ks Page 968 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Feeble Skills Are No Match For This Man
On Sunday in New York, Tyler Hinman successfully completed the puzzle shown above to capture his fourth straight American Crossword Puzzle Tournament championship, which makes him the Tiger Woods of crossword puzzles, according to one writer. But more importantly, what's a 'wisesupto?' Is that thre...
Isiah Thomas Joins "Fire Isiah" Movement
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks Isiah has been trying to get fired for years - I mean, would you want to coach the Knicks? Didn't think so. When he's not trying to make sense of Isiah's substitution patterns, he can be found scrapbooking at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Okay, seriousl...
Eric Byrnes Can Tolerate Men Staring At His Junk
We haven't heard much from Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes in the offseason, but we can only guarantee it was something EXTREME AND WHOLLY UNPREDICTABLE! ZIGGITY SWISH! He's back this year, and his Diamondbacks were among the first to be drug tested. Byrnes is absolutely comfortable with the pro...
Yankees-Red Sox Feud Reaches Depths Of A Free Hat
If you haven't been paying attention to Hank "Raul Castro" Steinbrenner's words about the Red Sox in the last few days, congratulations! You're officially aware of the 28 other teams of the league....
Kansas Fans Know What Erin Andrews Likes
Unquestioned, kind Kansas fan! Erin Andrews is a true professional who enjoys the game of college basketball. That's why she can be seen on various sidelines of notable games across the country, getting exclusive interviews with today's most prominent coaches and bringing viewers updates as the game...
John Wooden Falls, Will Get Up Soon
Okay, who left the Pyramid of Success out in the middle of the den for everyone to trip over? C'mon, one of you better fess up to this. Because now John Wooden took a pretty bad spill thanks to your irresponsibility....
Yet Another Reason To Loathe Starbucks And Ridicule Dumb Defensemen
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
Stephon Marbury Should Be A Professional Prognosticator
It's particularly amusing in the wake of the great Zach Randolph "possession." How young we were back in July 2007 ... how little we knew!...
Sean Salisbury, Moving On Down That Road, Man
To the casual ESPN viewer, it must have seemed confusing that Sean Salisbury, the former Vikings quarterback who once actually sported a fade, would be one of the most prominent NFL analysts on the world's biggest sports media enterprise. Sean Salisbury? That guy? Really?...
Isiah Thomas' Knicks Legacy, Summed Up In One Possession
You might have seen this already, but honestly: We've yet to see one play encapsulate a team's season more accurately than this Zach Randolph "possession" right here....
Get Ready For The Glory And Majesty That Is The 'Name Of The Year' tournament
It's like waking up the morning before the NCAA Basketball Tournament and discovering that your favorite team has lost its eligibility (*cough* Hoosiers! *cough*). That was my reaction when I found out this morning that Brian Suksomwong has been booted from the prestigious Name of the Year competiti...
I'm Buying Whatever He's Selling
In other news, the real Bill Belichick is still at large....
Those Eight Percent Shooting Nights Will Get You Every Time
Just great. One round into the District 3 Class A high school boys basketball playoffs in Pennsylvania, and my brackets are already in shambles. The team I had picked to reach the finals, the York Country Day Greyhounds, lost to the Scotland Cadets 74-5 last week. Yeah, think that the Knicks' 40-poi...
May Isiah Thomas Never Leave Us
We know it was mentioned in the NBA Closer, but we really have to delve further into what happened with Isiah Thomas and the Knicks in Philadelphia last night....
Keith Van Horn Has A Nice Gig, If You Can Get It
After the Jason Kidd trade finally went down — Mark Cuban says "this deal will have impact!" — the one question everyone had was ... Keith Van Horn's still playing? No, he isn't, which you probably know by now; he just never filed the papers. And now he's even richer than he was before....
Top 10 Things That Are More Boring Than The Bibby Trade
In case you missed it - and that would have been easy to do - Mike Bibby was traded to the Atlanta Hawks last weekend. I sincerely hope you don't care, but in case you do, the Hawks sent starting point guard Anthony Johnson, 2007 first-round pick Shelden Williams, backup point guard Tyronn Lue, vete...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Blackhawks, Brawls And Brewskies
Since tedious analysis is the stuff of "power rankings," each Monday NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski uses a form of universal expression: Success in terms of beer. Before we get to the fury of fists that was Oilers/Canucks, welcome to The Brewmeister Ratings......