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Today In Insane Sentences: Rex Ryan Tells Stephen A. Smith That Peyton Manning Won't Replace Mark Sanchez
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Coach stays positive on the Sanchize....

Mark Sanchez And Kate Upton Are Allegedly Humping
Mark Sanchez may have fumbled on Sunday, but he isn't fumbling in his personal life, reports the New York Post:...

Kelly Shoppach Returns, Casey McGehee Departs, And Nickelback Wins Again
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall.) This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

Kansas Has Hired Charlie Weis As Its Football Coach
And he's already the biggest thing to happen to Kansas football since Mark Mangino. [Topeka Capital-Journal]...

ESPN Keeps Trying To Pretend It Cared About The Bernie Fine Molestation Allegations All Along
ESPN's Mark Schwarz, the reporter who spent eight years not reporting the story that a Syracuse ballboy had accused assistant coach Bernie Fine of molesting him, has now taken his own turn in the spotlight on the ESPN Rationalization Tour by talking to Sports Illustrated's Richard Deitsch. As Deitsc...

NCAA Launches Investigation Into Penn State's "Institutional Control"
The NCAA today notified Penn State president Rodney Erickson that it is launching an investigation into the university's "exercise of institutional control over its intercollegiate athletics programs, as well as the actions, and inactions, of relevant responsible personnel."...

The NCAA's Accidentally Leaked Five Years Of Financial Statements (UPDATE)
UPDATE (12:45 p.m.): According to the NCAA, these financial documents have always been readily available online. The NCAA has even offered up a link to their most recent financials to prove that they're "not hiding any money." We're stil waiting for clarification from the NCAA on other documents fou...

I'm Pretty Sure David Brooks Just Blamed The Penn State Riots On Woodstock
We missed it over the weekend, but our man Pierce found this little turd of cultural intellection dropped by the Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy. Here's David Brooks responding to host David Gregory on Sunday's Meet the Press (if you're unfamiliar, Meet the Press used to be the Buffalo Bills pregame show). ...

And Then Al Michaels Said To Howard Cosell: "You're Drunk. You're Ruining The Fucking Telecast."
Howard Cosell, who died in 1995, ruled sports broadcasting from the 1960s until the 1980s. He commentated on Monday Night Football from its inception, called boxing's biggest fights, and popped up on Olympics and baseball telecasts, too. In his new book, Howard Cosell: The Man, the Myth, and the Tra...

The Dejected Faces Of Mark Sanchez
The great battle for AFC East supremacy last night turned into somewhat of a Patriots blowout and a game that was not all that much fun to watch. The one thing that did bring great joy was the body language of Mark Sanchez, whose moods ranged from misery to dejection to bike-pedaling, sisyphean ex...

Jets Owner Makes Shocking, Unprecedented, And Wrongheaded Claim About Jets Fans
Owner Woody Johnson tells Steve Serby, "Bring your passion to the game. The Jets fans are very intelligent, they're the smartest fans in the country, so they know how important it is." [NY Post]...

An Interview With The Radio Host Who Dropped That Jerry Sandusky Kiddie-Sex-Ring Rumor On Everybody
Mark Madden wanted to make one thing perfectly clear, right from the start....

Three Reasons To Be Skeptical Of The Sandusky Kiddie-Sex-Ring Rumor, And One Reason Not To Be
Earlier today, Pittsburgh radio show host Mark Madden went on WEEI in Boston and passed along something that's been dancing around the internet and flying into our inbox ever since. You can listen to the audio above, but the comment in question is right here:...

The Jets-Bills Game, In One Flinching Sanchez And One Steamrolled Bison
Mark Sanchez is not a wide receiver. He is a quarterback, a celebrity, a franchise, a patron of the arts, a deviant, and a pitchman, but he's not a wide receiver. So when he lined up wide in the wildcat (and as for why the Jets were running the wildcat up 16 with three minutes left, your guess is ...

Low-Budget Pitbull Imitator Produces Nauseating "Do The Mark Sanchez" Video
There aren't too many lyrics here, other than "do the Mark Sanchez," and "heart of a champion," so it's hard to dispute their words with statistical evidence. (Of note: the call-and-response here is "Who's number one?" "We number one!" But "we" could really be the Jets or the performers.) Mark San...

Mark Cuban's "Fuck You" Legal Brief Gives Him The Win In Ross Perot Jr. Lawsuit
Back in June we brought you the story of Mavericks minority owner Ross Perot Jr.'s lawsuit against Mark Cuban, accusing Cubes of "mismanaging" the team. Cuban's legal team response was simple yet elegant: a photo of the Mavericks celebrating their NBA title....

Mark Brunell Is Broke
How did Brunell, with 18 NFL seasons under his belt and more than $50 million in earnings, find himself with comically turned inside-out pocket? Pretty much the same way all broke professional athletes lose their money: a series of bad investments, including a failed Whataburger franchise....

This Evening: Mark Cuban On Karaoke, Singing "Purple Rain"
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 25, the day we learned how to bullshit our way through anything. H/T to Adam for video of Cuban singing, which can also be seen at Sweater Punch. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

A Provocation: My Al Davis Story
The following is republished with permission from the author's blog, Bluenatic.com....

People Are Getting Dumber By The Day About The Harbaugh-Schwartz Fight
It must be a slowass week in the NFL, because people are still being idiots about the dustup between Jim Schwartz and Jim Harbaugh. Hey Mark Schlereth, can I count on you for saying something delightfully cliched and stupid?...