light Page 71 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Game-Ending Five-Lateral Kickoff Return Spoiled By Literally A Miracle
Boy have I got a highlight for you, my friends. Here’s the setting: the St. Francis de Sales Knights are down a point to the Lima Senior Spartans after Lima kicker Cole Miracle (I swear I’m not making this up) knocked in a go-ahead field goal. There are three seconds left on the clock, and Lima is k...
Sad Brady
Our pal Tom just needs to drink more of his special water. ...
Harry Kane's Stoppage-Time Goal Sends England To The World Cup
Of course it had to be Harry Kane, England’s captain on the night, the so-called “one-year wonder” who has been defying skeptics with an unending deluge of goals for about three years now, his home nation’s one true world-class player, who came to England’s rescue tonight. After a fairly drab displa...
This Is Some Extremely Rude Shit To Do In A Basketball Game
It’s hard not to feel bad for Andre Roberson, a professional NBA player with a shot so bad that opponents will openly laugh at him during a playoff game. ...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Guy Catching Apples With His Face
Our sports highlight of the day comes to us from a rowdy duo who no doubt wasted a lot of good apples in the pursuit of making this highly enjoyable video:...
Neymar Free Kick Golazo Puts PSG Up Early
Neymar delivered a free kick golazo that put PSG up 1-0 on Bordeaux less than five minutes into the match. He followed it up moments later by setting up Edinson Cavani for a second goal. Drama? No drama here. ...
Bad Soccer Teams Should Stop Shooting Their Own Dicks Off By Playing From The Back
Hey, shitty teams. A humble request: How about you stop giving up the easiest goals imaginable, making enormous errors in some misguided effort to play “beautiful soccer” and build up play from the back, and instead just lump the ball forward when facing your betters? This scourge must be stopped....
Basel Player Turns Into The Flash, Jets Down Entire Length Of Pitch And Scores
I don’t know much about Dimitri Oberlin other than he is a forward who plays for Basel and he has the kind of unlimited stamina and electric speed that can only be compared to superheroes. Here he is demonstrating this with a jaw-dropping run in yesterday’s Champions League match against Benfica:...
76ers Already In Midseason Form
“The process never ends,” said 76ers GM Bryan Colangelo during media day on Monday, and while those words sounded perhaps a bit conservative at the time, now that we’ve gotten a glimpse at his team in practice, Colangelo could be right....
Check Out This Romanian Soccer Dude's Boomerang-Curved Golazo
The only way Claudiu Bumba, winger for Romania’s Concordia Chianjna, was going to overcome the terrible angle and distance from which he decided to pop a shot in today’s match against Dinamo București was if he put a truly insane amount of curl on the ball to get it to fly into the far corner. Which...
Dez Bryant's Superhero Touchdown Delighted The ESPN Deportes Announcing Team
Dez Bryant’s 15-yard touchdown catch that saw him singlehandedly beating half the Cardinals defense gave the Cowboys a seven-point lead and gave ESPN Deportes announcers Álvaro Martín and Raúl Allegre the ride of their lives....
Oumar Niasse, Everton's Outcast, May Have Saved His Manager's Skin
Everton manager Ronald Koeman has his team all fucked up. Going into this weekend’s game against Bournemouth, his squad had lost its last three league games by a combined score of 9-0. They were headed for another loss on Saturday, until Oumar Niasse, the man who was eagerly thrown out into the cold...
Sparta Rotterdam Keeper Saves Deluge Of Point-Blank Shots By Morphing Into Spider-Man
Soccer highlights generally depict the cool things players do to beat goalkeepers en route to scoring, but sometimes it’s the goalkeeper himself who plays the hero and earns himself immortalization in the form of a breathlessly titled Youtube video. No keeper deserves this treatment more than Sparta...
Eagles Beat Giants With Rookie Kicker’s 61-Yard Field Goal With No Time Left
Rookie kicker Jake Elliott—a fifth-round Bengals pick who was signed off their practice squad by the Eagles after Week 1—nailed a 61-yard field goal at the gun today to give Philly a 27-24 win....
Bryce Harper Will Cruelly Reclaim His Outfield Spot From Young Victor Robles
The Washington Post reported today that Bryce Harper will be activated Monday after missing 40 games due to an injured WHOA HEY VICTOR ROBLES DID SOMETHING....
Marcus Cooper Fumbles Blocked Field Goal Return At The One-Yard Line
One of the weirdest plays of the NFL season so far just happened at the end of today’s first half in Chicago, when the Bears’ Marcus Cooper returned a blocked Steelers field goal all the way to the one-yard line. Cooper slowed up right at the end of his journey, and the special teamer suffered the c...
Tom Brady Clowned By A Jadeveon Clowney Pick-Six
For most defensive linemen, an interception return is a recipe for some hilarious slapstick, but Jadeveon Clowney sprints right past all your #fatguyTD jokes. In the second quarter of the Texans game against the Patriots, a blind-side hit on Tom Brady turned into a gift for Clowney, who swiftly took...
Penn State Stays Undefeated With Touchdown Pass On Game's Final Play
Iowa’s dreams of upsetting Penn State came crashing down as Trace McSorley completed a 65-yard two-minute drill with a touchdown pass to Juwan Johnson on fourth down and with no time remaining on the clock....
Sparty No
We appreciate LJ Scott’s interpretative dance themed around ESPN’s ombudsman, but we feel Michigan State fans would have appreciated him performing it outside of live game action....
The Brewers Hit Two Clutch Dingers To Stay In The Thick Of The Wild Card Chase
The Milwaukee Brewers are the losingest National League team to still be mathematically alive for the postseason, clinging to the very bottom rung of the Wild Card chase with just seven games to go. ESPN gives them just a 16 percent chance of edging into that final spot. It’s all do-or-die from here...