mad Page 92 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Northwestern Wildcats Will Not Be Going Dancing
What looked like a sure thing is now just a memory. The Northwestern Wildcats hoops team, despite its best efforts, will most assuredly miss qualifying for the NCAA Tournament after today's overtime loss to Minnesota in the Big 10 Tournament. The team was attempting to secure its first March Madness...

Internet, Prepare Your Wanking Motions: Harvard Prigs Talk About Team's NCAA Tourney Bid
So I went to Harvard. It was a daily challenge not to slug many of my classmates in the face. There are plenty of good people at Harvard. There are also a great many egotistical children convinced that their prattling is the stuff of genius. Too many politicians in training wheels. Too many cowards ...

While Messi Was Scoring Five Goals, Cristiano Ronaldo's $300,000 Lamborghini Was Getting Towed
Remember when "Messi or Ronaldo" was like, a thing? Feel silly these days, don't we....

Mets Owners Have To Pay Back $83 Million In Phony Madoff Profits, Have To Go To Trial Over $300M More
This is the worst news for the Mets in the last three days, non-valley fever edition:...

Jon Hamm, Who Used To Comment On Deadspin, Clarifies His Involvement With Texas Longhorns Baseball
We posted a story earlier today about a story Mad Men star Jon Hamm told on Letterman last night. Hamm told Letterman that he was tempted to walk onto the baseball team at the University of Texas, but Longhorns ace Roger Clemens intimidated him. But Hamm was in junior high when Clemens left UT. We w...

Jon Hamm Channels His Inner Don Draper, Tells Letterman Bullshit Story About Playing Baseball With Roger Clemens
See update from Jon Hamm....

Cristiano Ronaldo's Latest Goal Was Truly Outrageous
A well-played match to the point by Rayo Vallecano fell to bits when Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo put the Whites up 1-0 with this straight-up stupid blind back heel goal that somehow navigated itself past teammates, defenders, and the keeper. Call it a ¡ozaloG! [ESPN Deportes]...

Confessions Of A Fan Photographer: The Abyss Gazes Back!
Republished with permission from The Classical....

How Bernie Madoff's Money Ran The Mets
Next month, a jury will hear a lawsuit against Mets owners Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz that seeks to recover as much as $1 billion for the victims of Bernie Madoff's financial scam. In advance of the trial, legal filings and depositions paint a picture of a New York Mets ownership that for nearly a de...

Three Journalists Arrested For Publishing Boobsy Photos Of Real Madrid Player And WAG
Earlier this month, Real Madrid midfielder Sami Khedira posed for this photo for the cover of the German edition of GQ. The half-Tunisian Khedira is fully dressed; his girlfriend, model and TV personality Lena Gercke, is decidedly not. The spread was republished in Tunisian newspaper Attounissia, an...

Lapdogs And Luxury Boxes: A New-Look MSG Welcomes The Westminster Dog Show
James Dolan hates this dog....

Cristiano Ronaldo Seals Hat Trick With Sublime Strike
You are unlikely to see as perfect a soccer goal as this for a very, very long time. Cristiano Ronaldo, who's hoarding goals at such a clip it's as if he's trying to make every Spanish soccer fan forget the name Messi forever, finished a natural hat trick against Levante with this shot, his 119t...

Great Moments In NBC Programming Synthesis, Starring The Capitals' Jay Beagle
While we were deprived any beagles in last week's Puppy Bowl, NBC viewers were treated to two of them this afternoon. Returning from break late in Washington's game against the Rangers at Madison Square Garden, NBC dropped this quick promo for the Westminster Dog Show which gets underway tomorrow ...

Angelina From <em>Jersey Shore</em> Says Ahmad Bradshaw "Is A Hot Black"
It's that time of the week when Super Bowl analysis starts to devolve into silliness, isn't it? Thank the stars TMZ is there to counterbalance things with some serious, well-sourced reporting:...

Let Us Now Consider The Possibility That Madonna's Halftime Show Was A Satanic Ritual
Don't know where you fall on the whole "Music as Devil's Instrument" spectrum, but there is quite a bit to consider in the magnum "Satanic Ritual Performed at The NFL Half Time Show" post on "Consciousness TV."...

This Is The Weirdest Touchdown In Super Bowl History, And It Won The Game
"NO NO NO NO.. oh, shit, I scored a touchdown." Never has someone been so upset about a possibly-Super Bowl-winning score. [NBC] ...

You Never Wanted To See A Photo Of Chris Russo Shirtless, But Here It Is Anyway
Your morning roundup for Feb. 2, the day we learned Facebook is really, really, really profitable. Photo via Twitter. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Gayest (And Straightest) Super Bowl Halftime Shows
How shocking would it be if Madonna brought gay themes to the Super Bowl halftime show? Not very. Throughout its history, the halftime entertainment has meandered from straight to gay and back again. (Click here for my homemade infographic rating the halftime shows from straightest to gayest.)...

Homemade Infographic: What Were The Gayest (And Straightest) Super Bowl Halftime Shows?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Messi's Being Messi Again, And Dani Alves Has A Nuke-Powered Boot
Barcelona holds a 4-3 aggregate edge in the second half of their return trip to Real Madrid in the Copa del Rey, thanks to the illusionist Lionel Messi setting up Pedro for the initial score and then a blistering strike by Dani Alves off a free kick rebound. The goals set up a 4-1 aggregate edge ...