ks Page 732 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

White And Needy: What I Learned From Richard Ford's Sportwriter Trilogy
Be they neurotic, tragic, horny, or (preferably) all of the above, white guys entering midlife have plenty of novels to reference on their journey. But John Updike's Rabbit series, Philip Roth's Nathan Zuckerman books, and the like don't offer real-world models of behavior any more than Slim Shady p...

Jaguars Owner Shad Khan Is One Chill-Ass Dude
Here is Jacksonville Jaguars owner Shad Khan gracing the cover of Void, a North Florida culture and lifestyle publication, while looking like the chillest old dude to have ever chilled. ...

Coconut Water Not All That Good For You, Also Lousy And Gross
Many people like to drink coconut water. Some like to drink it because they believe it contains miraculous health-chemicals. Others like to drink it because they believe it tastes good. Both of these groups are incorrect....

Patrick Peterson And Richard Sherman Keep Their Beef Alive
Arizona Cardinals cornerback Patrick Peterson just signed a $70 million contract extension, meaning he's now making about the same amount of money as Seahawks corner Richard Sherman, with whom Peterson has had an ongoing Twitter feud. Naturally, Peterson celebrated his extension with a shot at Sherm...

"Louis Slungpue" Pranks News On UCLA Flood Cause: "A Really Large Dump"
"Ah, yes ma'am, it's 'Slung-poo.'" ...

Marshawn Lynch's Mom: "REPORTERS DON'T THINK, THEY GUESS"
Marshawn Lynch's mom, Sunshine, did not take kindly to Terry Blount's suggestion that the Seahawks could win without her son and responded with an all-caps rant that included "I GUESS THATS WHY HE HATES REPORTERS." ...

Bartender Unwittingly Serves "Flaming Lithuanian"
Keep an eye on the balding fellow, leftmost among the guys in white shirts at the start of the video. Look at that poor bastard. Dude's tired and depressed from a long day of middle-managing a Lithuanian bioinformatics firm or whatever, just minding his own business, trying to have a drink and a g...
![Extremely Intoxicated Metro North Passenger Munches On Floor Chips [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Extremely Intoxicated Metro North Passenger Munches On Floor Chips [Update]
This horrible incident occurred on one of New York's Metro North trains, which are often booze-fueled nightmares, full of shit-hammered White Plains residents trying to get home at 1:45 a.m. after drinking themselves stupid in the Meatpacking District....

What Would Your Ideal Sports Website Look Like?
Serious question. Approach from any angle you wish. If you could build a sports site from scratch, what would it look like? What would it cover? What sort of bells and whistles would you want? Tell us in the discussion below....

Why Your Classic Children's Television Program Sucks: <em>Saved By The Bell</em>
Time for another look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Previous installments in this series can be found here. ...

18 Overrated Beers
I take very seriously my role as the Lone Listicler, keeping my own counsel and avoiding the corrupting influences of scuttlebutt and daylight to provide the Beer Internet with its only fair and accurate source of rankings, slander, and bullshit. But I was nervous about this compilation of overrated...

Lady In "I Love Big Sacks" Shirt Gets Picture With Will Muschamp
The whole shirt actually reads "I Love Big Sacks And A Gator D" and Muschamp is just smiling like the nicest guy in the world while the woman is pretty straight-faced. There are a few explanations, which we've narrowed down to (a) he didn't read the shirt and is just naturally charming and amiable, ...

The Bucs' MRSA Outbreak Appears To Have Ended Carl Nicks's Career
The Buccaneers and Carl Nicks are "mutually" parting ways, and according to the press release, which quotes Nicks as saying he's going to "step away from the game," it sure sounds like the guard is done with football. A MRSA infection will do that to you....

Marshawn Lynch Calls NFL Network To Announce He's Holding Out
Beast Mode now includes telling your organization to shove it via the NFL Network. Earlier this evening, Marshawn Lynch called his former Seahawks teammate, and current NFL Network analyst, Michael Robinson and let him know that he was holding out of training camp and Robinson relayed the informatio...

Justin Blackmon Arrest Video Features Obnoxious Cop, Handcuffs
Jaguars wide receiver Justin Blackmon, already on an indefinite suspension from the NFL under its substances of abuse policy, was arrested yesterday in Edmond, Okla., pulled over with two marijuana-filled blunts in his car....

How To Get Paid To Drop Out Of Races: A Professional Pacer Tells All
David Rudisha covered two laps of Icahn Stadium under his own flowing power. And Mo Farah, he sliced through the eight laps of the indoor mile with his own knife-sharp legs. Galen Rupp crushed the 1500, Silas Kiplagat, Nick Willis, they all propelled themselves very quickly around an oval. But they ...

Respected Tennis Writer Cops To Plagiarism; There's Likely More To Find
Neil Harman has been The Times of London's chief tennis correspondent since 2002, during which time he has been awarded the Sports Journalist Association's "Sports News Reporter of the Year" award, as well as the ATP's Ron Bookman Award for Media Excellence. He is also, as he admitted in a letter ...

Jeff Francoeur's Teammates Prank Him, Again
Jeff Francoeur was called up the San Diego Padres today. Congrats, Frenchy! As he was making his way back to the bigs, though, his teammates revealed today that they had made him the victim of one more prank....

Crowd-Funded Brewery Campaigns Are Bullshit
Crowd-funding is a great hustle. Remember a couple weeks ago when some dude threatened not to make potato salad unless we bought him a solid-gold pony with diamonds for eyes, and we actually went for it? Of course, many professional bloviators saw this as the exact moment when society’s collecti...