When last we heard from our favorite mohawked madman, Mario Balotelli, it right about this time last year as he came to the close of what turned out to be an unexpectedly impressive but still quintessentially Balotellian inaugural season with Nice in France. We are delighted to inform you that since then, Balotelli…
Mario Balotelli’s Nice hosted Paris Saint-Germain this weekend in what was a hugely important match in the Ligue 1 title race. Nice did what they’ve done all year and upset the odds by whooping up on PSG by a score of 3-1, and Balotelli scored a pretty goal to kick off the beatdown. By the end of the match, PSG were…
Mario Balotelli’s blistering start to his career in Nice has cooled off some of late. No doubt eager to get back to scoring ways, Balotelli tied his boots nice and tight before stepping out onto the field against Nantes this weekend. Only he soon realized he’d tied them too tight and had to get a coach to undo them…
Mario Balotelli is still thriving out in France, scoring eight goals in nine league appearances for out-of-nowhere Ligue 1 leaders Nice, so things aren’t all bad. What is maybe a little bad is that yesterday, for the first time this season, Good Mario gave way to Bad Mario, when the Italian striker was shown a…
Rejoice, soccer lovers, for the joy of Mario Balotelli scoring goals is once again a regular part of our lives. The on-fire Nice forward added another one today in the Europa League, cracking this ball with a little jump-slide shot and admiring it as it flies into the net from his backside:
Mario Balotelli has always been kind of a headcase. Of late, his nuttiness has unfortunately overshadowed his undeniable abilities. But now, after commemorating his second start with his new club Nice with his second two-goal match, it’s beginning to look like maybe Balo is more crazy good than just plain crazy.
The shirt colors look familiar but the team is different, and so are the country and the pressure and the expectations, and maybe even the player, too. Mario Balotelli is back on the soccer field for the first time in a long time, and he’s doing good things for the first time in even longer.
Mario Balotelli’s career may be in shambles, as one of the most talented young forwards in the world languishes alongside the teens that make up Liverpool’s reserve team as the club desperately searches for some sucker to offload him on, but hey, at least he still does funny things from time to time.
Like all lovers of joy, crude humor, and outrageous behavior, our hearts leap at the prospect of hearing new Mario Balotelli stories. This one, about Balo’s urinary humor, does not disappoint.
Mario Balotelli made his first Serie A start for AC Milan yesterday, and despite a questionable haircut—did he go to former Milan teammate Stephan El Shaarawy’s hairdresser and ask for the Vegeta?—he opened his team’s scoring with this absolutely perfect free kick:
Here are three things that have happened to exiled Liverpool and Italian national team striker Mario Balotelli in the last day or so:
Liverpool have pretty obviously been trying to offload the mercurial and misfiring Mario Balotelli for months now. And while we haven’t yet seen the kind of public outbursts we’re used to when Balo has previously overstayed his welcome, the Independent has a rundown of previously unreported incidents that have…
Liverpool were hosting Turkish side Beşiktaş in the European Soccer NIT today, and it was scoreless until Liverpool young cock Jordon Ibe was tripped up in the box in the 85th minute. Penalty! Captain-for-the-day Jordan Henderson picked up the ball and walked to the spot, which is when hero and burgeoning…
Once—and not even that long ago, if you'd believe—it was widely thought that Mario Balotelli was a good or great soccer player who, if nothing else, could be relied on to score some goals, sometimes. Then he was sold to Liverpool in August, and since, he's spent the last six months proving everyone wrong. UNTIL TODAY.
Most of the time, Mario Balotelli is really good at Instagram. Sometimes, though, he messes up. First, it was posting a dumb internet meme (that, to be fair, elicited an even dumber response by the braindead English FA). Now, we find him hitting on a couple 19-year-old Icelandic girls in their DMs.
Is it too soon to delete that other post? Because Mario Balotelli's Instagram is all you need to know about soccer.
Yoooooooooooooo.
The start of a soccer season, like the start of a school year, holds the promise of new adventures and fresh starts. Caught up in this spirit of growth and renewal, Mario Balotelli went to Instagram to drop some touching bits of wisdom on today's school children.
This may not be news to you, but Italian soccer star Mario Balotelli, who is the funnest, is back in England after being bought by Premier League side Liverpool from AC Milan. Since he'll ostensibly be sticking around for a little while, at least, he needs somewhere to live. This is the house he's rumored to have…
Oh my gosh!
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