m Page 6453 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Apparently, The Jennie Finchification Of Softball Is Under Way
So, has Jennie Finch completely transformed softball from a sport once overtaken by rampant lesbianism to one more appealing to bubbly straight girls ? It depends. You can talk to one person and they'll tell you about how half the people they knew on their college and high school softball team wore ...

A Thursday Night Viewer's Guide
Basketbawful has pulled out his Ouiji board, Magic 8-Ball and Tarot cards in order to give you a little prognostication for tonight's game....

Eat Dustbin, Fellow Chelsea Fan!
So, In Europe, you riot when your team loses the big game? Huh. And in London, apparently, they know how to do that. As soon as Chelsea lost to Manchester United in the Champions League Final, they were out of the pubs and into the streets....

It's Never Too Early To Bring Out The Broom
• Lakers' fans are clearly overconfident [Busted Coverage] • Phil Mickelson and Johnny Drama will be hanging out on this season of "Entourage"[Brahsome] • Pau Gasol's "Deer Hunter" face is rather amusing. [Sports Hernia] • Christmas Tunison offers advice to those who aspire to one day get canned fro...

The Bus Needs Directions to the Stanley Cup Finals
The Deadspin Stanley Cup Finals Preview is brought to you by the five former Mouseketeers at Melt Your Face Off. And no, neither Britney nor Lindsay would give them the time of day....

Johnny Lawrence Can Still Sweep The Leg
It's time for Minor Enterprise, which celebrates Minor League baseball and all else that is good and great about America. And now, please rise as William Hung sings his rendition of our National Anthem ......

Kelly Tilghman, Doris Burke, Erin Andrews And The Confessions Of A Not-So-Closeted Sports Sexist
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....

Let The Sphincters Roar
Farts are funny, which is why there have been two stories sent to my inbox in the last 24 hours, both of which didn't have to do a very thorough job of explaining what they were about....

Media Approval Ratings: Charissa Thompson
Charissa Thompson has gone from yappy, distracting eye candy to the Dibble seat on Fox's "Best Damn Sports Show Period." This fall, we'll also see her every Sunday as Fox's new NFL sideline reporting princess. Even though she's equipped with a striking visage and obviously knows her way around a spi...

There's No Reason That Random Urinalysis Can't Be Fun
Barry Bonds may be gone, but as penance for profiting over his steroid-soaked home run record chase, I think the Giants should have to dump Lou Seal and adopt a new mascot. Meet Petey P. Cup, who not only charms young and old with his playful urine-related antics, but serves as a sober reminder of b...

Weep Not For John Terry
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Beware The Handrails Of Death
It appears there is no more a dangerous threat at the ballpark than staircases or escalators. If 2001 was famously called the "Summer Of The Shark," after numerous Floridians smelling like chum or dressed in seal costumes were chomped, this 2008's TV news fear bait might be "Spring Of The Handrail."...

Chris Cooley-ooley-ooley-o Is Making All Men Look Silly
Redskin Chris Cooley's nuptials are happening this Friday, and what better way to express his joyfulness and show off his hot-ass soon-to-be wife than post a long, heartfelt story about his pending marriage at the House That Mottram Built....

Marlins Break Brandon Webb's Evil Spell
Somewhere in a third-world country, a child is wearing a Brandon Webb 10-0 t-shirt. It looks rather spiffy with his Patriots 19-0 Super Bowl hat, and his New Orleans Hornets foam No. 1 finger. To beat the most unbeatable of pitchers on Wednesday, Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez called for the most de...

San Antonio Duncan And The Fourth Quarter Of Doom
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who was very moved by Ray Allen's love letter to his missing jump shot. Let's hope those two crazy kids can make it work. When he's not making Fruity Pebbles a part of his well-balanced and nutritious breakfast, he can be found tormenting the Trix rabbit at ...

About Last Night
What you missed while incorrectly calling "shotgun" ... • NBA: Spurs blow 20-point lead in Game 1 loss to Lakers, also lose car keys and wallet. • MLB: Everything's coming up Red Sox ... Bartolo Colon is back, and pitching well. Boston 6, Kansas City 3. • Soccer: I don't know a lot about soccer, but...

Those Houston Astros Are Quietly Having A Pretty Good Season
And let's just start to set the bar incredily low early to kick off the Memorial Day Weekend by linking to Astros' centerfielder Hunter Pence's lady friend. According to BumpShack (that's where it's at), the woman's name is Terri B, who appears to be eligible for her inclusion on this site because...

Rick Sutcliffe Returns To Announcing Booth More Sober, Cancer-Free
Tonight is a monumental moment for those who enjoy Rick Sutcliffe's smooth, honest, and, sometimes, absolutely shit-faced baseball analysis, as he returns to ESPN studios to be the colorman for the Atlanta Braves-New York Mets game. Sutcliffe's been out of commission after battling colon cancer, but...