mad Page 39 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Olympic Curling Qualifier Gets Hamstrung By Politeness, Finishes With Insane Danish Shot
One of curling’s unusual features, other than everything else, has been its politeness and sportsmanship. The first page of the official rulebook discusses The Spirit of Curling for a reason, as it points out that players should be the first to admit if they broke a rule. (Imagine if NBA or NHL play...
Cristiano Ronaldo May Be Butt In La Liga, But He's Still Good In The Champions League
Real Madrid superstar Cristiano Ronaldo ranks second in La Liga in shots taken per 90 minutes. Ahead of him is some dude named Andrew Hjulsager, who has made two substitute appearances for Celta Vigo. In that time Hjulsager has amassed 12 minutes and fired off a single shot, giving him a 7.5 shots-p...
Another Mad Pooper Has Struck Near Buffalo
The town of Orchard Park, N.Y., home of the Bills, has been soiled by a person leaving poops in places where they shouldn’t. This unrestrained defecator’s modus operandi sounds very much like the infamous Mad Pooper of Colorado Springs....
Antoine Griezmann Smacked In A Very Pretty Bicycle Kick Golazo
Atlético Madrid face an uphill battle to qualify for the next round of the Champions League, and though they have a slim chance to advance, they put their best foot forward today, beating Roma 2-0. Antoine Griezmann, who hadn’t scored for Atleti since September, banged in the opener by going all ups...
Taylor Swift's Lawyer Sends Deranged Letter Over Blog Suggesting She's An Alt-Right Sympathizer
Last month, Taylor Swift and her team took some time away from interpolating novelty songs into disappointing singles and turned their attention to intimidating a little-known blogger. Swift took issue with Meghan Herning of PopFront, who accused Swift of dogwhistling to white supremacists in a post...
Atlético Madrid Kicked Themselves In The Dick Again<em></em>
When the Champions League groups were announced, there was no doubt that Group C was going to be a tough one to advance from. With Chelsea, Roma and Atlético Madrid all battling it out for two slots, we knew that one very good team wasn’t going to be in the knockout stage. But what we didn’t expect ...
This Is The Arc Of Joe Maddon's Anger
In the eighth inning of tonight’s 3-2 Cubs victory over the Dodgers, there was, for a few moments, a third-strike call on Curtis Granderson. Just until the umpires conferred for a bit and determined that Granderson had in fact fouled the ball off rather than swinging and missing. This made Cubs mana...
Muhammad Ali's Desperate Twilight
Excerpted from Ali: A Life, By Jonathan Eig....
Japanese Playoff Baseball Game Turns Into A Mud Bowl
In the first round of the Nippon Professional Baseball playoffs in Japan, the Hanshin Tigers and Yokohama DeNA Baystars battled through absolutely absurd conditions to play an entire baseball game in the mud. The result was unlike any baseball game I’ve ever seen. To watch the highlights with the fu...
Joe Maddon Works Soda Tax Criticism Into His Thoughts On Blocking The Plate
In the bottom of the seventh inning of last night’s NLCS Game 1, with the Dodgers leading 4-2, Justin Turner singled through the left side and Chris Woodward, the Dodgers’ third-base coach, waved Charlie Culberson around, setting up a play at the plate....
Dog Wants Nothing To Do With Lee Corso
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Colorado Springs Police Beg Us To Stop Calling About The Mad Pooper, Who Is Still At Large
The Colorado Springs Police Department’s public information officer audibly sighed into the phone Monday as he told me, again, that there were still no updates on the hunt for the Mad Pooper, the feculent jogger who has been terrorizing the city....
Big-Shot Batshuayi Does It Again For Chelsea
Michy Batshuayi has never been Chelsea’s best striker in his year-plus of service for the Blues, but he’s been there when they’ve truly needed a goal, and he was able to cement an eternal place in club history when he scored the goal that won the Premier League last year....
The Mad Pooper Is Not Alone: Your Best Stories Of Crapping On The Run
A jogger known as the Mad Pooper has caused an uproar across Colorado Springs with the public turds that she’s been dropping in and around one family’s yard, and allegedly a few other places too. Colorado Springs police are on the case, although a particularly exasperated public information officer ...
A Jogger Dubbed The "Mad Pooper" Is Terrorizing Colorado Springs<em></em>
There’s no use trying to skirt around this, so let’s cut straight to the chase: A Colorado Springs woman has been taking big craps in front of someone’s house for a few weeks now. They’re calling her the Mad Pooper and she won’t stop. The cops are involved. It appears to be some sort of revenge poop...
Gareth Bale's Still Got It
It’s more than a little insane to think that Gareth Bale—after four seasons at Real Madrid in which he has played 150 matches and amassed a mind-boggling combined 118 goals and assists, in that time asserting himself as a perennial top 10 player in the world with an unrivaled combination of speed an...
Marco Asensio Will Miss Champions League Match After Hurting Himself Shaving His Legs
In a recent interview, Real Madrid’s Marco Asensio recalled that manager Zinedine Zidane once told him that the wonderkid was in possession of the best left foot since Lionel Messi’s. Sadly, we won’t get to see that special foot in action today, not after Asensio injured himself while trying to pret...
Charles Oakley Sues James Dolan, Doesn't Hold Back
Knicks legend Charles Oakley filed a suit in federal court Tuesday regarding a Feb. 8 incident where he was handcuffed, arrested, and hauled screaming out of Madison Square Garden during the first quarter of a game against the Clippers. The Knicks later released a statement accusing Oakley of “highl...
Sloane Stephens Dominates Madison Keys To Win U.S. Open Women's Final
After doing the damn thing against Venus Williams in the semifinal, Sloane Stephens crushed Madison Keys 6-3, 6-0 this afternoon to win the U.S. Open Women’s Final, her first Grand Slam victory....
Sloane Stephens Knows What She Has To Do
QUEENS, N.Y.—It was after 10 p.m. in interview room one, in the basement of Arthur Ashe stadium, and Sloane Stephens was dutifully answering questions about her three-set U.S. Open semifinal win over Venus Williams. The press conference would go longer than usual, a PR guy said, because there would ...