ks Page 949 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Nick Swisher To The Rescue
The Yankees off-season pitching additions are starting to pay-off. Swisher's line yesterday: 1.0IP 1H 0R 1K. Unfortunately they lost to the DRays 15-5. [3:10 To Joba]...

Miami Feels The Pain That Will Last A Lifetime
In the annals of gut-wrenching defeats, you're going to have to dig deep to find one tougher than Miami's collapse against Boston in the NCAA hockey final on Sunday....

Don't Miss Your Best Chance To Watch College Hockey All Year
Boston takes on Miami in the National Championship at 7:00—but it's on opposite the NCAA Women's Bowling Championship on ESPN2! (Semis online now!) It's like asking to choose the favorite among my childrens! [ESPN; NCAA]...

Sponsor Shout-out
Thanks to this week's sponsors: The Cougar on TV Land, Crunch Fitness, Orzel Vodka, Virgin Atlantic. To become an advertiser, click here....

All New TV Series Should Include Bobby Knight Posters
Ken Tremendous, aka Michael Schur, may have a hit on his hands with Parks and Recreation, the new series that debuted last night on NBC. How can it fail with scenes like this? [Mouthpiece Sports]...

Ancient Cheerleader Manual Reveals Secrets To Making Classmates Jealous
You have probably thought about being a cheerleader, but may think that you're right not for the job. Nonsense! If you can speak English, dress appropriately and pretend to like your school, anything is possible!...

Will The Shaq-Cuban Love Affair Live Forever?
Shaquille O'Neal and Mark Cuban are Twitter buddies, which is a bond that cannot be broken. Since Shaq's current team is officially broken, will he go hang with his pal on the grassy knoll?...

Here's Your 'Man Streaks Little League Game' Story For Today
Port St. Lucie (Fla.) police are looking for a man who sped naked across the outfield at a youth baseball game on Thursday. Yeah, might as well set your sights high, dude....

NFL Prospects: If You Don't Want To Damage Your Draft Position, Keep Your Dirty Details Off The Internet
Here's a fascinating story from Yahoo!'s Charles Robinson about how some NFL teams create phony social networking accounts to do some clandestine character background checks of potential draft picks. This is what we hath wrought....

Philadelphia Raises Its Championship Flag, Acts Accordingly
And it wasn't even Dollar Dog Night. But Phillies fans are not used to feeling superior and continue to adjust. Even though the frustration of 28 championship-less years has more or less disintegrated, there's obviously still a lot of bite with these puppies. A simple discourteous shove in Ashburn A...

Are You Ready To Welcome Your New Kansas City Overlords?
The New York Times has picked the Royals to win their division. Let that roll around on your tongue for a bit. Mmmm (cough). [New York Times]...

Chicago, Meet Your New Quarterback: Jay Cutler
In somewhat of a stunning move in the, wow-that-happened-fast sense, the Denver Broncos have traded Jay Cutler to the Chicago Bears for, well — A LOT....

I Think We Can All Agree That The FAKE Seahawks' New Jerseys Are Hideous (With Update)
The new neon green Seahawks alternate jersey, shown here assaulting our senses so completely, turns out to be a joke, perpetrated by those rascals at Uniwatch Blog....

Steve Phillips Finally Addresses Those Stupid Mock Press Conferences
"I actually thought they should do it again. Even though people criticized it, it was creative and different and why not take those kinds of chances when, you know, what's the risk, really?" [OnTheDL]...

Jay Cutler's First Stop On The "Who Wants Me?" Tour — UFC Fight Night
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Boston Guys: This Woman Could Be Your Wife One Day
There's something so calming about this dimwitted lady's Sisyphean trudge up the down-side of the escalator, undeterred by science, or the thousands of annoyed Bruins fans in her path....

Oregon Basketball Infected By Cannibalism?
Three Oregon basketball players were cited on Monday for shooting BB guns ... at ducks! That's just sick! [Register-Guard]...

Who Is This Dashing Soccer Player, And Why Is He Using His Hands?
Hint: He now makes millions playing a different sport, and once dated Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel. Yes, it's Derek Jeter, whose mom once again forgot to bring the post-game orange slices....

Alyssa Milano Admits To Prematurely Hopping On/In Bed With the Carl Pavano Bandwagon
"This was right after he won the World Series. So he was kind of baseball royalty. It was before he came to the Yankees...and became the Carl Pavano you know." [HHR]...

NCAA Sweet 16: (2) Michigan State vs. (3) Kansas
West Region: No. 2 Michigan State (28-6) vs. No. 3 Kansas (27-7) When: Thursday, 9:37 p.m., EDT Where: Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, Indiana MICHIGAN STATE SPARTANS 1) START THE CLOCK! I would like to thank Pete for reminding me about one of the darkest moments in MSU basketball history. (See b...