lastnightswinner Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Weekend Winner: Free Agents Breaking The Bank
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like NBA free agents, who are just flat out getting paid. I thought we were headed for a work stoppage? Actually, that's probably why these contracts are flying....
Last Night's Winner: Officially Sanctioned Baseball Betting
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Major League Baseball, which introduced a devious new scheme to rob optimistic fans. And, damn it, it's just so brilliant, you'll probably give them your cash too....
Last Night's Winner: NBA Nerds
In sports, everyone is winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who actually care about NBA free agency. You did it. You've arrived. Go ahead and start annoying everyone with your "official" guesses....
Last Night's Winner: Kevin Kolb's Chances Of Starting
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the candidate for the Eagles QB job who wasn't just placed at the scene of a shooting, thanks to some handy surveillance camera footage....
Last Night's Winner: Joel Zumaya's Crossed Stars
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the furies who have dogged poor Joel Zumaya his whole career and who last night may have finally ended it....
Weekend Winner: English Tabloid Headlines
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the editors of The Sun, who...well, just look....
Last Night's Winner: The Man Who Feasted On John Isner's Dessicated Corpse
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like unseeded Thiemo De Bakker, who was granted a rare Wimbledon bye by being matched up with the injured, exhausted Isner....
Last Night's Winner: The Apotheosis Of Landycakes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Landon Donovan, who yesterday cried on camera and blew a kiss to his ex and somehow didn't get fagbaited for it, the way he always has....
Last Night's Winner: White Magic
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the England National Team, who had apparently been afflicted by a witch doctor curse, which was just lifted by the official Archdruid of Cornwall. Twenty-sided dice, too, probably....
Last Night's Winner: Susan Finkelstein's Erotic Phillies Fiction
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Susan Finkelstein, who offered sex for baseball tickets, and just went live with a new blog featuring her sexual fantasies of the 1980 Phillies. Especially Larry Christenson. Yuck....
Last Night's Winner: The Phillies Fan Who Fell Down The Stairs
In sports everyone's a winner, some just win better than others. Like the poor guy in the blue shirt who ungracefully bought it during the 5th-inning of yesterday's Phillies-Twins game. He gets four gold stars, a blue ribbon and a platinum trophy....
Last Night's Winner: The Voices In Ron Artest's Head
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Ron Artest, who is either a crazy person or an ongoing piece of performance art or both....
Last Night's Winner: Kansas City
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the good people of Kansas City, Mo., who received the 2012 MLB All-Star Game, for some reason. No clear reason, actually....
Last Night's Winner: Game 7 Aficionados
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who aren't ready to resign themselves to soccer and the dog days of baseball season. We still have basketball, for a little while longer....
Last Night's Winner: Joe Schadenfreude
In sports, everyone's a winner — some just win better than others. Like Chip Brown of Orangebloods.com, who went sources-against-sources with ESPN's college football show pony, Joe Schad, during the Big 12 realignment saga and won the battle of truth....
Vince Young's Texas Pride Wins The Weekend
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLAh16kAvPA In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Vince Young standing up for his alma mater, punching out a dude just because he was from Oklahoma....
Last Night's Winner: Robert Green
In sports, everyone's a winner, some just win better than others. Like Robert Green, who is pretty much a loser in every country afraid of the letter "z". But over here, he'd get a one-man parade down the Canyon of Heroes....
Last Night's Winner: The Guy Who Had Sex With Wayne Rooney's Wife (Or Revolutionary Tabloidism)
In sports, everyone's a winner, some just win better than others. Like the filthy American tourist in Cape Town who spent the night totally banging Coleen Rooney. Well struck, sir!...
Last Night's Winner: Boston's Sociopaths
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the inspired weirdos who populate the Celtics' roster and who, drooling and howling and pounding the floor, gave their team a very big victory last night....
Last Night's Winner: The Team That Won The Stanley Cup, Duh
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Chicago Blackhawks and Rocky Wirtz, who needed just three years to undo what Dollar Bill Wirtz spent 40 years screwing up....