league Page 311 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jonathan Soriano's Crushing Shot Scores From Halfway Line
Listening to the bass-heavy "thoom" of this blast from today's Red Bull Salzburg-Ajax match is just as satisfying as watching the ball fly over half the field, hang just over the Ajax keeper's fingers, and nestle softly into the back of the net....
Holy Shit, Everyone Look At This Golazo From Ricardo Quaresma
Portuguese side FC Porto are playing German club Eintracht Frankfurt today in the Europa League. And that doesn't matter at all. They're playing on Thursday night in soccer's NIT, and every single player, coach, ref, and fan would rather be somewhere else, and what the fuck! ...
Could A Simple New Rule Stop Refs From Ruining Big Soccer Games?
We're only a quarter of the way through this round of the Champions League, but by far the two best ties—Barcelona vs. Manchester City and Bayern Munich vs. Arsenal—are all but technically over. And while neither result is necessarily surprising, it's unfortunate that both matches turned on the cont...
Who Are The Best Dribblers In Champions League? A Ranking, 1 To 160
Dribbling is the most visually striking aspect of soccer. The excitement in the game flows from both nearly and actually made goals, and the beauty from the intricate passing and telekinetic movement of a true team. But from a strictly visual perspective, there is no clearer demonstration of mastery...
Minor League Goalie Fined For Tripping Mascot
That's goalie Mark Guggenberger of the CHL's Allen Americans, slewfooting poor Missouri Mavericks mascot Mac. Man-on-horse violence is frowned upon in the civilized world, so Guggenberger has been fined an undisclosed sum. [Puck Daddy]...
Arsenal Keeper Red-Carded, Leaves Pitch Making Vigorous Wanking Motion
Arsenal played defending Champions League winners FC Bayern today in the tournament's round of 16. On paper, the Gunners seemed overmatched, so much so that we asked if the Premier League's second-place team were capable of even giving the Germans a game. Turns out, they were for a while!...
Can One Of The Premier League's Finest Even Give FC Bayern A Match?
Today in the Champions League round of 16, Arsenal are playing FC Bayern, who won the competition—and everything else—last year. This matters....
Zlatan Ibrahimović Scores Outrageous Champions League Goal
French champions Paris Saint-Germain were visiting German side Bayer Leverkusen today in the Champions League Round of 16. We're not going to leave you in suspense here: PSG had an easy go of it. ...
Man City Learned From Barcelona, But Can The Student Kill The Master?
We've finally arrived on the day of the Champions League's return, just a short time away from one of the most intriguing round of 16 matchups in recent memory: Barcelona vs. Manchester City....
Can Women's Pro Soccer Work In America? An Investigation, In Sweden
Originally published in Howler Magazine, which you can purchase here. Follow the magazine on Twitter, @whatahowler. Photo by Ryu Voelkel....
How The Transfer Window Makes Us Joyless <em>Football Manager</em> Drones
If you're still irrationally hoping, praying that one or two of those impossibly tantalizing rumors—David Luiz to Barça? Cavani to Chelsea?—comes true to legitimize the hours you spent throughout the month mashing the refresh button on The Daily Mail's transfer gossip page just as soon as you had fu...
A Lot Of Sleepy Bears Like To Hibernate Underneath Lake Tahoe Homes
Hey, everyone, we all need to move to Lake Tahoe immediately. The reason we are all moving to Lake Tahoe is because every year, more than 100 sleepy bears hibernate under the houses of the people who live there. Adorable, sleepy bears! 100 of 'em! ...
Check Out Daniel Sturridge's Outrageous Rainbow Shot Golazo
It's not every day a center back pings a perfect long ball over the back four for an assist, but then again it's not every day that a striker's first-time, high-arching shot actually finds the back of the net. Did I mention that he wasn't even looking?...
Juan Mata Is Signed. What Will Manchester United Do With Him?
We knew something had to give at Manchester United, what with the team's huge mounds of money begging to fill the huge holes in the squad, but it's still a bit of a surprise that the deal in hand is for Chelsea's Juan Mata, bought for a reported £37M. A bona fide world-class number 10 is a nice addi...
"Diehard" Soccer Fans Pretend To Know Players Who Don't Exist
Well, well, maybe Americans aren't the only ones who don't know anything about soccer. ...
Sad Manchester United Allow Elderly Samuel Eto'o To Score Hat Trick
No one would have imagined this before the season started: Chelsea demolishes Manchester United 3-1, and the only remotely surprising thing is that Samuel Eto'o—a thousand years old, a chronic misfirer—was the man who knocked in the goals. And yet that's how it is....
Little League Coach Sues Own Player For Dumb, Dumb Reason
Alan Beck, a chiropractor/little league coach in Lakeside, Calif., is suing a 14-year-old player for tossing his helmet in celebration after scoring a game-winning run. That helmet struck Beck and tore his Achilles tendon. ...
Video Evidence That Americans Don't Know Anything About Soccer
We're at a strange junction in American soccer fandom. The sport is more popular and visible here than ever, but is still pretty niche. So when this guy decided to ask some college kids fairly basic soccer questions, the results were wildly inconsistent....