mb Page 257 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Can't Stop Thinking About Jim Nantz Calling Tom Brady "Mr. Cool"
Jim Nantz is too fundamentally bland as a human for a conflict of interest to be concerning, but what fresh hell was this? During Sunday’s Patriots-Steelers game, the CBS broadcaster betrayed his WASPy exterior with an ejaculated moment of unrestrained happiness for his good chum Tom Brady. “Mr. Coo...
Taj Gibson's Loose Shoe Temporarily Becomes Important Defensive Weapon
Taj Gibson lost his shoe on a post move early in the first quarter of tonight’s Kings-Timberwolves game. His shoeless layup went down, which is cool enough, but play did not stop, and so Gibson was forced to hoof it down to the defensive end in a sock, holding his shoe in his right hand....
American Soccer Is Fine
Zack Steffen, an American soccer player who currently plies his trade on U.S. soil, is set to join the English Premier League’s reigning champions. The Columbus Crew have announced that the MLS Goalkeeper of the Year will be moved to Manchester City Football Club next summer for an undisclosed trans...
Audacious Clown Tries To Win Back $100 In Daily Fantasy Losses, By Going To Court Twice
On April 1, 2016, Colin Dew-Becker joined degenerates nationwide in a nightly ritual: blowing money on daily fantasy sports. He lost $100 on a wager, plus $9 in fees, in an NBA head-to-head contest on FanDuel. In point of fact, Dew-Becker was positively smoked, losing by a score of 221.1 points to 9...
Hmm, The Patriots Are Supposed To Be Scary In December
There was no Jesse James horror play this time around for the Steelers. Although Tom Brady did make all of Pittsburgh nervous with a methodical and eerily familiar fourth-quarter drive, it was hindered by a holding penalty and ended with a turnover on downs. The Steelers maintain their slim lead in...
The Baseball Hall Of Fame Is Now In The Remembering Some Guys Business
Beyond the obvious broad comedy inherent in the words fuming baseball purists, one of the more amusing aspects of Harold Baines’s otherwise inexplicable selection to the Baseball Hall of Fame this week has been the sheer volume of discourse devoted to Harold Fucking Baines across various platforms. ...
I Don't Think Stephen A. Smith Watches Much Football
On this morning’s First Take, an ESPN show for people who really should have slept in, Stephen A. Smith broke down tonight’s Chargers-Chiefs throwdown by reminding us to keep an eye on Spencer Ware (out with a foot injury), Hunter Henry (out since May with a torn ACL), and Derrick Johnson (no longer...
Jimmy Butler: I Pooped On My Timberwolves Teammates Even Worse Than You Thought
New 76er and true cheesebutt Jimmy Butler appeared on teammate JJ Redick’s podcast this week, where he discussed, among other things, the circumstances of his exit from the Timberwolves. That’s a terribly cursed sentence, given what it describes, but these are two provolone-ass individuals, before w...
Ousmane Dembélé Clowns Two Tottenham Defenders And Dunks The Ball Into The Net
Ousmane Dembélé just gave Barcelona the lead against Tottenham in the Champions League by flying past defender Kyle Walker-Peters with an absolutely insulting big touch and then sitting midfielder Harry Winks on his ass with his trademark fake shot before slamming the ball past goalkeeper Hugo Llori...
Despised Coach Of Chicago Bulls, On Task Force Designed To Mitigate His Failings: "I'm Jacked Up"
It’s been just eight days since Fred Hoiberg got canned, opening up the Bulls head coach vacancy that was then filled by Jim Boylen. The speed with which the shit has leapt towards the fan strains credulity. But since the Bulls found themselves stuck under the thumb of this retrograde strongman, the...
Joel Embiid, Who Has A Migraine And Diarrhea: “I Have A Migraine<em></em> And Diarrhea”
Joel Embiid is dealing with a few ailments....
Bulls Rudely Mocked For Jim Boylen's Practice Schedule Following Another Ugly Loss
Fresh off an air-clearing series of meetings having to do with interim head coach Jim Boylen being an overbearing dickweed, the lowly Bulls took the floor Monday night looking to reverse course after a historic beatdown. Their opponent, the Kings, is another team that was supposed to spend this seas...
Report: Obnoxious Hardman Jim Boylen Nearly Drove The Bulls To Mutiny In Less Than A Week
It’s been one week since the Bulls fired head coach Fred Hoiberg after a 5-19 start to the season. The team was handed over to assistant coach Jim Boylen, who was left with the task of jumpstarting a young and relatively talented but extremely listless squad. Here’s how that’s going so far: Boylen g...
Atlanta United's MLS Cup Victory Ends Michael Parkhurst's Agonizing Championship Drought
The city of Atlanta has a championship for the first time since 1995 thanks to the efforts of second-year MLS franchise Atlanta United. In front of an MLS Cup-record crowd of 73,019, United defeated the Portland Timbers 2-0 to bring their immaculate sophomore season to a close. ...
We Regret To Inform You That Jimmy Butler's Presence Has Frustrated Another Young Center
Something’s eating Joel Embiid. The 76ers center has seen a recent dip in form, with a string of mediocre performances that are a far cry from the MVP-like numbers he was putting up towards the beginning of the season. Over his last three games, he’s shot just 14-for-42 (1-for-9 from three), with hi...
The Unfortunately Named Russian Martial Art Sambo Would Make For A Kickass Olympic Sport<em></em>
The International Olympic Committee announced today that sambo was among the sports whose international governing bodies achieved temporary IOC recognition, a move that brings the regrettably named combat sport one step closer to eventual Olympic status. While fellow Olympic hopefuls like kickboxing...
Akron And South Carolina Will Play The Most Meaningless Game Of The College Football Season
On Wednesday, the University of South Carolina was compelled to issue a clarification regarding the tickets it was planning to give away for this Saturday’s home game against Akron at Williams-Brice Stadium. Yes, the upper level tickets were indeed free as reported but no, and this part was importan...
So, Andrew Wiggins Is Doing Great
Okay, so, the following otherwise delightful tweet, by Carter Rodriguez of SB Nation’s Fear the Sword blog, isn’t quite right....
Here's A Fair Way To Pay College Athletes For Their Labor
At the end of October, federal prosecutors succeeded in proving something that every college sports fan alive already knew. With the help of FBI wiretaps, defendants Jim Gatto, Merl Code, and Christian Dawkins were found guilty in federal court of wire fraud and conspiracy to commit wire fraud. The...
Literal Baby-Name Police Won't Let French Couple Name Their Kid "Griezmann Mbappé"
International tournament success in sports famously breeds joy, babies, and joyfully birthed babies named after the sporting heroes who achieved said success. It’s no surprise, then, that one French couple wanted to name their newborn son after two stars from France’s World Cup victory this summer. ...