l Page 7318 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Sports News On A Sportsless Day
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

It's Not Officially A No-Hitter Until You Drink With A Panda
Some might tell you that Jonathan Sanchez's good luck charm was his father watching him pitch for the first time as a pro. Those people are about to learn of the Power of the Panda....

Is That A Threat, Detroit?
The Lions ill-advisedly offer to let their fans relive 0-16, anytime they want. Gee, thanks. [H/T: Reader Tim]...

How To Deal With A Day Without Sports
It's Black Wednesday, the one day on the calendar with no professional sports going on (the WNBA is offering four games tonight). How is the sports media coping with the empirically slowest news day of the year?...

Jeremy Mayfield Fails Meth Test (Not A Deadspin Classic Post)
NASCAR has been looking for something, anything to get a judge to reinstate Jeremy Mayfield's ban after testing positive for meth. Perhaps testing positive for it again last week will do the trick....

Ichiro and Obama Talk Fashion, Of Course
"I realized after seeing him today that presidents wear jeans, too. So my hope is that our skipper, [Don] Wakamatsu, was watching that and we can wear jeans on our flights as well." [MLB.com]...

Fox's Marketing Ploy May Have Been More Evil Than Previously Thought
It's bad enough that stupid Yuppie Gollum was nothing but a promotional stunt, but this is so much worse: A reader reports that Yuppie Gollum wasn't even at the All-Star Game. I'll let that sink in....

Back And To The Far Right: A Different View Of Obama's First Pitch
The National Review's Andy McCarthy summons the ghost of Jim Garrison. You know you're in for a treat when the bizarre claim that "the sports press is among the media's leftiest precincts" is the sanest thing in here. [NRO]...

Have You Seen This Purple Convertible?
Granted, Carolina linebacker Thomas Davis' $136,000 purple and chrome Caprice Classic really blends into a crowd, but it was stolen last week, so holler if you find it. Must be a lot of Panther-loving Prince fans out there. [WFMB/WRAL]...

Fixing The President's Throwing Motion
As you know, our commander-in-chief took the mound last night and did an excellent impression of a man trying to throw a party balloon. I asked some experts to evaluate Obama's mechanics and explain just what needed to be fixed....

Dear You, Tell Us More About Yourself...
...by completing this fun-filled survey all about YOU. Send the last question to [email protected], thereby entering yourself to win a $300 AMEX gift card. Then we'll take a long walk on the beach together, planning our future while the surf gently laps at our toes. Love, Gawker. [Contest rules app...

Lamest Excuse Ever Helps Tennis Player Beat Drug Rap
French tennis player Richard Gasquet told officials that the reason he tested positive for cocaine last March was because he kissed a woman who had cocaine on her lips....and that worked! Suspension over! It's strip club time! [BBC]...

ESPYS: A Live Report From Within The Vicinity Of Matthew Berry
The Talented Mr. PoonTo Returns. From an onlooker: "Matt berry is picking up on his espy escort chick about 20ft away from me.. Just got her number." Said "escort chick" is to the right, btw. Developing......

Warning: Don't Give Sidney Crosby Money On MySpace
Believe it or not, Sidney Crosby's MySpace page does not actually belong to Sidney Crosby! Oh, and if you gave the person who does run that page $500 to help save a park, you're an idiot....

Jay Crawford: ESPN's Resident Hard-Ass
This is an excellent story. Take heed, North Jersey adult league recreational baseball pitchers: If you plunk the First Take host in the back of the neck, he may kill you. Full [Sic'd] story after the jump:...

Nancy Boys Play Like ... Well, Nancy Boys
Look, when you play for a soccer team from a town named Nancy, headlines like this are inevitable. (What editor could resist?) Especially when you run away from swine flu like a team of little girls. [ESPN]...

Erin Andrews' Chin Has Healed Nicely...
But it appears she was attacked by a tiger before the ESPYs last night. Hope she's okay. [TMZ/Hot Clicks]...

Terrell Owens Suddenly Remembers He Has This Thing He Has To Be At
I was surprised to learn "The Superstars" was actually on last night, opposite the All-Star Pregame. (Counterprogramming!) Thanks to the magic of time travel, I have learned that the episode was way more pointless than usual....

The All-Star Game, Through The Eyes Of A Great Photographer
For the second consecutive year, I attended the Baseball All-Star parade. (Sorry: "Red Carpet Day.") This year, I even stuck around for the game. Witness my sad attempt at photography as we do an old school Road Trip....

Jim Cramer Was Wrong About Lenny Dykstra, Everything Else
Jon Stewart would like to remind everyone that financial "expert" Jim Cramer endorsed Lenny Dykstra as "one of the great ones in this business." And the business he was referring to was not "collecting tobacco juice."...