford Three Times In A Row Last Night Was Fun As Hell
One of the fun little subplots of the season of the season has been animosity between the Celtics and Hawks. The Celtics have taken the Hawks’ spot of two years ago as prime challenger in the East to the Cavaliers, and feisty point guards Isaiah Thomas and Dennis Schröder have gotten into it about w...
Chelsea Training Features Sack-Tapping, Shit-Wrecking Hijinks
David Luiz and Diego Costa are, by all physical appearances, large adult men. Judging them by their behavior, though, you’d think they were mentally somewhere between the ages of 4 and 13. For evidence of this, here is Luiz whacking teammate John Terry in the nuts for fun:...
Aaron Gordon Jumps Out Of His Shoe For Beautiful Dunk
Earlier this week, the Magic found themselves in the awkward position of reassuring Aaron Gordon that the whiteboard-fueled rumors about trading him definitely weren’t true, no way. Tonight, Gordon tried to make a case for sticking around by literally jumping out of his shoe to turn this slick Elfri...
CNN War Propagandist Promotes Syrian Attacks: "This Is Not Like Kentucky Basketball"
Resident CNN war flack James “Spider” Marks excitedly promised an extended war against Syria, as the visibly engorged retired U.S. Army major general contrasted tonight’s use of more than 50 Tomahawk missiles against John Calipari’s Kentucky basketball program, stating that “this is not [...] one an...
Thabo Sefolosha Settles Lawsuit Against NYPD For $4 Million
On the eve of the 2015 NBA playoffs, Atlanta Hawks guard Thabo Sefolosha had his right femur broken by NYPD officers after they arrested him outside of a New York City nightclub. He missed the duration of the postseason, and the NYPD charged him with resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and obstruc...
James Dolan Called Me An Asshole, Knicks Fan Says; "He Is An Asshole," Dolan Says<em></em><em></em>
Mike Hamersky, a self-described New York Knicks superfan and season ticket holder from Astoria, claims that team owner James Dolan got in his face last night outside Madison Square Garden and screamed mean things....
Why The Seahawks Are Shopping Richard Sherman
John Schneider, in a fit of rare, on-the-record candor for an NFL general manager, confirmed this morning that all those Richard Sherman trade rumors are true....
Jeremy Hellickson Vows To Never Hit Another Triple
The designated hitter is a farce and an abomination, but it does keep your pitcher from getting all tuckered out after a jaunt around the basepaths. That’s what happened to Phillies starter Jeremy Hellickson on Monday, after a line drive to right field made him the first Phillies pitcher to hit a tr...