light Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bad Soccer Manager Suspended Five Months For Headbutting The Everloving Shit Out Of Opposing Coach<em></em>
Giancarlo Favarin manages Italian third-tier club Lucchese. During a match against Alessandria on Sunday, he found himself in a spat with an assistant coach on the opposing side. In an effort to settle the dispute, Favarin rammed his massive, shiny forehead straight through the assistant’s nose:...
Damn Paul Millsap For Ruining This Sweet Nikola Jokic Pass
The experience of watching the Denver Nuggets play basketball is often reduced to alternating between two distinct yet equally powerful emotions. The first is religious ecstasy, sparked through witnessing the soft god Nikola Jokic in the act of miraculous ball distribution. The other is anguish, bro...
Just Several Frightening Seconds Of Zion Williamson Gobbling Up An Opposing Ball-Handler Like A Delicious Turkey Dinner
The disgusting Duke Blue Devils worked over Notre Dame Monday night, behind another ridiculous performance from Zion Williamson. Young Zion scored 26 points in 33 minutes, on just 12 total shots, and pulled down nine rebounds, and led the game with four blocks. In general he was just way too much fo...
Grizzlies Explore New Depths Of Misery Via Excruciating Kyle Anderson Meltdown
The Memphis Grizzlies spent the late stages of their Monday night home game against the Nuggets barfing away what had been a 25-point lead. Denver grabbed its first lead of the entire game with under a minute left in the fourth quarter; the teams traded buckets over the following 15 seconds (includi...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Plank Fight
Sun Tzu probably had some quote about using the weapons you have available to you to defeat your opponent on the battlefield or whatever, and while I don’t know about any of that apocryphal bullshit, I can say with 100 percent certainty that these two ruddy English lads embody the spirit of resource...
This Pro Bowl Play Broke Me
The Pro Bowl transcends criticism, or praise. (The latter transcendence is academic, because no one has ever praised the Pro Bowl, not even, I don’t think, the players who are selected for it.) It it bulletproof to all disparagement because that disparagement necessarily takes place on a plane the g...
Jason Witten Broke The Damn Pro Bowl Trophy
Here’s the most Pro Bowl shit ever: Jason Witten broke the Pro Bowl trophy while trying to award it to AFC team members Patrick Mahomes and Jamal Adams....
Corey Brewer Celebrates Two-Handed Flush With A Kick To Torrey Craig's Head
In a 126-110 losing effort against the Denver Nuggets, Corey Brewer proved to be one of the bright spots for the Philadelphia 76ers on Saturday. The 32-year-old wing put up 20 points, six rebounds and secured four steals in his 32 minutes of action. But his most impressive highlight was the one tech...
Sheffield United's Billy Sharp Celebrates Goal With Mr. Socko
Despite the best efforts of Norwich keeper Tim Krul to disrupt Billy Sharp’s focus before his penalty kick, the Sheffield United striker scored from the spot to give his time a 1-0 lead to end the first half of play. Sharp, one of the most prolific scorers at the senior English league level, ran ove...
Sevilla Fail To Score On Counter-Attack Despite Six-On-One Advantage
In the 65th minute Sevilla’s La Liga match against Levante, the home squad appeared to have an all-but-guaranteed goal. Sevilla took the botched corner kick from their opponents and immediately started on the break towards their goal. Pablo Sarabia, who began the counter, made a quick pass to Wissam...
Kenneth Faried Hustled The Raptors Into Oblivion
Kenneth Faried entered the league as an undersized, but explosive, power forward whose tenacity on the glass, high-flying dunks and absurd athleticism seemed to make up for the fact that he didn’t have many other discernible skills on the court. As his skills diminished in value and power—coupled wi...
Steven Adams Unleashes World's Worst Euro-Step
Steven Adams is a big heavy metal-looking Kiwi monster who does cool basketball things all the time, and this season he’s played his way into serious All-Star consideration by being efficient as shit and co-anchoring one of the NBA’s best defenses. Mostly he’s stayed pretty chill through all this, b...
Some Peon Tries To Hurt Neymar, Gets Humiliated By Neymar
About an hour into Paris Saint-Germain’s Coupe de France match against Strasbourg yesterday, Neymar was clowning on his inferiors with his imperial dribbling skills, as is his wont. Strasbourg midfielder Moataz Zemzemi must’ve taken Neymar’s casual demonstration of superiority personally, because he...
All Hail The Rafael Nadal Banana Shot
Rafael Nadal gored YouTuber Stefanos Tsitsipas 6-2, 6-4, 6-0 today. Their Australian Open semifinal match took just 1:46, but in that span the winner erected a monument to one of tennis’s historic shots: the Rafa banana forehand. Above is as pristine a specimen as has ever appeared in nature....
Frustrated Young Knick Allonzo Trier Slides Into Twitter DMs To Defend His Effort
The Knicks dropped a narrow one at home to the Houston Rockets Wednesday night. Afterward, several Knicks fans, already all aboard the Zion Williamson tank, tweeted their gratitude for some extremely butt point-of-attack defense that let Eric Gordon waltz into a game-winning three-pointer. Here’s th...
P.J. Tucker Randomly Decides The Ball Has Cooties, Refuses To Touch It
I defy you to make sense of this sequence, from late in Houston’s road win over the lousy Knicks. The Rockets were up three after an Allonzo Trier free throw with 59 seconds on the clock. The Knicks pressed up the court to deny the inbound to James Harden, who went for another 61 points in the game....
Young USMNT Hotshot Timothy Weah Just Got To Celtic And He's Already Scoring With Ease
Timothy Weah—18-year-old attacking dynamo for the USMNT and Paris Saint-Germain—recently arrived in Glasgow for a half-season loan with Celtic after a few months spent on the fringes of one of the biggest clubs in the world. Earlier this year, he talked about wanting to spend the first half of the y...
Fox Tried To Save Us From Seeing Michael Thomas's Butt
On the first drive of the Rams-Saints game, the broadcast booth at FOX sprung into action to prevent the youth of America from seeing something ugly on a football field: Michael Thomas’s ass. ...
Who Cares If Buddy Hield Double-Dribbled On This Incredible Buzzer-Beater?
Despite playing like total ass for almost the entirety of the evening, the Kings recovered from an 11-point deficit with 6:21 left in the fourth quarter to only be down one point against the Pistons on Saturday. With 3.4 seconds left in the game, Sacramento guard Bogdan Bogdanovic inbounded the ball...
Ben Simmons Delivered An Extra Defender To Jimmy Butler And Then Went Full-Jay Cutler In Loss To Thunder
The end of the Thunder-Sixers game was an amazing example of some back-and-forth bone-headedness that could only be accomplished with these underachieving franchises....