light Page 104 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
If Mesut Özil Keeps Scoring Like This, The World Better Watch Out
In Arsenal’s blowout win against Ludogorets yesterday, Mesut Özil scored three goals in the second half. I repeat: Mesut “I Live To Pass And I Never, Ever Shoot So Don’t Ask Me To” Özil scored a hat trick yesterday in the Champions League, increasing his season tally to six goals in 10 games. This i...
Lionel Messi Must Really Hate Pep Guardiola And England
If there have been two criticisms that have followed Lionel Messi around though his career like yappy little dogs nipping at his ankles—too insignificant to be an actual threat, and just persistent enough to register as a minor annoyance—they have been these: First, he had the good fortune of playin...
Arsenal Are Out Here Just Embarrassing These Jamokes
This is the happy time in every Arsenal season. Everyone is healthy, their world-class players are playing up to their reputations, their really good players are playing out of their minds, and their title dreams still seem eminently, thrillingly tangible. In today’s Champions League match against L...
Dmitry Orlov Flipped Matt Duchene
It is not often we start the morning blog march with a hip check. But, as T.J. Oshie mused of Dmitry Orlov’s hit that sent Matt Duchene tumbling helmet-over-skates, “that was one of the cooler hits that I’ve ever seen.”...
I Can't Stop Watching These Two Soccer Dummies Flop At The Same Time
Never has an eskimo kiss caused so much imaginary pain....
Nicolas Batum Totally Blows Easy Buzzer-Beater
Before we get too far into this blog, a caveat: It’s the preseason, so this failed buzzer-beater means exactly dick. That said, it was very funny....
Cubs Take 3-0 Lead On Javier Báez Steal Of Home
The Cubs continued rolling tonight in Game 1 of the NLCS as Javier Báez drove in Jason Heyward with a double and then stole home in a less-than-graceful manner. It’s 3-0, and it’s still the third inning....
The Magic Of Football
The ball always finds its home, and that home is never in the arms of an Indiana football player. ...
Danny DeKeyser Scored From Center Ice On A Fluke Bounce
The Lightning beat the Red Wings 6-4 in the season opener for both teams, but c’mon, it’s October, no need to sweat win-loss records. Now is the time for fluke goals....
Daniel Murphy Stomps Down Opening Run
After Daniel Murphy stole second, Danny Espinosa sent a single to right field. Murphy tried Josh Reddick, whose throw reached Yasmani Grandal too late to get the out. Murphy then made sure he touched ‘em all and stamped down his run....
Chicago Blackhawks Kick Their Season Off With Boneheaded Own Goal
The Blackhawks were always going to lose here. Down two goals with fewer than 30 seconds left in the game usually means certain death. You don’t have to make it any worse by casually scooting the puck into your own net, my dudes....
![First Overall Pick Auston Matthews Scores Twice In First Five Minutes Of NHL Career [Update: He Scored Two More]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pnawdgznmnedvfkk9on8.jpg)
First Overall Pick Auston Matthews Scores Twice In First Five Minutes Of NHL Career [Update: He Scored Two More]
Auston Matthews took the ice for the first time in his NHL career tonight against Ottawa, and immediately started scoring. Ten minutes into the first period, he popped up in the right place during a goalmouth scramble, and slipped his shot in....
Javy Baez Only Makes Spectacular Plays
The Giants finally remembered how to play offense and hit the baseball tonight, but Cubs second baseman Javy Baez is doing everything he can to shut them down. Baez only plays baseball at one million miles per hour, and he attacks approaching grounders like Jim Harbaugh attacks glasses of milk. ...
Amateur Soccer Man Secures His Spot In Heaven With This Majestic Goal
“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle,” Jesus Christ once remarked, “than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” He continued, “But if a soccer man doth line up and crack a sweet shot on goal, and find himself denied by the crossbar, yet resist the weapons of Lucifer as d...
Hitters Still Can't Touch Madison Bumgarner But A Pitcher Just Knocked One Of His Balls To Fiji
If failure is success in Silicon Valley, then Madison Bumgarner is a champion tonight. The Giants ace, last seen choking the life out of the Mets, is laying an egg in an must-win against the Cubs. He came into the game with a streak of 23 straight scoreless innings in elimination games, but managed ...
Hey, Cristiano Ronaldo Scored A Pretty Cool Goal!
Well, well, would you look at this. Global icon, all-time soccer great, and technological marvel (seriously, how did they make this android so convincingly human that it takes a solid 10 minutes or so of listening to him before you realize he was “born” in an evil scientist’s underground bunker?) Cr...
NFL Warns Teams Not To Post Highlights Online, Then Posts Lots Of Highlights Online
The NFL issued a stern warning to its 32 teams last week that they should limit the amount of original content they create for social media using NFL footage. Teams, the league reminded them, are essentially restricted to reposting highlights the NFL has already posted on its official social media a...
Female High School Kicker Drops The Boom On Kick Returner
It’s been a good season for kickers knocking the hell out of kick returners. Joining the parade today is Kelly Macnamara, a kicker for North Penn High School in Pennsylvania....
I Want To Hug And Kiss Derek Carr's Touchdown Passes
There are a lot of ways for a quarterback to become famous. You can be the crazy gunslinger; you can be the big-brained maestro; you can be the giant fuck who is impossible to sack; you can be the, uh, guy who ran into a butt. Through the first few weeks of this season, Raiders quarterback Derek Car...