lsd Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fuck Off, Kobe
The funniest thing about Kobe Bryant’s retirement “announcement” yesterday is that Kobe Bryant was clearly the last person to know that this would be Kobe Bryant’s final season. Honestly, I thought he had announced it already, given that he’s a broken-down old mummy who can no longer play basketball...
Down With Turkey Haters
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Do Not Post Naked Pictures Of Your Toddler On Facebook
Your letters:...
We Have Found The Key To Defeating Aaron Rodgers
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Is Ronda Rousey A GLORY GIRL?
Hey, Ronda Rousey got her butt (and head and neck) kicked the other night. How did such a seemingly dominant athlete manage to end up losing so decisively? Was Rousey ill-prepared for Holly Holm’s cagey boxing style? Was she unnerved by Australia’s counter-clockwise toilet swirl? Did she take a dive...
Why Is It So Hard To Run Out The Clock?
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Why Are Hot Takers Truthering The Missouri Fiasco?
Missouri is playing a football game this Saturday night—a game that was recently put in jeopardy by the ongoing firestorm at the school. It’s a big ol’ shitshow that promises to get messier before it gets cleaner, with potential strikes, ousted chancellors, professors begging for muscle (coming righ...
Will Kobe Bryant Survive This Season?
The early part of the NBA season has been defined by a torrent of incredible Steph Curry highlights and an alternate, uglier torrent of Kobe Bryant lowlights, wherein the Lakers superstar is hopelessly air-balling shot after shot as his teammates—still regarded by Kobe as mere assistants—look on hel...
How To Fix The NFL’s Quarterback Crisis
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
VOTE MARV BUSH 2016
It has been a lousy month for Jeb Bush, gang. He’s running out of cash. His polls numbers are in the shitter. He spends a lot of time now tending to his email. And he appears to be publicly melting into a puddle of tepid lip-sweat before our very eyes, if this tweet is to be believed....
Has An American President Ever Watched Porn In The Oval Office?
Your letters:...
Football Is Not Family
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
People Are Paying For Coffee Made From Poop
In news that is old to much of the world but very new and alarming to me, there is a type of coffee out there called Kopi Luwak that retails for $168.95 per bag and is processed by feeding coffee beans to a civet—a kind of Indonesian woodland creature—and then letting the beans pass through its stoo...
Adrian Peterson Blames Mystery Plane Barf On Shrimp Allergy
Prior to Sunday’s win over the Detroit Lions, Fox broadcaster Chris Myers reported that Vikings running back and artisanal switch carver Adrian Peterson fell ill on the team plane after accidentally swallowing a wad of dip. Oof. That is nasty....
<i>Return Of The Jedi</i> Was Great, You Ewok-Slandering Fools
Earlier this week, the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer came out, and our own Albert Burneko took a moment to express a bit of perfectly warranted skepticism about its prospects. HOWEVER, Bert’s post was essentially a Trojan Horse for a lengthy revisionist diatribe on Return of the Jedi. ...
The Skins Are Still One Long Ongoing Con Job
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Another Patriots Super Bowl Win Would Be The Worst Thing Ever
Your letters:...