m Page 6581 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Warren Sapp's Worst Thing In The World
Remember when Warren Sapp was relevant? OK, we don't remember that either. Anyway, the guy has finally retired, flipping out in his next to last game, just for good measure. What was the tipping point of his rage? Why, gay porn, of course!...

Brady Quinn's Unfortunate Circumstances
With the news yesterday that the Browns are looking to sign Derek "Horse Balls" Anderson to long-term contract, we look ominously to a future that, sadly ... could be Brady Quinn-less....


Divisional Playoff Cranium!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Canadian Sports Are Weird
• We're not sure what this sport is, but we kind of love it. [Barry Melrose Rocks] • That couldn't have really been the Bobcats, could it? [Sports Brethren] • Michigan has a lot of holes to fill next season, all of a sudden. [Simon On Sports] • What college coaches are donating, and where. [Selfish ...

NFL Divisional Pants Party: Packers Vs. Seahawks
OK, everyone, it's the best football weekend of the year. Seriously: Four awesome games, all weekend. What more could someone want?...

Darren McFadden's Piano Bar Brawl
It has to be kind of boring for a college football phenom, when the bowl games are over, your college career is done and you have nothing to do until the Draft workouts begin. It has to make a man antsy. So we sympathize with Darren McFadden, who got himself arrested early this morning....

Attention Oprah's Book Club: The New Reggie Bush Tell-All Is Here
Not in time for Christmas, darn it, but sure to make for cozy fireside reading nonetheless; the new Reggie Bush book, Don Yaeger's Tarnished Heisman, is here. Is this the Game of Shadows of college football? There's apparently enough evidence of financial impropriety involving Bush at USC to make th...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Boy's Mother Secures Lifetime Of Beatings
You might ask yourself: What is it, exactly, that the "Kentucky Commission on Human Rights" does? Do they make sure that the varmint menace is vanquished? Are they there to clear the way for Kige Ramsey's right to free speech? Nope: They make sure boys can be cheerleaders....

Nebraska's New Coach Is Quite Handsome
A reader who went to the BCS Championship Game sends in this photo of former LSU defensive coordinator and new Nebraska coach Bo Pelini, rocking the French Quarter at 3 a.m....

From Russia, With Fists
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer. Enjoy....


Just Five Unbeatens Left
Jonah Keri writes the college basketball closer (more or less) daily. E-mail your questions, comments or Clarence Ceasar-related memories to [email protected]....

Upset In Beantown
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or voting Benson '08, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

About Last Night
What you missed while stumping for votes at the Nevada caucus (playing blackjack) ... • NBA: When the Celtics lose, it's news. When they lose to the Bobcats, it's big news. • College basketball: Isn't "7-foot-7 giant" redundant? Know any 7-foot-7 dwarves? Anyway, North Carolina 93, UNC-Asheville 81....

This Month's ESPN Accountability Record
So, you know how we asked for submissions to the ESPN Accountability Record a month ago, and then never got around to publishing it? Well, we're gonna finally do that today....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you once again blow off your trip to the Museum of Laziness ... • College basketball: Duke at Temple (7 p.m., ET). Won't be the same without Dickie V's barbed-wire irritating tones [ESPN]; Pittsburgh at South Florida (7:30 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • NBA: Detroit at Dallas (9 p.m., ET). ...