league Page 269 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Better To Be Lucky Than Good
Craig Dawson brought West Brom back equal by carefully exerting mind control over Bournemouth’s Charlie Daniels in order to create a wonderfully-bending deflection goal. He should use that superpower more often....
Claudio Ranieri's Statement After Getting Fired Is Sad And Great
Claudio Ranieri has been fired by Leicester City, and he probably deserved it, even after accomplishing the impossible the year before. That doesn’t mean he isn’t still the best, though, as his statement in light of his firing attests:...
Leicester City Have Fired Title-Winning Manager Claudio Ranieri
Leicester City manager Claudio Ranieri, the architect of the greatest, most shocking, I-still-can’t-believe-it-happened-even-though-it-definitely-did championship victory in the history of sports, has reportedly been fired today....
Premier League Ref: Arsène Wenger Told Me To "Fuck Off"
About a month ago, Arsène Wenger got himself a four-match touchline ban for his behavior in a league game between Arsenal and Burnley. We all knew part of the ban was because Wenger pushed the fourth official after being sent to the stands by the head referee, but we didn’t know what exactly he said...
Yale Shocker: Cosseted Ivy League Deans Hate Scrappy Union Upstarts
Today, more than 300 grad student workers at Yale will vote on whether or not they want to unionize. You may be shocked to learn that the powers that be at this enlightened center of liberal learning are not thrilled!...
Once Again, Atlético Madrid Are All In On Winning The Champions League
Since Diego Simeone took over Atlético Madrid half a decade ago, Madrid’s other club has morphed into a juggernaut of sorts. La Liga has always been a comically imbalanced league, but Atleti spoiled Barcelona and Real Madrid’s party in 2013-14 and became the first “other” team to win the league in a...
Manchester City Beat Monaco 5-3 After Barnstorming Comeback And Now I Need A Cigarette
If you were unaware of the simple, indisputable fact that soccer is the best sport, and you had something else to do in the middle of the afternoon than sit in front of a screen and watch the Champions League today, then I would recommend you track down a replay of the Manchester City-Monaco match t...
Atlético Madrid's Saúl Scores A Banger Against Bayer Leverkusen
Saúl must have something against German teams. A year after ripping apart Bayern Munich with the run of his life, the Atlético midfielder thumped in a beautiful curler against Bayer Leverkusen today:...
Fed-Up Chileans Organize March To Convince Alexis Sánchez To Leave Arsenal
Alexis Sánchez, the pride of Chile, is one of the best soccer players on the planet. He’s also trapped on a bullshit team that kind of sucks, where—amazing goals and dribbles and passes be damned—he’ll probably never win anything of major consequence. To top it off, his bullshit team is balking at p...
Arsène Wenger Says He Will Manage Next Season, But Maybe Not At Arsenal
Arsenal had a big match in the Champions League on Wednesday, which is another way of saying Arsenal were yet again monumentally embarrassed in a huge moment. Arsenal are also right about at the start of the end stretch of their season, which is another way of saying that Arsenal are already out of ...
Norm MacDonald Calls Terrible, Dollar-Store Indoor Football Broadcast<em></em>
If you thought football season was over and are positively jonesing for a fix of the good shit, oh boy, have we got a treat for you. Strap in for the thrills and spills of the Indoor Football League....
Lead Premier League <em></em>Ref Mark Clattenburg Is Taking His Talents To Saudi Arabia
Mark Clattenburg, famous referee/grade-A glory boy who decorates his biceps with tattoos to commemorate big games he called, quit his job as an English Premier League official on Thursday to become the head referee of Saudia Arabia’s football league. ...
Zlatan Ibrahimović Scores Hat Trick, Is Dad<em></em>
Today in Manchester United’s Europa League knockout match against Saint-Étienne, Zlatan Ibrahimović scored about the most unremarkable hat trick you’re likely to see. A poorly taken free kick that deflected in, a tap-in off a rebound, and a penalty. But the goals, bland as they were, aren’t the poin...
Alexis Sánchez Does Two Bad Things, Saves Self By Doing Good Thing
Arsenal’s Alexis Sánchez had a chance to level up the game against Bayern Munich with a penalty. He took a bad one, and it was saved. Oops! Thankfully, the ball bounced kindly into his path for an easy rebound. Only he botched that with a whiffed shot. Oops again! The soccer gods smiled on Alexis, t...
Arjen Robben Teaches Arsenal Why You Can't Let Him Cut In On His Left Foot
Yes, everyone knows it’s coming. And everyone also knows that the whole point is that even though everyone knows it’s coming, it’s still impossible to stop. And yet it remains hard to watch a team allow Arjen Robben to get onto his left foot and do what he always does, as he’s just done to Arsenal:...
Ángel Di María And PSG Kick Barcelona's Dicks Clean Off
For years Paris Saint-Germain have spared no expense in their efforts to realize their dream of winning the Champions League. For years they’ve failed, putting out attack-minded teams that crush domestic foes in Ligue 1 but consistently come up short in the competition they really want to win. And w...
Leicester City Are Having A Garbage Season
The fairy tale of last season was real. Leicester City—such a preposterously unlikely underdog that even the instinctive Cinderella comparison feels like a woefully insufficient metaphor for the sheer absurdity of a small, recently promoted club beating Manchester United and Chelsea and Arsenal and ...
It Is Time For All NBA D-Leaguers To Be Paid A Living Wage
The NBA announced an extensive multiyear partnership agreement between the D-League and a popular sports drink company this morning, which will see the popular sports drink company’s logo on all basketballs, jerseys, and court side signage, as well as the league being renamed for the 2017-18 season ...
Sadio Mané Steamrolled Tottenham All By Himself
Lately, the soccer-watching world has been in the midst of a (quite understandable) inquest into the mysterious affliction affecting Liverpool in 2017. It seemed like once the calendar switched, the club that had most convincingly staked its claim as the Premier League’s second-best team this season...