m Page 6170 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Minor League Bat Dog Ejected For Foul Ball
Master Yogi Berra, a bat and ball fetching dog for the Greensboro Grasshoppers, was relieved of his duties after relieving his own uh..."duty" on the field mid-game. That's a crap call. [Triad]...

The Latest Men Of Steal: The Sixers' Marketing Team
After Andre Iguodala decided to turn into the player everyone's pretended he is during the stunning Game 1 upset of the Orlando Magic, the Sixers are doing everything to take advantage of the momentum....

Freddie Sez Has About Had It With High Ticket Prices
So yeah, there are plenty of those high-priced corporate seats that are empty at Yankee Stadium this season. But here's the real tragedy: Freddie Sez can't get in!...

Tom Izzo To Make Musical Theater Fans <i>Les Miserables</i>
Look...I love Tom Izzo and I hate cancer, but if a Broadway-style musical extravaganza starring an undersized Yooper doesn't have Bad Idea Jeans written all over it, I'll eat my tap shoes....

Percy Harvin, Brandon Tate Caught In Draft Drug Sting
Just because B.J. Raji is clean that doesn't mean that there aren't other pro prospects who like the wacky weed. [Fox Sports]...

NCAA Sanctions Div. I Beach ... Er, Sand Volleyball
Sport to get underway in 2010-11, but NCAA changes name from "beach" to "sand" so that landlocked schools don't get depressed. [ESPN]...

Ole Miss Football Players Don't Read So Good
Mississippi lineman Jerrell Powe raised some hackles this weekend when he was cited by police for a noise violation—then told the officer that he couldn't sign the citation because he doesn't know how to read....

100-Year-Old Red Sox Bat Boy Says It's Go Time
Having learned from the Cubs that to reject a centenarian fan means certain doom, the Boston Red Sox are employing the spry Arthur Giddon as a bat boy for one batter on Saturday....

New Baseball Franchise Attempts To Hitch Its Wagon To Stephen Colbert's Star (Update)
The new Frontier League baseball team in Normal, Ill., needs a nickname, and it's up to you to rock the vote. Of course they're secretly hoping you'll opt for option "C."...

Even Kansas Is Somehow Benefiting From John Calipari's Move
The Henry brothers—high school senior Xavier and his Memphis Tiger sibling, C.J.—are both enrolling at Kansas. (Sources say!) Way to kick a Door when it's down. [Fox, via RTC; more @ SI]...

Beware The Withering Insults Of FIGJAM
Regardless of what people think of Phil Mickelson, he'll always have an enthusiastic fan base and the admiration of some of his peers, regardless of how douchey he comes off sometimes....

Michael Phelps Finds Miss California Intellectually Stimulating
No more of this Miss California runner-up action for Michael Phelps. Apparently, he's decided that he will no longer settle for anything but the real thing with the crown....

Goodell Wants Michael Vick To Say He's Sorry
"Does he understand the mistakes he made and is he genuine and have remorse for those actions and is he prepared to handle himself differently going forward? That will ultimately be my decision." [USA Today]...

Oh, Poor Lindsay Soto
Breasts have always been one of the biggest drawbacks for female sports reporters. Show too much, you're a bimbo. Show too little, you'll be replaced by someone who shows too much....

Ghetto Golf Teaches Us About Urban Blight, Golf
An enterprising video game developer is working on a video game that combines "Grand Theft Auto" with "Tiger Woods PGA." I think even Russian mob-connected carjackers might find this one offensive....

William "Refrigerator" Perry In The Hospital
The Fridge is expected to recover, but is suffering from Guillain-Barre Syndrome, "a chronic inflammation disorder of the peripheral nerves" and also something that doctors call "Shuffleitis." [Sun-Times]...

Umpire Kerwin Danley May Need Stronger Head Gear
Kerwin Danley was carted off the field last night after getting hit in the head with a broken bat—almost a year to the day since he was plunked in face by a Brad Penny fastball....

Alexander Ovechkin Can't Drive 55
Rachel Nichols had a nice "so now you know" profile about the NHL's goofy MVP on E:60 last night. What do you think happens when a toothless, 23-year-old adrenaline junkie gets handed $100 million?...

For Great Quality At A Low, Low Price, Come On Down During Aaron Curry Discount Days
Aaron Curry is shopping himself to the Lions via text message — which technically is SPAM — telling general manager Martin Mayhew he can be had for a song if he chooses him No. 1....

But Who Could Possibly Sex Mutombo With A Bad Knee?
After last night's knee injury, Dikembe Mutombo says his career of shot-blocking and finger-wagging has come to a close:" For me, basketball is over," he said. One of the NBA's nicest guys. [SI]...