league Page 256 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wilfried Zaha Has Finally Arrived
Wilfried Zaha was supposed to hit the big time five years ago. At 20 years old, the Crystal Palace striker had already racked up over 100 appearances in the English second tier, and he caught the eye of Manchester United. In 2013, the Red Devils signed him for a reported 10 million pounds....

Chicharito And Pablo Zabaleta Crack Each Other Up With Jokes They Don't Understand
For evidence of the contagious nature of laughter, just watch this video of Spanish-speaking West Ham players Javier Hernández and Pablo Zabaleta telling each other pun-heavy jokes in English. Note how they and you, the viewer, melt into giggly puddles even though they very clearly don’t have the sl...

Sadio Mané Really Fucked Up
Sadio Mané isn’t the sole reason Liverpool failed to beat Everton in a match they completely controlled everywhere except on the scoresheet. You could and probably should blame the referee for awarding Everton an exceptionally soft penalty from which the Toffees scored their only good chance of the ...

They Should Probably Just Give Manchester City The Premier League Title Already
The best big games are clarifying. They’re matches in which the enormity of the moment can turn anyone watching into a fidgeting mess, and in which both teams are given the opportunity to match the game’s magnitude with a peak performance. The moment elevates the performances rather than engulfs it,...

Report: Someone Threw A Pint Of Milk At Jose Mourinho During City-United Dust-Up
Manchester City beat Manchester United 2-1 at Old Trafford yesterday, and apparently, as City were celebrating after the game in the visitors’ locker room, United manager Jose Mourinho took exception to some of the noise—which the visitors then took exception to in hilarious, milky fashion....

It's Teddy Bear Toss Season
The best promotion in hockey—maybe in sports—is back for the holiday season, and nobody does the Teddy Bear Toss quite like the WHL’s Calgary Hitmen. With the first goal Sunday by Vladislav Yeryomenko, Calgary fans littered the ice with 24,605 stuffed animals, to be donated to 60 local agencies and ...

The Champions League Round Of 16 Draw Is So Good
After yet another predictable Champions League group stage, we now get to the good stuff with the start of the knockout rounds. And this year’s Round of 16 looks like it will be great. Just look at these tantalizing matchups:...

Jürgen Klopp Throws Extended Temper Tantrum Over Late Everton Penalty
Wayne Rooney slammed home a late penalty today to bring underdog Everton even with Liverpool, in what would eventually be a 1-1 draw. No penalty has ever been given in the history of soccer without the penalized side being fucking apoplectic, but this one, well, judge for yourself:...

Ugly Soccer Match Becomes Much Better After Dog Invades The Pitch
Macedonian club Vardar hosted Norway’s Rosenborg in blah blah blah oh wow, look at this cute doggy that interrupted the game!...

Liverpool's Attack Is Absolutely Terrifying
Spartak Moscow’s Aleksandr Selikhov isn’t the only keeper who, in the midst of a match against Liverpool, after seeing the ball fly past him for the first or third or fifth time of the day, has found himself sitting there on his haunches in dejection, praying that it had all been some terrible dream...

Leafs Troll Calgary By Honoring Grey Cup Champs Before Game Against Flames
The Toronto Argonauts handed the Calgary Stampeders their second successive Grey Cup loss last week in heartbreaking fashion, returning a Calgary fumble 109 yards for a game-tying touchdown with five minutes remaining, then clinching with a late winning field goal. It was the kind of win that will f...

Cristiano Ronaldo May Be Butt In La Liga, But He's Still Good In The Champions League
Real Madrid superstar Cristiano Ronaldo ranks second in La Liga in shots taken per 90 minutes. Ahead of him is some dude named Andrew Hjulsager, who has made two substitute appearances for Celta Vigo. In that time Hjulsager has amassed 12 minutes and fired off a single shot, giving him a 7.5 shots-p...

David de Gea Beat Arsenal All By Himself
Manchester United beat Arsenal this weekend by a 3-1 scoreline that totally belied the action on the field. United didn’t really deserve to win, in the sense people mean when they say teams that impose their will on their opponent by doing lots of good things while preventing the opposition from doi...

Antoine Griezmann Smacked In A Very Pretty Bicycle Kick Golazo
Atlético Madrid face an uphill battle to qualify for the next round of the Champions League, and though they have a slim chance to advance, they put their best foot forward today, beating Roma 2-0. Antoine Griezmann, who hadn’t scored for Atleti since September, banged in the opener by going all ups...

Roberto Firmino's No-Look Goal Is Cold As Hell
Now this is just about as cheeky as it gets:...

Tony Pulis Has Once Again Lost His Job For Being Too Good At It
When Tony Pulis was named West Brom manager back in January of 2015, the club gave him a single task—one he’s demonstrated for years to be better at accomplishing than practically anyone in English soccer: keep the team in the Premier League, and make sure they stay there. In his just about three ye...

Arsenal Remind Everyone They Can Still Be A Force To Be Reckoned With
I can’t tell if it is an overly harsh reaction to what was a commanding performance in one of the biggest matches of the season so far, or if it is instead a perfectly justifiable reflex in light of this club’s constant yo-yoing between underachieving and ascendency, but the main feeling I was left ...

CFL Team Raises Bar For Touchdown Celebrations
Up north in the CFL playoffs, the Ottawa Redblacks outdid any NFL team this season with a limbo celebration after a first-quarter touchdown by Diontae Spencer, who was the limbo stick after scoring. And one end is a guy named Rhymes!...

Patrice Evra Suspended, Cut From Team After Kicking Fan In The Face
Last week, Marseille defender Patrice Evra roundhoused one of his team’s fans in the face before a Europa League match and was suspended indefinitely by his club while they awaiting UEFA’s official punishment. That official punishment has now come down, and it will end Evra’s season and perhaps care...
