lds Page 150 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lesbian Grim Reaper Also Impressed By Kevin Durant's Performance
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

The Clippers, In A Nutshell: Wealthy Incompetent Bickers With Wealthier Incompetent Over $6.75 Million
Mike Dunleavy claims that Clippers owner Donald "Evict the Bitch" Sterling is stiffing him out of a bunch of money that neither of them really deserves. [LAT, via Slam]...

Sexy White Sox Bathroom Sex Horror Story Brought To Life Through Magic Of CGI
The story of Dr. Paul Nemeth inadvertently bringing his 6 year-old son to a live sex show at a White Sox game was the stuff of speculation. It left many questions unanswered, like "Did anyone throw their pants Mean Joe Green style?"...

Strikeforce Post-Bout Brawl Is Childish, Exciting
Jake Shields was confronted during a post-fight interview by Jason "Mayhem" Miller demanding a rematch (Shields beat him in November). Because MMA wants to be the new boxing, their entourages got into it. Bonus: Gus Johnson gets righteous!...

Villanova Pregnancy Hoax Email Results In Confusion, Death Threats
Yesterday, in an attempt to debunk the Fisher-Reynolds pregnancy melodrama rumor that spread via email for the past couple weeks, it appears I became the Big East's Furman Bisher instead. To clarify: It's a hoax. Like this. And this....

Villanova, Syracuse, And The Case Of The Impregnated Girlfriends (UPDATE)
Since Villanova was unceremoniously bounced from the NCAA tournament on March 21 by St. Mary's, many emails have been fired off by frustrated alumni explaining how this happened to their precious team. The reason? Corey Fisher impregnated Scottie Reynolds's girlfriend, of course....

The "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story" Gets A Little More Clear
We still don't know who's telling the whole truth: the drunk kid who allegedly barged into Harold Reynolds' hotel room, or the MLB analyst. To help add detail, one former ESPN employee shares his HR experience from Disney World 1999....

The "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story" Just Won't Die
Although Harold Reynolds summoned the MLB PR department to flatly deny he was ever in Disney World over Spring Break and drunkenly intruded upon by a hapless young man, other people say HR is lying. They sent along this photo....

Harold Reynolds Disputes "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story"
Yesterday we published a somewhat ridiculous Spring Break story from a reader named Kevin that featured an odd cameo from MLB Network analyst Harold Reynolds. Shockingly, Reynolds claims the story is bogus....

I Was There, Spring Break Edition: Breaking Stuff In Harold Reynolds's Hotel Room
In 1999, Kevin and a group of friends spent their Spring Break in Orlando, for reasons that surpasseth all understanding. ESPN's Harold Reynolds was there, too. Slapstick ensued. Here is Kevin's story:...

Clippers Add To Their Distinguished Record Of Racial Sensitivity
I have no idea what's going on in this press release, except that the Steven Esparza in question is a media services assistant with the team, and that the Clippers are an abomination of a franchise. [NBA.com, via @HoopsHype]...

The Rich Get Less Rich, For Once
Due to a "minor" mistake in divvying up their World Series shares, everyone on the Yankees has to pay back $15,000. With this financial hit, I'm sure they're all wishing they played for Pittsburgh last year. [CNBC]...

World's Worst Tennis Pro Still Suing British Newspapers For Declaring Him The World's Worst Tennis Pro
Robert Dee, the world's worst tennis pro, has wrung tens of thousands of pounds in damages out of media organizations that suggested he's the world's worst tennis pro, even though, yeah, he probably is the world's worst tennis pro. [Guardian]...

Arnold Schwarzenegger Has A Question For His Golf Partner: "When Was Your Last Blow Job?"
Via Wei Under Par comes this amusing tale of golfing with the California governor, who apparently behaves as coarsely on the links as he does, well, everywhere else....

PETA Upset By The White Meat Now
PETA is calling out Larry Bird for endorsing McDonalds. Because, apparently, it's 1993....

Because Everything Is About Brett Favre, Always
Reports have Elin Nordegren staying at Favre's Mississippi home while visiting Tiger in sex rehab, which we have yet to prove he's in anyway. If you piggyback a false rumor on another false rumor, does that make it true? [Via]...

Behind The Scenes Of The Classic "Nothin' But Net" Commercial
Larry Bird had to ask "What if I play you for it?" due to Jordan's gambling controversy. Per his contract, MJ could wear whatever he wanted and chose that awful Magic Eye-looking ensemble. And more great anecdotes via CNBC....

Rabbi Phil Jackson Worries About Donald Sterling's Soul
"If you do a good mitzvah, maybe you can eliminate some of those things. Do you think that Sterling's done enough mitzvahs to eliminate some of those? How about all those other incidents that we have on file?" [LAT]...

Natalie Gulbis Would Make A Horrible Tour Guide
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Britches Of Arkansas County: A Rear-Gazing Dispatch From The World Duck Calling Championship
Sam Eifling spent a recent Saturday in Stuttgart, Ark., at the World's Championship Duck Calling Contest and its Duck Gumbo party, a rollicking bumpkin Mardi Gras that has taken for its central rite the practice of slapping that ass....