m Page 6131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Don't Ask Marian Hossa For Stock Market Advice
The dogpile on Marian Hossa has been sufficient and thorough. The Wings beat Hossa's Penguins last year. Then the Penguins beat Hossa's Red Wings. Goat cheese....

Iowa High School Umpire Knows How To Clear A Room
High school baseball umpires have a lot of options in handling disputes. They can give teams warnings, ask the audience to control themselves ... or just throw everyone out of the game....

The LPGA's Melting Pot Of The Future, TODAY!
The ethnic composition of womens golf is what the US will be in 2042, when Michelle Wie will have a really good feeling about winning her first major. [Waggle Room]...

Guy That Enabled Kurt Warner's Career Retires
As a very, very late bloomer to football, one of my first memories was hearing about Rams quarterback Trent Green down for the count in 1999....

Shin-Soo Choo Is Korean For "Don Johnson"
Tonight the Indians are giving away an undisclosed number of Shin-Soo Choo '80s-style bobbleheads. You know, back when South Korea was a great place to live. [Slanch Report]...

Even Their Coaches Know How To Flop
In this undated video, we have an exciting footysoccer game with brilliant ball control, superb balance, and absolutely no match fixing whatsoever. What else do you need?...

Only Minimal Arrests? For Shame, Pittsburgh
"We have a few arrests. For the most part people are being orderly but we've got a few people who don't want to leave." C'mon, Pittsburgh. That's no way to usher in a Crosby regime. [Post-Gazette]...

The Mets Do What The Mets, Pressured Third Graders Do
Luis Castillo is now the face of the New York Mets' misery. All he had to do was catch that popup, and we're not talking about him....

Ladies, Meet The Splash 'Stache
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Depressed Urban Zone Saved By Valiant Sports Team
All of Pittsburgh's troubles as a shrunken post-war manufacturing center are over now that the city has its third Stanley Cup championship and its second major sports title this year. Detroit, sadly, will be boarded up and shipped to Borneo....

Although This Type Of Scene Is Likely Not To Occur At The Deadspin Meetup, Please Do Drop By
No, I'm assuming there won't be any impromptu jello wrestling matches or any females present besides those being dragged out by their significant others or friends-of-friends of Gawker media. This doesn't mean you still can't stop by for free beer....

Pitino Speaks: "If I Can Get Through 9/11, I Can Get Through Anything"
Rick Pitino met with the media today and kinda-sorta addressed the Karen Sypher extortion case. Naturally, talk turned to 9/11....

Hines Ward Slowly Turning Into Bill Cosby
From his interview on NFL Live today. If this guy tries to sell you Jell-O Pudding, just smile politely and slowly back away. [ESPN]...

The Stupid Derrick Rose Controversy
So Derrick Rose once flashed gang signs in a smoky room. With his apology, it's now, officially, a "controversy," a term of art allowing media-types to avoid saying what the story's really about, which is essentially this: scary black people....

NHL Season Just Might End Tonight
Here we are. Game 7. Should I spend the next few paragraphs trying to regurgitate as many clichés as I can about the finality of the ultimate do-or-die scenario or just show you a picture of Greg Ostertag on skates?...

Epic Rant Exposes Dark Side Of Houston Cougar Baseball
There are few things people enjoy more than listening to an angry parent complain about their kid's lack of playing time, but when it's a single-page, 16,000-word website with lots of CAPS LOCK, that's a different story....

FAVRE. FAVRE. FAVRE. FAVRE. FAVRE
"In the next few days a Minnesota Vikings trainer and a member of the team's coaching staff intend to travel to Hattiesburg, Miss., to work with retired quarterback Brett Favre, a source close to the situation tells ESPN."[FAVRESPN]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Wrigley Field
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Chicago Cubs' Wrigley Field....

Tyler Hansbrough Mocks You Mocking Him
"These are probably a bunch of guys who just sit in their basements and probably just write out mock drafts and do this or do that." [SRI]...

Revisiting The Long, Unhappy Police Interview Of Kobe Bean Bryant
Kobe Bryant's one win away from winning his first post-Shaq NBA title, which will effectively end all The Kobe Hate. For history's sake, then, perhaps it's time to revisit a certain 57-page transcript released just less than five years ago....