m Page 6291 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Donovan McNabb Would Like To Use One of His Lifelines
OK it's true, Donovan McNabb had no idea that there was such a thing as a tie in the NFL (see video below). But let's not pick on him; it seems that there were several members of the Eagles and Bengals who were unaware of the rule, as unbelievable as that might sound. In what will go down in my hous...
Didn't I See This In A David Lynch Movie?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap. No one's quite sure what's going on in the stands at Auburn, or on the field, for that matter. We presented this photo on Sunday, but the link was buried, and we wanted to make sur...
Sunday Night Is Live Blog Night: Cowboys-Redskins
Hey, Tony Romo is back from his injury! Jerry Jones guaranteed playoffs! And I'm sure there's a compelling story line on the Washington Redskins sideline! But there's no non-jump way to find out. True story. * * * * * Pre-Game Babble Which over-dramatized headline is worse for America: "What's Wrong...
Choose Your Own Adventure
You are standing at the crossroads of your life. There are two closed doors in front of you. Behind one of them is an expansive gallery featuring 92 photos of the lovely dimple-faced Carrie Milibank in all of her bikini-laden glory. But behind the other door lurks an evil Auburn fan, donning a creep...
Will Matt Cassel Fetch $10 Million A Year?
Patriots quarterback Matt Cassel, or as we refer to the long-time understudy in my keeper league, "Goddamn Matt Cassel," couldn't have orchestrated a better time for Ton Brady to get injured, as Cassel's contract expires at the end of this season. Rumor has it that Cassel will be seeking "Aaron Rodg...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you pray to your deity that the sticky stuff in the book you got from the library is just glue ... • Classic boxing: Panzienza-Haugen 1990, 7pm [ESPN2] • Racing: NHRA Powerade Drag Racing Series final eliminations, 7pm [ESPN2] • NFL: Dallas at Washington, 8:15pm, [NBC] • Reality:...
NFL Update 4: Finishing Your Sunday Drive
San Francisco 35, St. Louis 3. The Rams are done. No, their season isn't technically over, but they've stopped playing. I swore I saw Steven Jackson sitting in the endzone during pregame with a picnic basket. Shaun Hill has thrown for 2 TDs and run for another. Jacksonville 14, Tennessee 3. Could t...
Florida Star Allowed To Lose As Much Money As He Wants
As the hit movie Blue Chips illustrated for us, gambling in the world of collegiate sports is a serious issue. This is why whenever a player or coach is caught doing nefarious things with money - like, say, running a Death Pool* - they're dealt with swiftly and with little mercy. So it's surprising ...
NFL Update 3: Call My Sister, Tell Her To Wear Something Nice
Cincinnati 13, Philadelphia 13, Final (OT). Shayne Graham missed a last minute field goal on great field position from a bogus pass-interference call late in OT. McNabb's three picks kept the Bengals in this one. It's the first tie in the NFL since 2002. Tampa Bay 19, Minnesota 13, Final. Matt Bryan...
And Get A Scouting Department While You're At It
Those guys that bought the billboards in Cincinnati? They organized a boycott of Paul Brown Stadium today [Who Dey Revolution] Hey, whatever happened to that fat red-headed kid from The Sandlot? [Pyle of List] Has Greg Robinson been fired? Yes. Yes he has [Has Greg Robinson Been Fired?] Here's some ...
Evander Holyfield Will Not Go Quietly Into The Night
If you're still stepping into the boxing ring at 46 years old, something has gone horribly wrong in your life. Sometimes it means you're not talented enough to allow you to retire to a life of afternoon mimosas and luxurious silk shirts. Other times you stay in this long for a pure love of boxing, w...
NFL Update 2: Being Able To Predict The Lions Futility Does Not Make One Nostradamus
Lions 16, Panthers 24 Haha. Told you. Five minutes after posting the last NFL update that had the Lions up 13-7, the Panthers suddenly realized who their opponent was and decided to actually play a little football. By the way, DeAngelo Williams looks kind of like a stud all of a sudden. Let's bring ...
Is Jimmie Johnson's Third Straight Cup THAT Big A Deal?
ESPN is really trumpeting the impending NASCAR Sprint Cup championship of Jimmie Johnson. Jimmie has racked up so many points before this final race that all he has to do is keep his blood-alcohol level below a .15 and he'll win his third straight Cup. But, and I'm asking sincerely, how big a deal i...
NFL Update 1: Drinkability!
Yes, the ads have become relentless in a Toyota "Saved by Zero" kind of way, and as Big Daddy Drew has already pointed out they don't really mean anything at all, but isn't it time for us to finally give Drinkability Girl her due? I don't know who she is, and I don't care, but if Bud Light's master...
When Blaming Your Assistant Coaches For Your Own Failures Goes Wrong
Auburn's struggles on the offensive side of the ball this season have been well-documented, but then head coach fired offensive coordinator Tony Franklin and everyone seemed to shut up about it. And this happened despite the fact that Auburn (5-6, 2-5 in the SEC) still can't move the ball when they ...
Chief Illiniwek Lives...Sort Of
Chief Illiniwek, who was officially disbanded by the University of Illinois as the school's mascot in 2007, had a resurrection of sorts on the Urbana-Champaign campus last weekend, when an independent student group hosted a function that included a dance by a student-anointed mascot-in-waiting. From...
Start Your Preparations For The Vick Media Onslaught
The most surprising news to come out of this Tim Dahlberg-penned update on the ongoing drama that is The Michael Vick Story is that he's scheduled to get out of jail next July. That's only 8 months away, people! Better start dusting off those old Ron Mexico jokes, post haste. You can't expect to hit...
NFL Week 11: What You Need To Know
Denver (5-4) at Atlanta (6-3). I wonder if Roger Goodell is still upset about Matt Ryan's 6-year, 72-million-dollar contract that the rookie from Boston College signed after being drafted third overall last April. Ryan has to be the frontrunner for Rookie of the Year honors, assuming the reins of an...
He's Losing His Mind, And We All Have A Front Row Seat
A man can keep it reigned in for only so long: A solemn prayer that Rod Marinelli blows his stack at one of his press conferences. [It's Just Sports] You mean, besides not ever dying?: Al Davis' top 10 management blunders that have left the Raiders in the sorry state they're in. [MVN Outsider] Why d...
Second Verse, Same As The First
Just like Friday's slate of game, Saturday's left a lot to be desired in the way of "compelling storylines" or "competitiveness". (At least last night featured scrub teams with somewhat recognizable names.) In fact, of the six games to include top 25 teams, the closest contest was a 15-point win for...