l Page 7526 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Because Really, What Else Do You Need In The Afterlife?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]....
Really? You Think It Was Roid Rage, Mr. Torre?
Or was he super-angry because he just had four handfuls of Icy-Hot rubbed on his scrotum? You don't know for sure, Joe. [NYT]...
Today Is The 8th Anniversary Of The XFL
I wouldn't have remembered this at all had it not been for an email tipster, but it's amazing to look back and realize how surreal and fucked up Vince McMahon's "real" football league actually was....
Hey, Did You And I Just Buy Santonio Holmes A New Cadillac Escalade?
Whatever happened to the tradition of General Motors giving the Super Bowl MVP a new car? It happened; it's just that GM wanted to keep the presentation quiet this year. And for good reason....
An "Omega 4:20" Watch Would Be The Perfect Accessory
It turns out Michael Phelps wasn't completely negligent of his endorsement contracts — at least he was wearing an Omega watch while he conversed with Captain Bongee. [CNBC]...
Meet Tristan Kingsley, The Super Bowl Porn Girl
So the only winners in the big Comcast Super Bowl porn snafu have to be the Jenna Club and its new inadvertent sex flick superstar, 22-year-old Tristan Kingsley....
Combustible White Girls Get Tossed From Knicks Game For "Keeping It Real"
We've all been at sporting events where some nearby fans get a little out of control. And at last night's Knicks game, things went absurdly awry for one particular group of female attendees....
Guys With Trophy Snarl Downtown Traffic, Film At 11
• Nice hats: Live from the Steeler victory parade. "You guys want to pick up the pace? I'm trying to get to work!" [Mondesi's House]...
Young Florida Fan Gets Preview Of College Life
Just guessing, but this is probably exactly how Michael Phelps acted during that South Carolina frat party. (Examines fingers) ... "Is this real life?"...
NBA To Ride The Horse During All-Star Weekend
It's not an officially sanctioned NBA event, like the Dunk and Three-Point contests, but it will be aired by TNT on the Saturday night before the game. (That's February 14, in case you were wondering.) It will also feature bona fide professional basketball players, although the participants haven't ...
Lawrence Taylor To Become Newest "That Guy From The Dancing Show"
LT to be the next awkward oversized athlete on "Dancing With The Stars." He should have no problem breaking his partner's leg. [Sports Hernia]...
Lindsey Vonn Wins Gold, Would Prefer Another Cow
American Lindsey Vonn won her first major ski gold medal today, but still pines for the days when she was paid for victories in livestock....
The God Save The Fan (Paperback Edition) FAQ
Today, the paperback version of God Save The Fan is released to bookstores. There's some stuff that's different than the last version....
The Onion Sports Network Debuts
Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team”Let’s steam things up.” [Onion Sports Network]...
Bob Costas Joins MLB Network, But "Costas Now" Is Gone Forever
After months of haggling, the upstart MLB Network (which is pretty excellent by the way) has finally inked him to a full-time deal, Darren Rovell reports....
Alaskan Hockey Games Listed As "Questionable (Volcano)"
Well, here's something you don't see every day. A weekend hockey series between Alaska-Anchorage and St. Cloud State is in danger of being scrapped due to impending volcanic eruption. Huh?...
Mickey Gets A Booth Review
Santonio Holmes visits Disney World. In exchange, Mickey Mouse will be cited and appear in a Pittsburgh court on possession of marijuana charges. [Orlando Sentinel]...
What Is Up With That Steelers Fight Song?
If you managed to catch any of the Pittsburgh Steelers victory parade today, you might have heard the haunting bass grooves of what might be the worst team fight song of all time....
Comcast: Sorry For The Porn, Here's Ten Bucks
Comcast is vowing to catch the saboteur who spliced porn into the Super Bowl broadcast to some 80,000 subscribers in the Tucson area on Sunday. But in the meantime, here's a $10 coupon. Porn credit!...
Super Bowl XLIV Odds Allow You To Get The Jump On Next Year's Gambling Losses
The Patriots—quarterback controversy!—are 8-1 favorites to win next year's Super Bowl. Dallas (yeah, that'll happen) is 9-1. Arizona? 30-1. Let it ride. [The Spread]...