ks Page 879 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Low-Budget Pitbull Imitator Produces Nauseating "Do The Mark Sanchez" Video
There aren't too many lyrics here, other than "do the Mark Sanchez," and "heart of a champion," so it's hard to dispute their words with statistical evidence. (Of note: the call-and-response here is "Who's number one?" "We number one!" But "we" could really be the Jets or the performers.) Mark San...
The Official Who Breaks Up A Hockey Fight Will Sometimes Get Punched In the Face. Twice.
Your morning roundup for Nov. 4, the day we finally had it up to here with hugging. Video of hockey fight via Cosby Sweaters; H/T to Alicia. For an excellent GIF of Cal Clutterbuck's punch, be sure to check out West Coast Digress. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
The Facial Expression On The World's Fastest Jump Roper Is Gold
[via The Score]...
Mark Cuban's "Fuck You" Legal Brief Gives Him The Win In Ross Perot Jr. Lawsuit
Back in June we brought you the story of Mavericks minority owner Ross Perot Jr.'s lawsuit against Mark Cuban, accusing Cubes of "mismanaging" the team. Cuban's legal team response was simple yet elegant: a photo of the Mavericks celebrating their NBA title....
ShortCenter: The Things They Say About Quarterbacks
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Why A Former ESPN VP Filed A Pre-Emptive Lawsuit Denying He Masturbated In Front Of Erin Andrews
Last month, ESPN announced it was eliminating its bi-coastal, 25-person Content Development department, which was responsible for the network's 30 for 30 series, among other things. The head of the group, Keith Clinkscales, ESPN's senior vice president for content, development, and enterprise, left ...
Appeals Court Finally Tosses Fine Against CBS For Janet Jackson's 2004 Wardrobe Malfunction
Writes the New York Times: "A federal appeals court on Wednesday again threw out a $550,000 fine against CBS by the Federal Communications Commission for Janet Jackson's famed "wardrobe malfunction" during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show."...
It's Come To This: Lenny Dykstra And Jose Canseco Will Fight A Celebrity Boxing Match
Just when you think Lenny Dykstra has finally drowned in life's big fat puddle of chew spit, he swims to the surface long enough to cough up just a little more of what's left of his dignity....
Note To ESPN: There Is A Significant Difference Between An "Elephant Keeper" And An "Elephant Walker"
Tony La Russa is making the post-retirement media tour, and on Monday he stopped by Late Show with David Letterman, during which he revealed a Sacramento-area animal rescue group had offered him a position as elephant keeper....
Let's Watch Alex Ovechkin, Benched Late In Regulation, Call His Coach A "Fat Fuck"
Your morning roundup for Nov. 2, the day you wouldn't dare touch our Halloween candy if you knew what was up. Video of Ovechkin, which gets good at the 53-second mark, via 25stanley.com. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Toledo Frat Boy Surprisingly Consumed With Informing You About His Penis
There's been plenty of scoring in the first quarter of MACtion between NIU and Toledo—the Huskies lead 21-14 early, helped by two Tommylee Lewis kickoff return TDs— but this Toledo fratter's looking for some scoring of his own, from the looks of his sign and the very subtle crotch-grab with which ...
Amar'e Stoudemire Is: King Solomon
Not pictured: 700 wives and 300 concubines. [Twitter]...
Paul Bissonnette Is: Hacksaw Jim Duggan
That's a brave, brave costume for the Coyotes tough guy, from the same team Halloween party that brought us the latest blackface costume debate. More importantly, how did the real, out-of-shape Jim Duggan walk around in briefs for a decade and none of us thought twice about it? [Twitter]...
Let's All Enjoy The Poetry In Motion That Is Several Fat Men Lateraling A Sack-Fumble Recovery
The Jacksonville Jaguars, whose only real highlight play this season came in a torrential downpour, executed a lovely double-lateral after a Clint Session sack of Texans quarterback Matt Schaub in the second quarter of their matchup at Reliant Stadium....
There's A New Leader In The Dirtiest Hit Of The Year Contest
How art thee a dirty play? Let me count the ways:...
Czech Referee Gets Drunk, Officiates Soccer Game Poorly
Apparently, this is Tomas Fidra. Tomas had a little bit to drink before heading in to work one day....
Eckstein's Big Heart Is Still The Cards' X-Factor
Rick Bacon is the sports columnist for The Citizen-Pollinator of West Waterville, Missouri. He won an APSE award in 1987 for his column, "Batting Around." This is his first column for Deadspin....
The Kansas Jayhawks Are Ranked Number Two In Quidditch Heading Into The World Cup
Point being, we cannot wait to see how Bill Self blows this one. [Kansas City Star, h/t Ryan]...
Try To Guess How A Youth Hockey Team Used Water Bottles In Their Hazing Ritual
The Neepawa Natives are a Junior A team from Manitoba, and they have a very unique way of welcoming rookies to the squad. The CBC had a pair of whistleblowing parents on yesterday (in silhouette, because the MJHL is serious business), and they spilled the beans on a frank-and-beans-heavy tradition....
Patrick Kane Pulled Off A Perfect Spin-O-Rama Assist Last Night
The Hawks beat the Ducks 3-2 in a shutout in Chicago last night, and Patrick Kane, our favorite Buffalo boozehound, provided the prettiest play of the game. This assist to Marian Hossa tied it up in the second period. Kane later told reporters that he'd discussed the move with Hawks great Denis Sa...