m Page 5963 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No One In The Premier League Has Any Money
One team is having broadcast revenue payments withheld to cover their debts. One manager might have been paid via offshore accounts to avoid taxes. And Manchester United could be forced to sell off Old Trafford itself....
Mediocre Daytime Host And Mediocre-QB-Turned-Mediocre-Analyst Switch Jobs
Tim Hasselbeck and his infinitely-more-famous wife will swap places on Tuesday, meaning he'll host The View while Elisabeth fills in on NFL Live. Though their respective performances will be necessarily uninformed, you might not notice a difference. [AP]...
Hooray For Dong!
Time to go home. Forgive me. Announcements and such after the jump....
South Florida Player No Longer Lying About Jim Leavitt's Lies
USF's Joel Miller says he and former coach Jim Leavitt met in a church parking lot in order to get their stories straight to investigators about how Leavitt didn't slap him (even though he totally did.) [Fanhouse]...
Gilbert Arenas Charged With Gun Felony
Prosecutors have filed one count of felony gun possession against Gilbert Arenas, in what looks to be the first stage of a plea agreement. Police are actively searching for Javaris Crittenton's gun too. [WashPost]...
Five Offensively Stupid Reactions To Mark McGwire's Steroid Admission
Would the following people kindly shut the hell up about Mark McGwire?...
Watch Junior Seau Castrate A Horse With His Hand
Seau prepares for retired life by squishing horse balls on his "Sports Job" television show. It's as gross as you'd expect. I guess it's technically safe for work because, for some reason, they blurred out the poor horse's testicles. [Versus]...
Former Late Night Talk Show Writer Reveals Insider News About Conan O'Brien
"ESPN columnist Bill Simmons tweeted earlier this morning, "FYI: Next week is Conan's final week hosting the Tonight Show. His staff is trying to book big guests so he goes out with a bang. It's true." [MSNBC]...
How Lane Kiffin Resurrected, Then Destroyed Tennessee's Recruiting Program
Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron quickly turned Tennessee recruiting in a national superstar, but their noisy exit could not have come at a worse time and will leave the Volunteers worse off than when they took over....
Hitler: The Drinking Game! Your Divisional Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
The Fate Of American Sports Will Be Determined By Nine Old People In Robes
Your official Deadspin analysis of American Needle v. NFL, the Most Important Case Ever Or Possibly Not: The NFL wants to light the Sherman Act on fire. The NFL will not be allowed to light the Sherman Act on fire....
Mark Grace Likes Sex Too Much To Take Steroids
"I am a single now. I was a single guy then... [I] want to be able to perform. It's kind of funny, it's kind of not. That stuff will tear you up as far as your manhood is concerned." [DPShow]...
The 2009 St. Louis Rams: A Season Of Failure
This pretty much sums it up, doesn't it?...
Division III Coach Also Accused Of Going Crazy On Players
It isn't just coaches in the pressure packed world of D-I football who occasionally fly off the handle and maybe challenge their players to a fight. Even coaching at tiny UMass-Dartmouth can try a man's soul....
Last Night's Winner: Junior Gotti
In sportslife, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like (alleged!!) mobster John Gotti III, who is so good at not getting convicted that federal prosecutors have given up trying. He's on fire!...
<em>GQ</em> Unveils New, Stunning Details About Marvin Harrison Gun Incident
GQ's Jason Fagone drops a monster storyabout the shoot-em-up outside Marvin Harrison's North Philadelphia car wash back in April of 2008. The case was derailed by uncooperative witnesses, Wire-like shadiness and lack of evidence. Until now, the truth was elusive....
Steve Nash In: White Of The Living Dead
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Lovelorn Baseball Player Turns To Dear Abby
Unlucky in sport and in love, one lifelong minor leaguer went to the famous advice columnist for help. While she tries her best, I'm sure we can do better....
Today In The Deadspin Society Pages: The McCoy-Glandorf Engagement
Need to make your woman realize you're not as successful or talented as Colt McCoy? Or that your proposal was inferior by comparison, her ring a dingleberry on the ass of Rachel Glandorf's? You've come to the right place....
The Ravens' Scouting Report Is Unnecessarily Detailed
Here's a story about an opposing player. A kicker. By someone who took a childbirth class with him. Not even on week two of the playoffs, and we're apparently out of story ideas. [Baltimore Sun]...