league Page 293 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

West Ham Fan Keeps Word, Gets Ass Tattoo To Commemorate Win Over Arsenal
Arsenal, this year’s sexy pick to Do Some Things in England’s Premier League this year, kicked off their campaign yesterday at home against West Ham. What follows is a story in two tweets:...

Liverpool Beat Stoke Thanks To Lightning Strike From Coutinho
Philippe Coutinho’s rocket from outside the box proved to be the deciding goal in today’s 1-0 Liverpool win over Stoke, and is more likely than not to hold up as the Premiership’s golazo of the opening week....

League One Team Accidentally Scores, Allows Opponent To Score On Them
That’s the manager of Doncaster Rovers explaining why his team intentionally allowed a player from the opposing team to dribble down the field and score. ...

Jose Mourinho Is In Midseason Form As Chelsea Barely Survive Swansea
Chelsea opened their Premier League title defense today with a topsy turvy 2-2 draw against Swansea City. As you can see, Jose Mourinho ain’t too happy about it. Our staff of amateur lip readers concurs that he’s dropping a “Fuck off Michael!”—directed towards referee Michael Oliver—but you could ma...

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The First Goal Of The Premier League Season Is ... An Own Goal
Here it is, the day we’ve all been waiting for: the return of the EPL. Manchester United-Tottenham is our opener, and though Spurs started brightly, all their good work was undone thanks to a terrible pass by Nabil Bentaleb. It wasn’t the prettiest season-christening goal, but we’ll take it....

Minor League Game Cancelled Due To Distracting Circus Tent
Tonight’s Florida State League game between the Clearwater Threshers and Tampa Yankees at George Steinbrenner Field was cancelled tonight due to a distracting circus tent behind the outfield fence. ...

The Best Of The Best: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 3
You’ve made it to the third and final installment of our Premier League preview, and what lies below is a rundown of what we at Deadspin consider the six (6) least bad teams in all of England’s top flight. This thirdish of the league is important because this is where teams are fighting for all-impo...

The Uncomfortable Middle: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 2
For the American sports fan, following soccer means a reorientation about what constitutes success. With the success of the top teams reinforced by Champions League appearances and an enhanced global profile, there is a virtuous cycle to being good that makes it even harder to break into the top. At...

Starting From The Bottom: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 1
PREMIER LEAGUE BACK....

Some Guy Simulated 1,000 Seasons Into The Future In <i>Football Manager</i>
Everybody knows that the true joy of playing Football Manager is getting a decade or so into the future and seeing the new Messis and Ronaldos and Mourinhos and Guardiolas come and go. Reddit user “Lorf_Yimzo” took this to its logical conclusion, setting up a save in England, simulating into the yea...

No Hops-Having Keeper Lets Pass Bounce Over His Head For An Own Goal
You had three options here, goalkeeper: 1) run out to the incoming back pass and meet it right after it bounces, 2) step back a few steps and take the ball off your chest after it took that towering though perfectly predictable skip off the turf, 3) loiter around in the box and find yourself standin...

José Mourinho Is Shitting On Managers Again, Which Means Soccer's Back!
We’ve seen preseason play and preseason brawls, and now that José Mourinho has broken out the ol’ charcoal grill and laid on a couple thick slabs of Arsène Wenger and Manuel Pellegrini tenderloin, the aroma of preseason beef means the Premier League season is just around the corner....

Minor League Baseball Promotion Turns Into Slapstick Routine
Sometimes minor league baseball promotions are weird and bad, but sometimes they are weird and good. I say this one, from a recent West Michigan Whitecaps game, falls into the latter category. I say this because I enjoy watching children fall....

Minor League Team Loses After HR Hitter Fails To Touch Home Plate
There are bad losses, then there are bad losses, and somewhere well past that are losses where your ninth-inning go-ahead home run doesn’t count because you didn’t touch home plate after rounding the bases....


Cuttino Mobley Has A Gray Beard, And Honestly, It's Working For Him
Back in 2008, Cuttino Mobley retired from the NBA after discovering he had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy in his heart. Since then, he’s grown a gray beard, so he looks ancient even though he’s actually 39 years old....

Minor League Team Finally Explains Why It Apologized For Corey Feldman
Minor league promotions are a mixed bag. For every gloriously bizarre event like “bring your badger to the ballpark” or whatever, there’s a 4-H Night or a grass giveaway or a sad appearance by a washed-up celebrity. Sunday’s appearance by Corey Feldman at the State College (Penn.) Spikes appeared to...

Marcus Smart Leaves Game With Hand Injury
Celtics guard Marcus Smart left tonight’s Summer League game against Portland with a painful-looking—and sounding, given his screams—hand injury that the team reports left him with multiple dislocated fingers and a trip to the X-ray room....

Raheem Sterling Is Making Bank Because England Sucks
Raheem Sterling is already, at just 20 years of age, a damn good player, with every chance to become great. This obviously and understandably makes him a very valuable asset, as his now official English-record transfer and new salary attest. What he isn’t is £180,000 a week good. His mix of current ...