ks Page 857 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Do You Wear Board Shorts or Swim Trunks? Either Way, You Need New Ones
Every man can stand to look a little better on the beach. And no one wants to see you in those faded, sagging trunks you bought in college. So this summer, get some better-fitting swimwear from Bonobos, the online retailer known for better-fitting man pants....

Nobody Wants To Do <i>Hard Knocks</i> Except The Jaguars, And <i>Hard Knocks</i> Doesn't Want Them
ESPN says that the Falcons thought about it really hard, but decided they'll pass on being profiled on Hard Knocks this season. They say they'd like to focus on football and football only, which makes us wonder if Rex Ryan wasn't the worst thing that ever happened to this show....

This Drunk Lady Keeled Over In The Aisle During A Mavs Game
Friday night. Dallas. Spotlights beam down on a meaningless game, the playoff-bound (but underwhelming) Mavs against the tanking Golden State Warriors. The game is a spectacle. A party, really. For this lady. Reader and amateur videographer Baron tells us that the lass dances ("inappropriately str...

Vancouver Fans Quietly Shuffle Home Without Bothering Anyone
This Canucks season ended slightly more prosaically than the last one. No fires, no broken windows, no hungover city sheepishly cleaning up after itself and swearing that its thousands of jersey-clad rioters in no way represent the fans or Vancouver....

Stalker Sends Olympic High Jumper Ariane Friedrich A Picture Of His Genitals, She Outs Him Via Facebook
Rough times for stalkers/twisted assholes. Not long after Jon Lovitz took to Twitter to expose bullying tween-aged anti-Semites, German Olympian Ariane Friedrich chose to out a man on Facebook for stalking her and sending her a picture of his "genitals," otherwise known as "penis and testicles."...

Fox Sports Announcer Thinks He Is Interviewing Canucks' Ryan "The Guzzler" Kesler But Is Really Interviewing Kevin Bieksa
Noted troublemaker Kevin Bieksa of the Vancouver Canucks did a number on poor Mike Dunsmore of Fox Sports Radio following Game 4. Dunsmore apparently approached Bieksa thinking it was Kesler and Bieksa just played along. Right from jump street Bieksa references Kesler's controversial quotes about ...

Penn State Admits Official Fired Earlier This Week Was Fired For His Role In Sandusky Investigation
In an admission that shocks absolutely no one, unnamed sources within the Penn State athletic department have confirmed that associate athletic director Mark Sherburne was fired this week for his role in the investigation of child sex abuse claims against former coach Jerry Sandusky and the adminis...

NHL Suspends Raffi Torres 25 Games For Hit On Marian Hossa
Earlier today the NHL announced that Raffi Torres will be suspended for 25 games for this violent hit on Marian Hossa....

Amar'e Stoudemire Returns, Knicks Flunk Chemistry
The ingredients were all there for wild and frothing beakers to report on the Knicks game last night: A Friday night. A terrible opponent. One superstar is introduced to an otherwise stable (for the Knicks, anyway) environment, with basically nothing at stake. And, of course, weeks worth of wonderi...

"I Always Told Her I Would Take Her For A Ride": Notes From Bobby Petrino's Meeting With Arkansas Before They Fired Him
"I am still looking for ways you can remain our coach," Arkansas athletic director Jeff Long wrote in his prepared notes before a meeting with Bobby Petrino. It was April 8, and the university would fire Petrino with cause two days later. "Help me understand why this [sic] are not violations of your...

Unpopular Sport Forms "Strategic Promotional Alliance" With Band That Sucks
Big announcement today from the NHL. So big it merited a press release that maunders on for nearly 1,000 words. You're not going to bother reading it, but here's the gist: The NHL has an awards show on June 20 in Las Vegas. It has hired Nickelback to be the headlining band. It's hailing the move as ...

Posting A Facebook Photo From The London Olympics Could Land You In Court
Art by Ronald Wigman....

College Newspaper Captures Euphoria Of Historic Upset With Headline Alluding To Masturbation
Division II Francis Marion University (S.C.) knocked off defending Division I national champ South Carolina in a baseball game on April 11. FMU's student paper is a weekly, and even though the edition chronicling the big win wasn't published until this week, the upset was still enough to merit front...

Michael Bourn Holds Up The Game With A Bathroom Break
When you gotta go, you gotta go. For most of us, that means quietly taking a break before we resume whatever it is we were doing. For Michael Bourn, last night it meant the start of the bottom of the fourth inning in Arizona had to be delayed, since everyone noticed the Braves had taken the field ...

Bobby Petrino Claimed He Started Seeing Jessica Dorrell In October, Ended Things In February
On April 10, the day Arkansas fired Bobby Petrino, the outgoing coach sat down with athletic director Jeff Long. Petrino gave Long some details of his relationship with Jessica Dorrell, and Long's handwritten notes were included in a personnel file released by the university today. ...

Diamondbacks Fan Catches Foul Ball, Does Not Drop Pizza
This happened Monday night, but it was only brought to our attention today. Let's blame the fact that the Pirates were playing. Anyway, just throw it in the pile with all those other videos of guys catching foul balls while holding a baby or a cup of beer, while one of the announcers cracks wise a...

NHL Disciplinary Math Update
Complaining that no penalty was called on this is four times as bad as doing this. Carry on....

Baby Ducks: The Forgotten Victims Of The NHL Playoffs
The playoffs photoshop and gif thread at HFBoards is going strong, and Pass It To Bulis has collected some of the best tumblin' Ryan Kesler gifs so far. We're patiently awaiting Nicklas Backstrom cross-checking Boo the Dog, so get on that, anonymous creative internet people....

Lou Williams Tries To Sit, Andre Iguodala Yanks His Seat
It's been a tough run of late for the 76ers. They had lost three straight and seven of nine heading into last night's appointment in Cleveland, and their CEO is now soliciting personnel input from the internet. But because they earned a much-needed road win, garbage time offered an occasion to smi...

Carmelo Anthony Has A Big Painting Of Carmelo Anthony In His Living Room
Because New York loves Carmelo again, the Post thought it time to sit down with wife La La and ask her about their Midtown apartment. (Sample answer: "Of course, many of Carmelo's teammates from the Knicks have been over, and my friends Kelly Rowland and Serena Williams have dropped in.")...