l Page 7389 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jon Gruden Joins "Monday Night Football" Crew. Seriously.
Good news for Kornheiser haters! Tony is officially stepping down as third man in the "Monday Night Football" booth. The slightly more exciting (upsetting? baffling?) news is that Lil' Jon Gruden will take his seat....

Baseball Fans To Be Slightly Less Bleary-Eyed This Fall
For the first time in 30 years (really?), World Series games will start before 8:00 p.m. Eastern this October. So now you can fall asleep in the seventh inning instead of the sixth. [ESPN; photo via LIFE]...

The Minnesota Twins Had A Rough Weekend
Ron Gardenhire's crew arrived in the Bronx just in time for the movers who finally brought over the magical Yankees Magic Machine from the other stadium. Oooooh ... ghosts!...

Adam Burish Survives Horrifying Decapitation Attempt
The Blackhawks lost Game One of the Western Conference Finals yesterday, but Burish's head is still attached to the rest of his body so I guess he has that going for him. Teammate Ben Eager got tangled up with a Red Wing player in the second period and his foot—you know the one with the freshly shar...

Fat Old Lakers Fan Wearing Sunglasses Rejoices
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Crafty Magic Marketing Team Successfully Added Insult
Enter a New England zip code dressed in opposing team colors and you risk dismemberment. Enter Boston sticker-sniping and you risk death. This group survived and came home with a win. [SpartyAndFriends]...

Magic Destroy Celtics
Here's hoping tonight's Game 7 is a little more entertaining than the Rockets/Lakers snoozefest. Not so much. Consider this your DUAN!/open thread area that will take you into Monday....

No, The Naked Viking Did Not Win Bay To Breakers
The 98th annual Bay To Breakers race saw a 22-year-old Kenyan break the course record despite usual overabundance of nude weirdos.[NSFWish] [Quirky San Francisco}...

Let's Reconsider Making A 2 Legit 2 Twit Joke
M.C. Hammer: "Watching No Doubt with Big Ben and my Son at Tiger Woods event !!" [M.C. Hammer Twitter]...

Jack Kerouac's Fantasy Baseball Dorkdom
Jack Kerouac led a busy life boozing, writing, bee-bopping, and banging Neal Cassady's wife, but he was also quite the nerdsworth when it came to fantasy baseball. Heavy emphasis on the "fantasy."...

Red Hawks. Black Wings. Open Thread.
Puckheads...enjoy. [Yahoo Sports]...

Jinxing Clayton Kershaw
Clayton Kershaw no-hitting Marlins... (UPDATE: oops.)[SI]...

Lakets. Rockers. Game 7 Open Thread.
Will Kobe take this series back? Will Ron Artest lick his neck? Will Luis Scola's swarthy musk be too much for the Lakers too handle? Find out which of these brave competitors will earn the right to be defeated by the Nuggets. [Yahoo]...

The Lingerie Football League Tryouts Are Not For The Weak
Anika Edwards needed medical attention after she injured herself during the New York Majesty tryouts. Unwilling to let her dream die, she's considering flying down to see Dr. James Andrews for a second opinion. [BWE]...

John Lackey's Two-Pitch Debut Was Inspiring
What's with pitchers throwing at Ian Kinsler? First it was Bobby Jenks' $750 high heat, and now Angels' starter John Lackey decided the Rangers' second baseman needed a good plunking....

Patrick Ewing Predicts Magic Will Win Game 7
But Doc Rivers knows better: "Oh that's great. We feel great about that. I've been on those Knicks teams where he had some predictions." [Green Street]...

Big Papi Needs A Hug
Theories abound as to why David Ortiz continues to be Big Stinky this season: lingering wrist injury, PED withdrawal, swine flu, etc....

Don't Make Any Loud Noises While Tyler Hansbrough Writes His Name
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

One Connecticut High School Golf Team Shows Why Everyone On The Planet Hates Them
"We were going to have to bag it. It would have been a bummer. I just called my dad. He has a friend who has a couple of puddle-jumper planes." [Greenwich Time]...