light Page 77 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wayne Rooney Scores Brilliant Goal In First Game Since Returning To Everton
Wayne Rooney, who made his mark at Everton in grand fashion at the age of 16, is back with his boyhood club after having spent the last 11 years of his career at Manchester United. Today, in a preseason friendly against Gor Mahia in Tanzania, Rooney scored a goal that, while not exactly a rival to h...

White Sox Trade Ace José Quintana To—Oh Fucking Come On
The Chicago White Sox announced today that they have traded 28-year-old ace pitcher José Quintana to the fucking Chicago Cubs, who are basically worse than the St. Louis Cardinals at this point....

White Sox Writer Believes Team's First Half Was Not As Bad As It Could Have Been
The Chicago White Sox are 38-49; their last game before the All-Star break was a 10-0 loss to the Colorado Rockies in which they were two outs away from getting no-hit in the most hitter-friendly ballpark in the majors. The team is last in the AL Central. Pitcher José Quintana is on the trading bloc...

Here's 20 Seconds Of Profoundly Terrible Soccer
Remember this 1993 Premier League match between Queens Park Rangers and Manchester City? Me neither, but an Italian magazine broke it down and deemed a portion of it as the worst 20 seconds of soccer ever....

Lightning Take The Cowards' Way Out On Tampa Confederate Monument
There are two schools of thought on asking sports teams to weigh in on political issues. On the one hand, who cares: They’re just sports teams. But on the other hand, it’s really not that hard to give a bit of public support for basic decency. That’s why the Tampa Bay Lightning come off looking pret...

Byron Buxton Scored From First Base On A Single Because He Is Superhuman
Here is a video of Minnesota’s Byron Buxton, who is ridiculously fast, scoring from first on a sharply hit grounder that never even made it to the gap in left center:...

Lonzo Ball's Summer League Debut Was A Disaster
Lonzo Ball’s much-anticipated professional basketball debut left Lakers chief Magic Johnson shaking his head, as the UCLA product went 2-15 while tripping over his feet and looking incredibly slow in a 96-93 overtime loss to the Clippers. Time for some lowlights!...

Poor Bastard Whiffs On Rafael Nadal's Second Serve
World No. 34 Karen Khachanov fought his way through two tough matches in Wimbledon’s early rounds (a total of nine sets, three of which were tiebreaks) only to earn himself a third-round date with Rafael Nadal....

Miloš Teodosić And His Slick Passes Are Coming To The Clippers
Serbian point guard Miloš Teodosić, who has spent his professional career in Europe and has periodically dazzled American audiences during international tournaments, is coming to the NBA. According to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski, the 30-year-old guard has agreed to a two-year deal with the Los Angeles...

White Sox Allow Rajai Davis To Steal As Many Bases As He Pleases
The Chicago White Sox finished up a three-game trip to Oakland with a 7-4 loss. Mike Pelfrey didn’t pitch well and Avisail Garcia went 0-for-4, only looking at nine pitches in the process. However, catcher Kevan Smith had the worst night of the bunch, as he allowed former World Series home run-hitte...

This Stellar Play By Dustin Pedroia Deserves Multiple Viewings
On Monday night, while you were getting drunk for the fourth night in a row, Dustin Pedroia made an unbelievable play in Arlington that saved Craig Kimbrel’s ass and helped the Red Sox get a win in extras....

Mexico's Marco Fabián Scored A Beautiful, Futile Golazo <em></em>
In the 89th minute of the Confederations Cup semifinal between Mexico and Germany, Mexico substitute Marco Fabián, while standing midway between the halfway line and the penalty box, received a pass off a free kick, stepped up to the ball, and clobbered the hell out of it....

Don't Make Aaron Judge Angry
Aaron Judge, the Yankees’ extremely large tater-masher, mashed his 27th tater of the year against the White Sox last night. If you pay close attention to this video of the dinger being donged, you’ll notice Judge staring into the right-field stands as he rounds first base:...

Portugal's Horrendous Penalty Shootout Performance Sends Chile To Confed Cup Final
After a lively though scoreless 120 minutes of Confederations Cup soccer between Portugal and Chile, the South Americans advanced to the final on penalty kicks thanks in part to Claudio Bravo but mostly to Portugal’s penalty takers, who were shockingly bad....

Rockies Reliever Adam Ottavino Really Crapped It Up Yesterday
Rockies relief pitcher Adam Ottavino entered the seventh inning of Sunday’s game with two outs, two men on, and a two-run lead. He walked Dodgers second baseman Austin Barnes, and then everything fell apart....

Blight Sox: Chyron Edition
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Victor Oladipo Has To Fight This Child
You’ve encountered enough blog posts with video clips of NBA players goofing around at a basketball camp to know how this is supposed to go. A small child sizes up Victor Oladipo just beyond the three-point line, and you start to get ready for the child to have his shot swatted into the next court o...

Clint Dempsey 94th-Minute Goal Earns Draw For Short-Handed Seattle
Clint Dempsey silenced a Portland crowd—briefly, before they picked up a chant telling him to fuck himself—with a stoppage-time goal that earned his Seattle Sounders a 2-2 draw in their rivalry matchup against the Timbers....

White Sox Pitcher Gives Up First Career Dingers To Three A's Rookies
James Shields took the mound today for the sad-sack White Sox, and in the course of pitching three brutal innings gave up a two-run dinger to Matt Olson, another two-run dinger to Franklin Barreto, and a solo dong to Jaycob Brugman. Olson, Barreto, and Brugman are rookies. It’s wild enough to give u...

Klay Thompson Rim-Checks Himself To Hell
Show them the skills that have made you a rich and famous basketball man, Klay:...