mad Page 54 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Barcelona Takes Early Lead In <i>El </i><em>Clásico </em>With Sweet Luis Suarez Goal
Luiz Suarez put Barcelona up early in today’s El Clásico with this slick finish. While the goal itself was quite good, Sergi Roberto’s smart running and perfectly timed layoff with the outside of his foot were even better....
Real Madrid Really Can't Afford To Lose To Barcelona In <i>El Clásico</i>
What a difference a year makes, eh?...
Sergio Ramos Smashes In Spinning Bicycle Kick Goal
Real Madrid are up 1-0 to Sevilla thanks to this insane Sergio Ramos bicycle kick. Look at the spin on that thing!...
Chinese Commentator Fired For Snoring In Middle Of Champions League Game
The deep and hearty snores you hear are from Chinese commentator Dong Lu during this week’s Real Madrid-PSG Champions League match, and he’s not taking a sly jab at the quality of play. Apparently, Dong really did fall asleep during the game, and his network fired him for it....
French Media Calls In Body Language Expert To Divine Ronaldo's Secret Intentions
Every couple years, the European media works itself into a bubbly froth about Cristiano Ronaldo’s future. We’re now in the thick of yet another foamy period, and perhaps because his departure might actually be imminent this time, the papers are going to absurd lengths to search for clues....
Fallen Striker Edinson Cavani Spasms His Way Out Of A Goal
Edinson Cavani was once one of Europe’s most fearsome strikers, coveted the world over thanks to his domination of Serie A for Napoli. He had it all: a long, lanky frame to nod in goals with his forehead, a loping stride that sped him around the pitch and onto through balls much quicker than you’d e...
Lee Corso Does Butt Chugs: Today's James Madison <i>College GameDay</i> Sign Roundup
College GameDay made its annual FCS site visit, this time to Harrisonburg for today’s James Madison-Richmond matchup. The signs... are mostly regrettable....
Ref Chosen For <i>El Clásico</i> Claims He Was Ordered To Favor Real Madrid
A Spanish referee has filed a complaint with local police, claiming that upon notice that he was to be selected as the line judge in next month’s Real Madrid-Barcelona match, his bosses made it clear that he was to make decisions in favor of the Madrid club....
There Are Levels To This Violence
“Had I an enemy whom I wished to ruin, body and soul, I would ask no more than to turn him out into the company of pugilists and their clique, and the matter would be effected without delay.”-The Spirit of the Times, 1832....
Ultimate Tom Brady Fan Has Fierce & Foul Words
Ahh, a Michigan Man. Is there anything he can’t accomplish through a flourish of words and a commanding gesture? This is excellent broadcast work by ESPN, here. ...
Report: Martin Scorsese Drops Cristiano Ronaldo From New Movie
Last month, Martin Scorsese reportedly cast Cristiano Ronaldo in his upcoming movie, The Manipulator, which is apparently about mega-rich Italian real estate agent Alessandro Proto. The Italian has claimed that he is, in fact, the inspiration for the titular Christian Grey of “Fifty Shades Of Grey.”...
Gareth Bale's Loud-Mouth Agent Might Have Talked Himself Out Of A Job
Earlier this week, Gareth Bale’s agent, Jonathan Barnett, proclaimed in an interview that Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo don’t hate each other. Rather than assuaging the situation, it appears that all the agent succeeded at was getting Bale to hate him....
Cristiano Ronaldo Isn't The Greatest Player Alive, And That's Insane
Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo won Europe’s Golden Shoe yesterday, which recognizes the top scorer across the continent’s top leagues. It’s the fourth time he’s won the award, and it comes after last season, when he scored 48 goals in 35 La Liga games. No one else in the history of the award has wo...
Agent: Gareth Bale And Ronaldo Don't Hate Each Other (They Totally Do)
It’s long been understood that playing with Cristiano Ronaldo is not the easiest of tasks. He is a singular talent that thrives on a team built with the specific objective of facilitating him. As driven an athlete as you’ll ever find, he focuses only on winning—and to him, the path to winning starts...
Eagles Fan Is Extremely Excited About His 2-3 Team
The Eagles drubbed Drew Brees’s deteriorating shoulder and the Saints Sunday, and gave Philadelphia’s media a week off from speculating that Chip Kelly’s racist, rabid, or a robot built by another NFL team that was designed to sabotage the organization. Regardless of Kelly’s purpose, at least one fa...
Sean Rodriguez Has Apologized To That Poor Cooler He Beat Up
Pirates infielder Sean Rodriguez got extremely heated during the brief dust-up that broke out during last night’s Cubs-Pirates wild card game. He was so dang mad that he pummeled a defenseless water cooler:...
Brazilian Ref Whips Out A Big-Ass Gun After Getting Assaulted By Player
Look, if lower league refs keep getting punched and kicked and knocked out by irate players, this will be the natural end point of these things. Gabriel Murta’s response to being punched and kicked by a player in an amateur match in Brazil was just ahead of the curve....
Madison Bumgarner Had An Endless, Awkward Staredown With Umpire Joe West
You know Joe West. Of course you know Joe West, because West is the only MLB umpire who thinks you’re there to see him instead of the game. Picking fights, escalating confrontations, offering opinions when none are asked for, and ejecting West craves being the center of attention, and wants nothing ...
Joe Maddon Says AC/DC Screwed Up Wrigley Field
AC/DC held a concert at Wrigley Field on Sept. 15, and they apparently shredded the whole field with their smoking hot riffs. At least that’s what Cubs manager Joe Maddon thinks....