like Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There Is A Pau Gasol Impersonator For Hire At A Bargain $600 Per Hour
We give you Michael Fanter, a guy who has kind of made a name for himself by kind of looking like Pau Gasol....

Ryan Howard Makes A Cranberries Reference
Ryan Howard, on his bum ankle: "Those kinds of things linger, like the Cranberries."...

10 Extremely Biblical-Looking Footballers
Of course, most of the nation will spend the weekend embroiled in sprouts, drinking heavily, and most definitely not sitting down to rewatch Mel Gibson's incredibly inaccurate and rather over-the-top remake of The Life of Brian....

Tonight's NHL 24/7 Premiere: "You'll Have To Hide The Kids"
Tonight is the premiere of HBO's straightforwardly-titled series 24/7 Penguins/Capitals: Road to the Winter Classic. Want to know exactly which expletives Bruce Boudreau spat at his Caps during their 7-0 loss to the Rangers on Sunday? Now you will....

Now You Can Be A Stalkery Fan Of Any Deadspin Writer You Desire
So in addition to the site's own Facebook page, where horny, TOTALLYREAL ladies named Alexia randomly hook-up with eager commenters, you now can personalize your Deadspin allegiance based on each writer....

NBA Players, In Science-y Cartoon Form
Here's what NBA players look like with their statistics visually translated to physical characteristics. Click around for a minute, you'll be there an hour. [Hoopism]...

Chris Bosh Unlikely To Enjoy Chris Bosh's New Theme Song
Are you struggling to find a phrase to describe a product you bought that was supposed to be really good, but thus far is just disappointing? Maybe it was falsely advertised as top-of-the-line? It's "like a Bosh." [The Basketball Jones]...

Stories That Don't Suck: David Halberstam On Maurice Lucas And The Powers That Be Scared Shitless
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: the late Maurice Lucas, menacing the whistle right out of a ref's mouth....

Eddie Belfour's Mask Denies Responsibility For <em>Hell Freezes Over</em>
This slideshow about goalie masks is surprisingly educational! Sample: "So resonant was this mask that it inspired the punk band Chixdiggit's 1996 paean to lost love, "(I Feel Like) Gerry Cheevers (I Got Stitch Marks on My Heart)." [NYT]...

The One Where Mark Sanchez Unconstipates Himself With A Spoon
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business. (PHOTO: via Bart Hubbuch's Twitter)...

Stories That Don't Suck: The Epic Tale Of America's Greatest Ping-Pong Hustler
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: newly minted Man Booker recipient Howard Jacobson on ping-pong's "boldest adventurer," Marty Reisman....

10 Important Lessons To Take From Football Sex Scandals
It's enormously important for the moral growth of the nation that everyone reflects on the recent sex scandals—perhaps look long and hard into a nearby mirror and think about what you have gained from these tawdry goings-on?...

Watch And Hear Aaron Cook Fracture His Fibula
Joey Votto broke Colorado Rockies pitcher Aaron Cook's fibula last night on a hard liner and it's really something to hear. Again and again. And again and again and again. [HardballTalk, video via MLB.com]...

Stories That Don't Suck: USA Basketball's 12 Angry Men
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: The 1972 Olympic team, still bitter about losing to the Soviets....

Stories That Don't Suck: The NFL's Angry Liberal
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Dave Meggyesy, linebacker, author, poisoner of our young youth, union man....

Fräulein Soccer Player Treats Other Fräulein Soccer Player In Very Un-Fräulein-Like Way
Taoba Kemmy of FFC Turbine Potsdam is not to be messed with when she's taking a throw-in because she may well throw it at your face. Don't believe it? Just ask FFC Frankfurt's Kerstin Garfrekes. [Unprofessional Foul]...

Stories That Don't Suck: College Football's Greatest Game And Its Greatest Story
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Dan Jenkins on the 1971 Nebraska-Oklahoma "Game of the Century."...

Now <em>Turkey</em> Wants To Take Away Your Right To Check Out Cheerleaders
Fresh off news that dancers at the FIBA world championship had to overdress for USA-Iran, we now get word that their services won't be required during Turkey's games from now on. Man, if I didn't hate Hedo Turkoglu before... [NYT]...

TRANSFER FUCKING DEADLINE
Sigh. Right, you know the drill. Expect desolate shots of training ground gates, some unlucky chump standing in the pissing rain bringing you literally no news, and congregations of unemployed celebrating transfer coups....