ks Page 827 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Rivalry Saturday Open Thread
Rivalry Saturday! Michigan-Ohio State. Florida-Florida State. Some small parochial school in Indiana vs. the West Coast Billy Zabka Finishing School for 1980s Movie Jerks. You vs. leftovers. Lots to talk about. Have at it in the discussion below....

Cleveland Newspaper Headline Inadvertently Says Browns Have No Balls
There's already Sunday's planned giveaway of white flags, and now there's this headline in today's Plain Dealer. Steelers week really brings out the city's subtlety, doesn't it?...

Chiefs Receiver Delivers Thanksgiving Meal To Old Lady. Old Lady Reminds Him How Much The Chiefs Suck.
For the last 20 years or so, Chiefs players have spent part of their Thanksgiving holidays personally delivering meals to needy residents in the Kansas City area. It goes without saying that it's a noble gesture—the players get to give something to the community, members of the community get to spen...

Your Black Friday Open Thread
There are plenty of sports to watch today, which is a good thing, because you're probably still in the midst of a food coma and can't do much but lay on the couch today. So take it easy and watch some college football, basketball, and NBA action. Hang out here and chat about whatever you're watching...

How To Eat Your Leftovers: A Guide For Slobs
The morning following Thanksgiving is a bleary, cotton-mouthed, dead-eyed time—a time for questions, a time of Reckoning. "Oh, Jesus, how much did I drink yesterday?" and, "Am I going to die?" and, "Why do I keep doing this to myself?" and, "Am I in Fort Worth? How did I come to be in Fort Worth?" T...

The Jetsiest Jets Play Ever: Mark Sanchez Fumbles After Getting Floored By His Lineman's Ass
A Mark Sanchez fumble, caused by a teammate's ass in mid-pratfall, returned for a touchdown. God bless you, New York Jets. You're one of life's inherently funny things, like words with "k" sounds or Millard Fillmore or talking bears. ...

Here's A Young Basketball Fan Unabashedly Ogling A Cheerleader
I kind of feel bad for this kid. I mean, you can see the exact moment that he goes into total sensory overload. He's got courtside seats, and then there is free candy in his face, and then OH MY GOD BOOBIES. SUCH BIG BOOBIES. It's too much for one young man to handle....

Eating: A Strategic Guide
How does one eat a Thanksgiving meal? On its face this might seem like a ridiculous question, and also everywhere else too. I mean, who doesn't know how to eat? (Excepting the British, of course.) Thanksgiving is marked, more than anything else, by its abundance of tasty foodstuffs; practically spea...

Rasheed Wallace Yells "Ball Don't Lie" Because Sheed Likes To Yell Things
The absolute best conceit in basketball is there is some sort of cosmic justice. If a player makes an undeserved trip to the line on a ticky-tack foul, the telltale ball will betray the shooter. This worked to perfection last night, as Rasheed Wallace—the chattiest player in the game—felt he was d...

How To Improvise A Last-Minute Feast: A MacGyver's Guide To Thanksgiving
Oh, shit. Thanksgiving is here? Already?...

Somehow The Knicks Managed To Get Even Older
Popped on ESPN.com to check the boxscore of tonight's Knicks-Hornets game. Had to see how the local basketball team was doing. According to the boxscore, the Knicks have on their bench a 54-year-old guard/forward who last played in 1991. That's a veteran player, right there....

News Corp Buys Into The YES Network, As The RSN Bubble Grows Closer To Bursting
What was rumored last week has been officially announced: News Corporation will purchase 49 percent of the YES Network, and become the single biggest shareholder in the single most lucrative regional sports network in the country....

Paul Posluszny Has The Face Of A Football Player
Despite losing a 43-37 overtime thriller to the Texans, Jacksonville Jaguars fans can find solace in a few positives from Sunday's game. First, they were part of the first overtime in NFL history to feature three separate scores, but more importantly linebacker Paul Posluszny emerged from a fumble ...

Your Monday Night Football Open Thread
Chicago at San Francisco: So, this might have been a decent game but neither starting quarterback will be playing due to concussions. Instead it's Jason Campbell and Colin Kaepernick. Yikes. Kaepernick did surprise the Jets earlier this year with some solid Wildcat-esque play, but presumably the Be...
![You Can See The Outline Of Some Dude's Dick On The Under Armour Wikipedia Page [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/185tv4oj67bpspng.png)
You Can See The Outline Of Some Dude's Dick On The Under Armour Wikipedia Page [UPDATE]
We could elaborate on the headline, but tipster Pat explained it well in his email. In his quest to find some legitimate information on Wikipedia, he ended up being sidetracked after discovering a picture of a guy in compression shorts, the outline of his dick clearly visible....

Got Thanksgiving Questions? The <em>New York Times's</em> Expert, Sam Sifton, Is Here To Answer Them
Sam Sifton was, until last year, The New York Times's restaurant critic. He also manned the paper's Thanksgiving help line. Now he's written a delightful little volume of essentials, Thanksgiving: How To Cook It Well. It's not too late to save your holiday! Sam can help, with sides, desserts, place ...

The People That Own Nets.com Are Now Redirecting The Page To The Knicks' All-Star Ballot
A while back, we looked into who owns Nets.com, and why that web address doesn't redirect to the NBA website's subpage for the Brooklyn Nets. Type in the name for any other team in the league, and you'll be redirected to NBA.com/TEAM. If you typed in Nets.com a few months ago, you were redirected to...

Jason Kidd Plus A Scalp Wound Plus A Headband Equals A Wes Anderson Character
The Knicks are playing the Pacers this afternoon at Madison Square Garden. As of this writing, the Knicks had a 16-point lead halfway through the third quarter. Sadly, Jason Kidd suffered a head injury and was replaced by what appears to be a scalped Bob Balaban....

Kansas State Gets Blown Out By Baylor And Oregon Falls To Stanford At Home As The Top Two BCS Teams Get Their First Losses On The Same Night
A week from college football's end-of-season reckoning and Kansas State and Oregon, ranked first and second respectively in the BCS standings going into today's games, have taken their first losses of the season. The defeats likely pave the way for a new BCS leader in (gulp) Notre Dame, a 38-0 win...

The University Of Maryland's Twitter Account Was Hacked, Kept It Pretty Real For About Twenty Minutes
Along with Rutgers, the University of Maryland looks likely to flee its current conference for the Big Ten, and some people—notably, the person who hacked Maryland's official Twitter account tonight—are pretty happy about it. At first it seems conceivable that the person who manages UM's social med...