l Page 7298 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Always Surly In Philadelphia
To the shock of precisely no one, the real action in last night's UFC 101 was in the crowd, as every Philadelphian tried to fight every other Philadelphian. Winner: you!...

Not A Game, We Talking 'Bout Malpractice
Tebucky Jones plans to sue New England's team doctors for misdiagnosing his injuries and ending his career. The Mets' class-action suit is still collecting plaintiffs. [NESN]...

Isn't Anyone Here Even Hard Of Hearing?
When Ghana sent a deaf soccer team to Australia, they neglected to actually send any deaf people. But it's not cheating, because the Aussies' deaf soccer team included only three hearing-impaired players!...

Why Sports Wives Don't Remain Sports Wives For Too Long
In the non-news category, professional athletes divorce far more often than the national average. The real question is why do they bother getting married in the first place?...

Big Ben Accuser Wanted A Little Ben In Her Belly
I've got too much decency to question the veracity of someone's claims of sexual assault. But it really doesn't help your case when you go bragging about your encounter to co-workers and say you're hoping you've been impregnated....

Hockey Arrests! Aww, Just Like A Real Sport
Blackhawks star Patrick Kane was arrested this morning for punching a cabbie who didn't have the 20 cents in change he wanted. So that's assault, robbery, and I'm going to assume underage drinking charges for the 20-year-old. [Buffalo News]...

Like Transformers, GaTech Only Looks Good Beside Inferior Contemporaries
In an attempt to outdo Tennessee's auto-erotic Lamborghini, Georgia Tech's football team posed with not one, but two muscle cars. Also, they can turn into giant robots that fight evil....

Reggie Miller Goes After Another Man's Girl, Gets A Restraining Order For His Trouble (UPDATE)
A banner warning Reggie Miller off of married women was flown over southern California beaches. Seems Miller's been accused of trying to dip his Dunkaroos in someone else's frosting cup, and we've got the restraining order to prove it....

At Least This Man Is Used To Hard Luck
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Josh Hamilton Clears The Air, His Conscience And Pleads "Human"
Thanks to Kevin at Big League Stew for his amazing Twitter updates from the Hamilton press conference, attended by Yahoo's(!) Jeff Passan....

And David Ortiz Has A Few Things To Get Off Of His Chest
Big Papi handled himself as confidently and apologetically as he possibly could while he addressed the whole "why's your name popping up on that mysterious list of bad, bad men"-issue. No steroids, he says. Just supplements....

Text From Rangers Presser: Hamilton To Validate Photos...
Just received this text from reporter at presser. Sheesh. Will update when ready......

The Tao Of Mutton Bustin'
12-year-old Trysta espouses her wisdom: "I just tried to hold on to the sheep like it was a pillow."(Photo by Chris Dunker)[The Beatrice Daily Sun]...

Josh Hamilton's Mentor: "I'd Be Shocked" If Photos Are Real
"I don't put a lot of credence in someone saying they have photographs of Josh in a bar," says Johnny Narron, a special assignment coach with the Rangers and Josh Hamilton's "accountability partner" since 2007....

The Devil Is Still In Josh Hamilton (Update)
Josh Hamilton claims he's been sober since October 2005. Since then he's rejuvenated his career, saved his marriage, devoted himself to Jesus, and become America's flawed, homer-derby hero. Last winter, while he was alone in Tempe, Arizona, Hambone kinda slipped....

And It's Albert Pujols To The Rescue Again
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Remember To Help Enshrine The Worthy
In case you forgot, given all the Twitter madness and the server shutdowns this week, it is DSHOF week. Right now, Barkley is the only one who looks to have a reasonable shot at enshrinement. He continues to amaze....

Is This The End Of John Smoltz?
The 42-year-old was DFA'd a day after he gave up eight runs and nine hits in a loss to the Yankees, raising his ERA to 8.33. Theo Epstein flew to New York to deliver the news in person. [Boston Globe]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Minnesota Twins' Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome....