m Page 5952 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dear Haiti, Here Are Some Ugly Shirts
Premature, unused Vikings (and Jets) conference championship gear is on its way to Haiti. So the Brett Favre coverage continues, in Port-au-Prince at least. [RandBall]...

Bad Beats: Kiss The Girls
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

John Terry's Affair With Teammate's Girl Manages To Explode English Media Law
An English high court has overturned an injunction prohibiting publishing news of Chelsea and national team captain John Terry's affair with a teammate's girlfriend. Forget the shitshow this will cause the Lions; the ramifications for the press are huge....

Hedo Turkoglu: "Ball"
Maybe it's the noise, maybe it's the language barrier, but Hedo stymies TSN's Jack Armstrong with a nonsensical one-word answer. The answer to life, the universe and everything: "ball."...

Tiger's Harem Immortalized In Golf Ball Form
Well, this was inevitable. Just because Woods's sponsors dropped him, doesn't mean we can't still make a buck off him. For the Tiger Woods completist, or anyone with a terrible sense of humor, have we got the balls for you....

So You Think NU Can Dance, Weeks 4 & 5: We Are America's Team!
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Record: 14-6. Tournament prospects: Stranger things have happened....

This North Jersey-Indianapolis Turf War Is Getting Out Of Hand
No Taser this time, just a Jets fan getting his skull broken in a fight after Sunday's game. No suspects yet, as Midwesterners don't snitch, out of politeness. [Staten Island Advance]...

PRETTY BIRD! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Rey Maualuga Gets Head Start On Offseason With DUI
A Bengals player was arrested. Normally this is not news. What is news is that Maualuga was driving a 2003 Pontiac Sunfire....

Last Night's Winner: Nerds (STRIP CLUB UPDATE)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the folks for whom the annual release of Baseball Prospectus's PECOTA projections is basically geek Christmas....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, who died of throat cancer on Dec. 29....

Miss Manners Says That's A Pur-Don't
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

It's The Feud With A Combined ERA Over 5.00
Would a player intentionally suck to become a part of history? The pitcher who let Barry Bonds set the HR mark says no; his teammate says yes. Join us this week, on As The Nationals Turn....

High School Rink Pretty Much Cursed
In a game dedicated to a player who broke two vertebrae after going head-first into the glass last weekend...his teammate knocks himself unconscious going head-first into the boards. [Boston Globe]...

Three Words No NFLer Wants To Hear: Transgender Sodomy Lawsuit
Cornerback Eric Green, who's bounced around from practice squad to practice squad since being released by the Cardinals after last season, was hit with a lawsuit from a transgendered woman who claims Green forcibly sodomized her....

Donovan McNabb Joins The Psychic Friends Network
McNabb says he knows he'll be back in Philly next year, because his psychic told him so. She also predicted playoffs but no Super Bowl ring, though you don't need to be psychic to know that. [Philly Daily News]...

The Backup Catcher, The NBA Journeyman's Wife, And The Gropey Grandpa
More details emerge in the arrest of Gerald Laird and his prospect brother after a drunken brawl at a Suns game. The whole thing was set off when their grandfather groped a Celtics wife. Isn't that how it always happens?...

Marlins Find Hope In Long-Cancelled Star Trek Ripoff
In a 1993 episode of the surprisingly well-remembered show Seaquest DSV, Jonathan Brandis's character wears a Marlins 2010 World Champions jersey. Also, it predicted that talking dolphin would be sponsored by Sun Life. [Wezen-Ball]...

Chirpy Korean Girl Group Likes Glitter, Knee-Highs, Iowa Hawkeyes Football
Via the good lads at Black Heart Gold Pants comes this music video for which I have no words, other than to say that it is no more inexplicable than the last time women in Korea fawned over a Hawkeye....

Is Gilbert Arenas Crazy Like A Fox?
The odd thing about the announcement of Gilbert Arenas' season-ending suspension was the claim that he asked for it. Literally. Why would someone want to be suspended for a whole year? Obviously, he gets more money that way....