los Page 289 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Closing Time
Due to piss poor time management, today's NHL Closer will once again share a post with college football and basketball. Sorry for the inconvenience. I started playing '1942' on my new Capcom plug-and-play and well ... the red enemy planes kept giving me extra loop power-ups! What was I to do? Not us...
How Do You Like 'Dem Apples, Riley?
My Christmas holiday summed up in five words or less: Clementines, Toblerones and beer. No joke. A million thanks to Alphonso Jackson, Nancy K. Kopp and, of course, Rick Chandler for filling in while I was gone. Your 'Body Shop' gift certificates are in the mail. Now, on to the NBA Closer!...
"You Gotta Support the Meme"
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....
Blog Fight! Blog Fight!
Skeets, who was horribly trampled by adolescent goats while visiting the petting zoo, is still inactive and will be back next week. Today's Closer is written by Rick Chandler, Submersible Operations Coordinator at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution ......
Knicks Ready To 'Turn The Page' After Tragic Coach Mauling
Our story so far: Skeets is still under quarantine in a small room at the Canadian border, and will not return to the NBA Closer until next week. Filling in today is Nancy K. Kopp, Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Maryland Retirement and Pension Agency....
The Joy Division Closer
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....
Looking Toward January 1 In Buffalo
For the 12 of you back at work, Melt Your Face Off offers this preview of the NHL's Winter Classic to be held one week from now, and why it kicks the ass of the stupid Capital One Bowl....
In Portland, It's All About The Roy-Bot (And ESPN)
Rick Chandler continues to rock the NBA Closer all this week. Skeets will be back next week, though Rick's doing just fine, we think....
ManU's Very High Ankle Sprains
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. This column would have run Monday, but no one was reading the site on Monday....
Today's Episode: Isiah Has An Epiphany
Skeets is off celebrating Christmas Eve the way that all Canadians do; pantsless and migrating with a herd of elk. So your NBA Closer today is being written by United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson. Do enjoy....
Legace Takes His Puck And Goes Home
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....
Downsizing Impacts Everything, Even Closers
Due to budgetary setbacks, today's NHL Closer and ... um, whatever the hell we were calling the college basketball thing will share a post. We apologize for the inconvenience, and we fought this thing as far as we could before we thought a Photoshop of a basketball and a hockey puck would look reall...
Pretend It's A Playoff Game, And The Heat Are Suddenly Good Again
Let's see if I got this right. The Miami Heat are still supposed to be good because Shaquille O'Neal is still tall, Dwyane Wade is still making commercials, and Pat Riley's hair gel also doubles as a love potion, or so claimed the highly motivated salesman and his cardboard kiosk. But even after Wad...
Av Mercy
After their 4-3 overtime victory over the Rangers, the Colorado Avalanche said all the right things about how to replace injured comrades Joe Sakic and Ryan Smyth. "You can't," said Wojtek Wolski. "You don't," replied Scott Hannan. "But... you did," said the scoreboard. I mean, Wolski himself scored...
Mustaches Amplify Sadness
When you see Stan Van Gundy all pissed off on the TV, you have to go through a lot of mental logic to remember which team he coaches right now. Miami? Yeah, they're bad so that would make sense, but ... wait, no. Houston? I think so... oh, wrong Van Gundy. Cleveland? Does he coach Cleveland? Well, n...
Welcome to Today's Closer ... Ladies ...
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....
Battle Of The Stars
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or spelunking, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
Submitted for Your Approval
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....
B-B-B-B-Big Shot Billups
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or fighting five year olds, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy....
Thank You, And Tip Your Servers
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....