m Page 6637 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Greetings, Spinheads
Hello again, faceless internet cro-mags. A.J. Daulerio here to guide you through this glorious autumn day full of dead leaves on the dirty ground and sweaters stuffed with cold tits. Hopefully, I'll play a small part in making your day of corporate drudgery fly by as quickly as possible so you can a...

Joe Torre: Not Likely To Overdose At The Viper Room, But Will Be Near It
As expected, the Los Angeles Dodgers not of Anaheim will officially introduce Joe Torre as their new manager during a Monday morning press conference. The storied organization rids itself of the managerial albatross that was Grady Little, and lands a future Hall of Fame manager with four World Serie...

About Last Night
What you missed while getting Jack Bauer arrested ... • College football: Sean Glennon beats Georgia Tech while wearing one of their own jerseys. • NBA: Our new Houston Rockets overlords have installed Tracy McGrady as their king ... • NHL: Henrik Zetterberg beats out Flames to lead Red Wings to sev...

As Close As We Come To A Vacation
The last time we took a day off, Nick Saban announced he was headed to Alabama, Bill Cowher left the Steelers and a young man named A.J. Daulerio bought his plane ticket to head to the Super Bowl. How young we were! How little we knew!...


To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the Halloween sugar rush begins to subside ... • College football: Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech. One Tech to rule them all. [ESPN] • NBA: Detroit at Miami; Phoenix at Seattle. Finally, America can get its Nash on. [TNT] • Soccer: MLS, playoffs, Eastern Conference semifinal, second ...

More People Angry About ESPNU
For fans of college football and college basketball, there's not much more depressing than learning one of your team's games is on ESPN-U. We repeat, and repeat, and repeat: Not allowing customers to pay for your product — when they are begging to pay for your product — is never, ever a smart busine...

Here We Go Again With The Damned Red Sox World Series Ball
Oh, you've got to be kidding ... are we going to have another stupid controversy about who has the baseball the Red Sox won the World Series with? Please, no....

Please Come Grace The Dolphins With Your Star Wattage
This story is from last week, but we somehow missed it, probably because we were so distracted by the Jason Taylor Robot that's intent on enslaving all our women. Turns out, the Dolphins, who are off to somewhat of a slow start, are paying celebrities to come to their games. Well, they're trying to....

Probably The Only Place Left For A-Rod
As we look over Alex Rodriguez's possible free agent destinations, frankly, only one place makes sense: The Toledo Mud Hens. And they're making their push....


Jamboroo, Week 9: The Budding Legend Of Derek "Horse Balls" Anderson
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Sacre Bleu! (Or Something)
• The Montreal Canadiens' captain doesn't speak French. The horrors! [Way Offside] • No matter what Steve Nash is obsessed with the Spurs. [Machochip] • The NBA's all white-trash team. [The Realests] • Just remember: Many think the Heat still should have no championships. [Yellow Chair Sports] • Bac...

Who's Sorry Now? Naked Coach Edition
If there's one thing you learn as a kid, it's that you never apologize for your Halloween costume. Hey, it's Halloween ... shit happens. Just ignore the critics and move on. But now Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna says he is very sorry for dressing as naked assistant Lions coach Joe Cullen, and would ...

Raiders Fans Would Rather Look Elsewhere, Thank You
It's not easy being a Raiders fan. First off: What goes with black? Seriously! It's also difficult to find time to cheer, what with all the drinking of infant's blood. And worst off, the Raiders' lousy game with the Texans this Sunday happens to be at the same time as The Most Important Battle Betwe...