mac Page 99 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hits This Year? Jay Bruce Can Count 'Em On Two Middle Fingers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Mysterious Laugher Does Not Sympathize With Chan Ho Park's Stomach Ailments (UPDATE)
Chan Ho Park recently gave his reason for being slightly worse than usual: a bout of diarrhea. This admission (repeated several times) drew gales of laughter (also repeated) from an unseen source. Who is this secret gut-bustee? A Parenthood fan? [ZonerSports.com]...
The Biggest Supporters Around
To conclude one of the boobsiest days in Deadspin history, here's this picture of some strategically placed fans/cameramen at last night's Thunder-Jazz and Penguins-Capitals trackmeets. Mutton wins again. H/t Eric and Patrick....
Jason Whitlock Apparently Getting His Becky On, Via Twitter
This message, in which Very Provocative Columnist Jason Whitlock makes a new friend on the Internet, appeared briefly on Whitlock's twitter feed, only to disappear moments later. Oh, Jason, u sound like a dream, too. [@WhitlockJason, h/t Pete Gaines]...
Alabama Couple Ensures Child Can Never Leave The State
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
MMA's War Machine Busts Up Bar, Spits On Cops
Take a heavily tattooed MMA-fighter-cum-porn-actor, who legally changed his name to "War Machine," and it's a surprise we're reporting on his bar brawl instead of reporting on when he doesn't start one....
Mark Ingram's Money-Laundering Father Gets Extended Sentence For Watching Sugar Bowl
Mark Ingram, father of Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram, will serve an extra 27 months in federal "[Office Space quote]" prison after jumping bail to watch Alabama's 2009 Sugar Bowl loss to Utah....
Ron Washington Tested Positive For Cocaine Last Year, Which, Let's Be Honest, Is Pretty Awesome
SI.com narc Jon Heyman reports that Ron Washington, the Rangers' 57-year-old manager and all-around swell guy, indulged in a popular but illicit recreational drug last year. "I did make a mistake," he tells SI.com, speaking very, very quickly. [SI.com]...
Inflatable Dong-Tongued Mascot Returns To Eat ESPN's Michelle Beadle
Mackerel Jordan, last seen devouring hapless university athletic department employees, appeared on SportsNation yesterday. After being mocked by Michelle Beadle, the man-fish did what man-fish do best: feast....
Don't Celebrate Just Yet: Brilliant Strategy Tainted Win, Says Football Genius
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Alabama Fax Machine Replaces Memphis Door As Inanimate Symbol Of Existential Dread
On this National Signing Day, Alabama is offering a live video feed of a fax machine. The machine periodically spits out a piece of paper. A name goes up on a board. Nothing to be done. [CBSSports.com, via Bourbon Boys]...
The One Where Jaimee Grubbs Banged Tiger For Haiti
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.(NSFW)...
Thunder Owner Reaches Piddly Settlement In Frivolous Lawsuit
Clay Bennett will pay Sonics season ticket holders $1.6 million (the equivalent of Kevin Ollie), because he raised the price of tickets after the team moved to Oklahoma City. I'm not sure how that works, either. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...
Your Ill-Advised Foul Of The Week
High school team hits gamewinning three at the buzzer. Team charges opposing bench to gloat. Ref awards technical foul, opposing team hits free throw to send game to overtime. Opposing team wins. That'll mean a few laps. [Romeo Observer]...
No One In The Premier League Has Any Money
One team is having broadcast revenue payments withheld to cover their debts. One manager might have been paid via offshore accounts to avoid taxes. And Manchester United could be forced to sell off Old Trafford itself....
Texas Writer Eats Crow, Spits It In Alabama's Face
Even after his Longhorns' crushing defeat in the BCS title game, Austin's John Kelso still can't resist taking a few more (half-hearted) digs at the state of Alabama. They do make it really, really easy. [Earlier]...
Knicks Fall To Yet Another Opponent: Ghosts
The Knicks were crushed by Oklahoma City last night, but an opponent far more deadly than Kevin Durant was to blame. It seems the team had trouble resting up because their hotel was haunted....
Alabama Celebrates As Only Alabama Can (Updates)
With the Coaches' Trophy on display at Tuscaloosa Walmarts, we're awash in photos of Alabama goobers posing with a crystal egg in front of Dr Pepper pyramids. Send us any more you can find, and we'll add to our gallery....
Last Night's Winner: Joyless Robot Prigs
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Nick Saban, recipient of history's unhappiest Gatorade bath, a coach who won a national championship but would probably fail a Turing test....
We Wanted A Game; We Got A Circus
Trick plays, failed trick plays, and a freshman QB thrust into the spotlight. Let's take a look at the storylines and screengrabs of the night....