m Page 6564 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after getting your tongue unstuck ... • College basketball: Ohio State at Penn State (7 p.m., ET); Tennessee at Alabama (9 p.m., ET). Where's the love for Bruce Pearl? [ESPN] • NHL: Buffalo at Tampa Bay (7 p.m., ET); San Jose at Edmonton (9:30 p.m., ET). These games would be better if ...

One Year Since We Lost The Horse That Cured Cancer
By now, you've surely heard: Barbaro will be buried at Churchill Downs. You really need to see how poorly everyone handled it at the press conference....

Tony Romo Needs A Date, Stat
By now, you might have seen the bizarre Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson singalong thing that the brain has yet to download, let alone comprehend....

Santana Headed To Flushing, Finally
It's official (kind of): The Twins have traded Johan Santana to the Mets....

This Collision Rated PG-13. Parental Disrection Advised
This reminds me of my friend Jim — with whom I was talking by phone just this morning — who, on a school overnight camp out when we were 12, somehow rolled into the creek while in his sleeping bag. He emerged later, to our delight like a giant soggy burrito, with no help from his friends. And if cam...

Where My Team Stands: New England Patriots
We've asked a couple excellent writers who are fans of each Super Bowl team to talk about where their team stands going into next week's "Big" "Game." Last week brought us Peter Schrager from FoxSports.com opining on his Giants. Today it's Eric Gillin of Esquire.com on the Patriots. Enjoy....

Meanwhile, In New Zealand ...
If there's one rule I've lived by in this life, it's this: Never try to separate a New Zealand rugby fan from his mankini. The charming gentleman here is both a fan of the movie Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, and of fine rugby. But he and other f...

Deadspin Retro HOF Nominee: Pedro Guerrero
What would the sports world have looked like had Deadspin been around 20 years ago? Well, exactly the same as it looked back then, of course, but we still would have found a ridiculous amount of joy in making fun of the sports planet's more ridiculous humans....

In-Fighting In Steeltown
• Hines Ward and Ben Roethlisberger are fighting. What's going on, Pittsburgh? [Mondesi's House] • Wrapping up the best figure skating awards. [Best Week Ever] • Fun with mopeds. [YMSWWC] • You know we're getting silly when VCU players drinking makes blog news. [George Mason Basketball] • Jeff Van G...

Super Bowl XLII, Tecmo Bowl Style
Because the game itself is destined to disappoint, we proudly present the official Tecmo Bowl version of Super Bowl XLII....

WNBA Avoids Minor Labor Pains
Kids, get off the danged roof, open the garage door and shut the engine off: The WNBA isn't going on strike after all....

The 2000 Washington Huskies Were Horrible People
If you haven't had a chance yet to dive into the Seattle Times amazing — and ongoing — investigation into the 2000 Washington Huskies, please do so right now. Today's section is about strong safety Curtis Williams — who broke his wife's arm — but we're still absolutely transfixed by the tale of coll...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Gilbert Arenas Wants You To Buy Our Book
Yes, yes, we know: We've hawked the book a bit around here, but we took a day off from it yesterday. (If just because we were in a plane for seven hours.) But don't worry, folks: Gilbert Arenas has our back....

Both Teams' Fans Already Assuming Victory
We have arrived in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona, and it's still raining. What the heck is going on? We thought this was Arizona? Anyway, while looking at this poster online — and we are trying to imagine the sort of fragile, sensitive boy that might put this on their wall — we got to thinking about th...

Commit To the Indian, Bitches!
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

We Crown Thee King Of The Suttons!
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....

Chris Paul Creates New And Better Realities, And Improves Conditions
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and who has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not screaming in soulless rage at the merciless Pagan gods, he can be found making fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

About Last Night
What you missed while deciding for whom to vote ... • NBA: Utah 97, San Antonio 91. Mitt Romney declares victory. Rudy Giuliani decides to skip the game. John McCain says that both teams should work together to end their differences. Fred Thompson dozes peacefully. • College basketball: UConn beats ...

And Off To Glendale We Go!
As you read this, we will be on a plane to beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. It has been freezing in New York City, and fortunately, we can have the sweet release of gorgeous desert weather ... wait ... is that rain?...