m Page 6362 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

When We Were Kings: One Night At Rick's Cabaret
"I don't get the Derek Jeter thing, " one dancer named Julianne says from across a four top table in the dimly lit dining room of Rick's Cabaret. "He's so normal looking." Two other girls, Holly and, oh, I don't know remember what her name was — Bambi, maybe?— agree. "Yes, he's really not that hands...

Let Taxidermy Bring Out The Wildcat In You
Black Friday will be upon us soon and before you know it you will be huddled under blankets outside a Wal-Mart at four in the morning, begging the retailer to give you the honor being kicked in the head for a $10 DVD player. (Excuse me: "home entertainment system.") But why not avoid the muss and fu...

Terrell Owens, Comedian
I did not see last night's "Late Show with David Letterman" (so late!) so I missed this appearance by everyone's favorite vaudeville joke-maker and occasional wide receiver Terrell Owens. We also lost our copy of "Little T Learns To Share," but we think this Top Ten list sends pretty much the same m...

1. Get Hit In Groin With Baseball, 2. Scream In Agony, 3. Profit
We now know the going rate for volunteering to be hit in the nuts by a pitching machine baseball: 1 million bucks. Not that Lhyvann Felipe volunteered, exactly. The unfortunate fellow, who was nailed in a batting cage while picking up baseballs, was awarded $1.2 million last week by a Miami jury con...

Understanding The NFL Fine System (Hint: You Can't)
Last week, New York Giants defensive end Justin Tuck was fined $7,500 for a hit that pretty much everyone on the planet—except for the referee who a threw a flag at him—agreed was a textbook tackle. The commissioner's office felt this was a perfectly reasonable response as part of its effort to prot...

Fun With Babies: More Horrifying Tales From The Phillies Parade
Just like Vietnam, it may be decades before the entire tragic picture of the Phillies victory parade finally comes into focus. More disturbing details emerge each day, including this video, in which this excitable Phils fan can't stop fist-pumping, and in the process nearly jettisons his kid. But...

University Of Georgia Girl Vs. Bathroom Stall ... The Final Conflict
Of all the titanic college football matchups — like Ohio State vs. Michigan, Miami vs. Florida State, Texas vs. Oklahoma — there is one that is often overlooked. It's University of Georgia chick vs. bathroom stall. Come with us now into the women's restroom at Sanford Stadium, where the age-old conf...

Red Wings Fan Attempts To Jinx Penguins With Lions Shirt; Results Predictable
Red Wings fan Rick Finn here decided his team needed a little something extra going into last night's showdown with the Penguins, so he hatched an ingenious plan. He had an opportunity to pose with the Stanley Cup in Traverse City, Mich., on Labor Day, and decided to try and put a hex on Sidney Cros...

Morning Blogdome: Tatum Bell Will Carry That For You
Your blogs are the meaning in the life of [email protected]. • Hands team: Hold on to your suitcases, Denver ... Tatum Bell is back! [Bronco Talk] • Genuine Class: Sean Avery is not afraid to make fun of a fellow player's speech impediment, even if the guy is on his own team. At least you can u...

Carmelo Anthony Might Be Losing More Than Just Allen Iverson
Other than the fact that he's famous, fabulously wealthy, and can dunk on Jerome Williams, Carmelo Anthony has a lot in common with people like you and me. We all love soup, the outdoors, talking and not talking. I mean, we could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about. You ...

The World Cup Is Closer Than You Think
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject : Morning crap This unknown player for one of Turkey's national soccer teams (its World Cup roster lists Semih Şentürk, 25, a striker, as No. 9) can't be worried about FIFA politics; he's involve...

It's Unfortunate That This Woman's Thigh Is Hiding My New Suit
Thank you very much to all the would-be photographers who volunteered their last minute services to photograph us on our "field trip". Quick-typing reader Antonio G. Di Benedetto was the winning first responder and made the trip from Montclair State University to photograph last night's dork-fueled...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you get choked up over a damn space robot ... • College Football: Ball State Cardinals at Miami Red Hawks (7:00 p.m., ET) I still think PCs are better than MACs. [ESPN2] • Cards: World Series Of Poker, Final Table (9:00 p.m., ET) I wonder who wins? [ESPN] • Movie: "Midway" (8:00 ...

Is ESPN Looking to Buy Baseball Prospectus?
A couple weeks ago there was a rumor circulating around one the ESPN offices that, after the election ended, the WWL was going to have a serious conversation with stat-boy guru Nate Silver about the possibility of a buying Baseball Prospectus. Maybe it was just one individual spouting off to some of...

So That's Why Everyone Hates Duke
Duke basketball is quite good, but not like Tiger Woods or Lance Armstrong good. They haven't won the ACC conference since 2006, they haven't been to the Final Four since 2004, and they haven't won the title since 2001. So it's not like there aren't other squads that are equally deserving targets of...

Afternoon Blogdome: Gina Carano Likes The Ladies (When She's Not Beating Them Up)
[email protected] would never hurt you, baby. You know that! • Hey bud, let's party: Look, we're not saying that Gina Carano is into women. We're just saying that she smacks them around for a living and then when she's done with that, maybe goes back to the hotel for some wine and a roll on the...

There Are More Favres Around Than You Think, America
Yes, Dylan Favre here, a junior at St. Stanislaus High in Mississippi, is related to Brett Favre. He's a nephew, and evidently pretty good, for his size. Favre the Lesser set the state's single-season record for TD passes at 43 last week in his team's regular-season finale, throwing for five scores ...

Piazza Convinces Publisher That His Life Story Is Entertainingly Heterosexual
One of my good friends from high school had the opportunity to work out with the Dodgers during spring training in the mid-90s. He said the experience in the locker room was memorable because Ramon Martinez swung his penis around like a gangster's pocket watch and that Mike Piazza had the most disgu...

A Little Trash Talk For Your Tuesday
First, the reasons Kevin Garnett's taunting actions here are a big bowl of wrong: the finger-waving gestures you see in the stills and in the video below are from the movie Bring It On. What? Kevin Garnett is a 15-year-old girl? Also, after all that tongue-wagging and gesturing, Jose Calderon whistl...

The Patriots Public Relations Department Has Had a Busy Week
Poor Stacey James. Fresh off of the Caitlin Davis fiasco from last week, the Patriots executive director of PR has found himself answering more uncomfortable questions about persons loosely affiliated with the team. This week, it's Marblehead High School Coach, Doug Chernovetz (pictured), who was aw...