ks Page 947 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Just Give Your Car Keys To Aaron Brooks And He'll Park It For You
Either the Houston Rockets veterans had a little fun with Aaron Brooks this weekend or he forgot to bring his ventriloquist dummy to the post-game press conference....

Carmelo Anthony Hits Game-Winning Three, All Hell Breaks Loose
Chaos in Dallas last night as Melo hit a game winner, Mark Cuban passed on some Mother's Day greetings, and Josh Howard channeled his inner Hulk....

There Is Another Sanchez Living Inside Mark Sanchez's Mouth
New York media, please be on high alert: It turns out the man drafted to save the Jets' franchise from the ghost of Favre and the incompetence of Clemens/Ratliff allegedly is lip- inked and loves doggy-style....

Freddie Mitchell Is Talking To Someone
He's not in the NFL due to "things out of his control." [Freddie Mitchell]...

The Dirk Nowitzki Saga Takes A (Not) Unexpected Twist
A friend of the crazy lady living in Dirk Nowitzki's house says that the woman is Dirk's fiance. Oh, and she's pregnant. Bum-bum-bum! [CBS11]...

Apparently, Dirk Nowitzki Will Explain Why This Questionable Woman Was Staying At His House
Not good: "The Mavericks said they are trying to respect Nowitzki's privacy, but they expect the star forward to address the arrest at a media availability Thursday at practice, Channel 5 reported." [Star-Telegram]...

Alex and Sid's Dueling Hat Tricks
The NHL got what it wanted—a Crosby/Ovechkin playoff showdown—and the first two games have lived up to the billing. If only they can find a way to make it last longer than two more games....

And The 2009 Brian Baldinger Award Goes To...Torry Holt
The former Rams' wide receiver instills confidence in his catching ability in front of a confused Jacksonville press corps. [With Leather]...

Not All Seven Game Series Are Equal
There were two seven-game series in the first round of the the NBA Playoffs. One was the greatest series in the history of sport. The other was not....

John Danks Kills A Squirrel Or John Danks Shows How He Gets So Much Movement On His Pitches Or John Danks Stabs His Brain Or...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

This Is Why You Don't Let Coaches On The Field
Did you know that because Arena Football games don't really have sidelines coaches are allowed to stand on the field of play? So everyone knew that one would eventually end up in a wheelchair, right?...

Hawks Radio Announcers Might Be Biased Against Dwayne Wade
Things got a little chippy during Atlanta's 106-91 mugging of Miami, but that seemed okay with the Hawks radio crews—as long as "the great Dwayne Wade" was on the receiving end of the rough stuff....

Embrace The Goodness That Will Be 'Hard Knocks: The Cincinnati Bengals'
After making it through last season's promising Hard Knocks: Dallas Cowboys without any noteworthy melodrama, HBO decided it needs to inch a bit closer to full-on madness. Yes, Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals is for real....

You Suck, Schuster!
A double in the top of the third ended Patrick Schuster's bid for a fifth consecutive no-hitter. [TampaTribune]...

Can This Kid Throw Five No-Hitters In A Row? (No Pressure!)
Florida high school pitcher Patrick Schuster goes for no-hitter No. 5 today in the state playoffs. But he already got his feature in the New York Times, so what's the point? [NY Times]...

So Much For That San Jose Dynasty
After dominating the first part of this season and then holding off Detroit to snag the best record in the league, the Sharks really thought that this was their year. Yeah, not exactly....

I'm Kobe Bryant, And I'm Taking Over This Motion Picture
Spike Lee is denying the whole thing, but the New York Post is telling the tale of how Kobe Bryant supposedly hijacked Lee's documentary of him to present himself in the best possible light....

David Eckstein Is Married To A Jedi
Ashley Eckstein—wife of San Diego grit machine David—provides the voice for Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker's Padawan apprentice in the "Clone Wars" animated series. That explains so much. [LA Times]...

T-R-D-E! Trade! Trade! Trade!
The Browns were all "hey, let's pick someone" and the Jets were all "um, no, how bout we draft?" and the Browns were all "whoa" and the Jets were all "yay, Sanchez!"...