matt Page 101 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: The Year Of The "Year Of The Pitcher" Stories
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all those people writing all those "year of the pitcher" stories, for whom Matt Garza's no-hitter provided more anecdotal evidence of a trend that probably doesn't exist....

On The Other Side Of A No-No, Tigers Learn How To Pick Their Battles
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Here's a Picture of Matt Kemp Putting on a Sequined Glove
Here are a couple questions about the Dodgers' 80s Night Promotion (for which Rihanna's boyfriend is posing in the above photo):...

Dodgers Lose Another One, This Time To The Rulebook
We love it when a manager uses the rulebook to his advantage. Bruce Bochy caught acting Dodgers manager Don Mattingly inadvertently stepping off the mound during the visit to his pitcher, and the resulting nitpick gave the Giants a victory....

Surveying The Wreckage Of The Matt Millen Era
Today, the Lions released Daniel Bullocks, the last player remaining from a 5-year stretch of drafts. That's 0-for-40. Here's what became of them all, and I warn you, it's not pretty....

HEAVENS TO BETSY: LEBRON TO MATTOON, SAYS...STONED LOCAL
"@DEADSPIN Librarian sez WE'RE GONNA NEED SOME MORE ROLLOUT BLEACHERS!" [@williamfleitch]...

Clay Matthews Not A Fan Of "Clay Mathews"
Clay with two Ts gets disrespected by the sign makers at his own charity golf tournament. Thankfully, water slides solve everything. [Twitter]...

Dan Patrick's Garish Yellow Man Purse Spotted At DMB Show (UPDATE)
One reader caught the Dave Matthews (Band) show at Hartford on Saturday night and had the good fortune of sitting near Patrick and his family, bobbing along to "Ants Marching" and the like. But, seriously, what's with the bag?...

Matt Barnes Tells All The Hos And Tricks What Is What
Matt Barnes got a little angry about...something and decided to take it out on his Twitter followers and anyone who is a fan of spelling and grammar. [JamesPoling.com]...

Pukey Phillies Fan Cops A Plea; His Crazy Uncle Weighs In
Matthew Clemmens pleaded guilty today to assault; he's expected to receive probation. But the real news is that we heard back from his conspiracy theorist uncle!...

White Chocolate Would Really Prefer You Not Violate His Private Space, Mr. Reporter
The frustration of the Magic's poor showing thus far in the conference finals has reached its boiling point. Watch as Jason Williams swears a blue steak at a reporter, and Matt Barnes cannot help but laugh. H/T Jovan....

LT's Weight Loss Spokesman Replacement Has A Little Less Star Power
Lawrence Taylor is accused of doing some Very Bad Things. That means he's not allowed to tell us how he lost 35 pounds (results not typical) on Nutrisystem. Now pinch hitting: Matt Stairs....

Padres Prospects Display Plus-Plus Nerf-Hoops Acumen
H/T Theodore Donald Kerabatsos for the link and Matt for the embed code....

Vomiting Phillies Fan's Uncle Would Like Us To Do...Something
Ever since we've started covering the story of Matthew Clemmens, best known for allegedly vomiting on an 11-year old girl, and rocking "Material Girl" at karaoke, his uncle has been pestering us about...well, we're not really sure what he wants....

Matt Millen Apologizes
Matt Millen Apologizes To The Polacks [Tirico Suave]...

Matt Millen Apologizes For Calling Ron Jaworski A "Polack"
In cased you missed it, yesterday Millen was on-air discussing fried bologna sandwiches with Buffalo native Ron Jaworski and said "ask any Polack from Buffalo how they like them, right Jaws?"...

<em>Newsday</em> Sports Section Adopts Strict Policy Of Blowing Sunshine Up Your Ass
Newsday, a collection of tire ads that old people leave lying around diners in Farmingdale, is cracking down on any use of sarcasm or name-calling or "negative characterization" in its corpse of a sports section. To which I say: Brilliant idea, assholes!...

Family Rushes To Vomiting Fan's Defense In Eminently Quotable Fashion
Now I'm no Perry Mason, but I'd say that if your defense rests in part on there being a distinction between a right person and a wrong person on whom to ralph, your case is lost already....

Apropos Of Nothing, Here's Phillies Vomit Kid Doing Madonna Karaoke
Mean-spirited? Yeah, a little. Only tangentially related to sports? Sure. But fuck it. Here's Matthew Clemmens (stage name: Pukemon) with "Material Girl."...

Here's Matt Cooke Getting His
The noted cheap shot artist gets knocked out with one punch, and Evander Kane never has to buy a drink in Boston ever again....