m Page 6028 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Streaking Is All Fun And Games Until Someone Commits A Felony
Didn't Janet Jackson teach our nation's children that nudity at football games is anything but harmless? Now one high school student is facing criminal sexual conduct charges after his streaking across the field caused a near-riot....
ESPN's HS Football Contract Is Underwhelming
So, just how much does ESPN pay school districts to televise their prep football games? A cool $1000. It's all about the Clevelands. [AJC]...
Little People Racing As Deserving An Olympic Sport As I've Seen
If beer commercials and 80s movies are to be believed, everything's bigger in Australia. Except the jockeys; they're little people. And the horses; they're regular size people....
I'm Not Sayin', I'm Just Sayin'
That prosecuting attorney who decided to charge Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings with only a single misdemeanor charge, instead of the police's harsher recommendations? He's a proud graduate of Louisville Law School. [Rush The Court]...
Coach Can't Keep Hands Off The Merchandise
Go ahead and play with yourself. It's perfectly natural and I won't judge you. Even if you're a high school basketball coach, it's still a personal matter. But do it in the middle of Costco, and that'll get you headlines....
Phillies-Dodgers Is Just Like Bloods-Crips, Insane Person Writes
Stu Bykofsky is the Philly Daily News' house lunatic who writes like he's corresponding from prison and who believes another 9/11 is just the thing to put some hair on America's chest. Care to hear his thoughts on Phillies-Dodgers?...
Cardinal Hoops Players Face Justice, Pitino Style
Louisville's Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings were charged with misdemeanor counts of resisting law enforcement. Their coach says "it's serious" and they will be punished....just not in any way that involves playing time. Yes, that serious! [ESPN]...
Dittoheads Respond To Rush's Nixed NFL Bid With Sadness, Holocaust Poetry
"Tonight..." RedState's tsquare intones in a headline, "We Are All Rush Limbaugh." And then it gets so much better....
Saints Rebuild New Orleans For Fourth Consecutive Year
October 15, 2009: "Saints Revive NOLA's Spirit" by CNN. Does anyone feel like they've heard this story before?...
A Children's Treasury Of Rick Reilly®'s Heat-Related Similes
Rick Reilly®, who yesterday brought word that Colt McCoy's girlfriend is "hotter than shrimp vindaloo," has long shown a fondness for thermodynamic analogy. We've collected a few examples, with helpful visual accompaniment....
Two Best Words in the English Language: Bacon Deluxe
Everything is better with bacon. You know this, we know this, and Wendy's® knows this. So they created the NEW Bacon Deluxe: beef, cheese, lettuce & tomato with four—that's right, four—thick slices of Applewood smoked bacon. Who's hungry?...
These Announcers Aren’t Drunk Enough. Jamboroo, Week 6
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Former Penn State Player Suing School After Rape Charges Dropped
Two years ago, Penn State running back Austin Scott was arrested and kicked off the football team when he was accused of rape. Seven months later, the case was dropped, but not soon enough to save his NFL career. Oops!...
Fancy Lad Wows Hockey World With Whirlybird Goal
The highlight of the NHL season so far belongs to a nine-year-old showing off during some weird Mini Mite competition. He's already been added to the Maple Leafs roster. [Video below via NHL.tv]...
Mike Sims-Walker's Week 5 Status: Out-Nookie
Jacksonville wide receiver Mike Sims-Walker was deactivated for Sunday's game against Seattle, an absence that more deeply affected your fantasy league than the Jaguars, who lost 41-0. Why was he out? Why else? Coitus....
Your Food/Finance/Heavy Construction Metaphor Of The Day
"[W]hen a team gets on a postseason roll, it usually produces a steamroller effect. Sometimes the roll goes stale, but if you get a fast bite after it leaves the oven, it still tastes good and pays dividends." [NYDailyNews.com]...
Oprah To Host Tyson-Holyfield III
Mike Tyson is heading back to Oprah Winfrey's show on Friday and he's bringing his old dinner companion, Evander Holyfield. What could those two possibly have to talk about? [CBSNews]...
Obama's Body Man Gets Bodied Up
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
More Commenting Changes Are Afoot: Wake Up And Read On...
Good morning, early risers/late night partiers. It's going to be a hectic, confusing day here at Deadspin (and most of Gawker media's sites) because, once again, they're dicking around with the comments recipe. Let's chop it up....
Chris Bosh Now Owns The Internet
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....