mb Page 425 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Delaware Still Not As Fun As Las Vegas
Delaware's governor says he will keep fighting to make sports betting legal, even after his wagering bill lost in the state legislature by two votes. I had +3.5, so at least they covered. [Star-Ledger]...

Here's Your General Housekeeping DUAN (N)
Some things of varying importance that need to be addressed. So DUAN seems the most appropriate post to do so since I've already lost your attention until tomorrow morning. It's time to purge....

Carlos Zambrano Needs A Timeout
The Big Z is going on the 15-day DL with a bad hamstring. Should Cubs fans panic? Should they start beheading farm animals? Or get drunk and embrace the Jeff Samardzija Era. [Sun-Times]...

Joba Chamberlain's Mother Still Has Some Problems
The mother of the Yankees' hurler was arrested for dealing meth to an undercover officer. This is written by the same newspaper that did the long-ish profile on her last fall. [Lincoln Star Journal]...

Tom Brady Must Be Thrilled
Hey, it's his new bride being groped by nude, muscular black men! [Arab Aquarius]...

Samuel Dalembert Loves, Loses
The Sixers were getting pounded by a Dwight Howard-less Magic team last night when Samuel Dalembert decided that an out-of-reach game would be a good time to get more intimate with Hedo Turkoglu....

This Is Not Alexander Ovechkin's Strip Club Receipt
Like any young rich athlete, Alex Ovechkin likes to have a good time, but there are probably enough actual crazy stories about him out there that people don't need to be making them up....

Fine: There Is No Greater Bond Between Father And Son Hockey Fans Than Celebratory Fellatio
That headline is going to be a Google goldmine. [YouTube]...

Minus The Beard, His 40 Time Would Have Been Much Faster
Seriously. You should read Clay Travis' combine draft novella that Fanhouse has been serializing. [Fanhouse]...

More Bad News For Lenny Dykstra
"Nails On The Numbers" has been eliminated from The Street.com. [Daily Options Report]...

Big Papi Fires Warning Shot Over Joba's Bow
Their series doesn't begin until tomorrow, but David Ortiz thought he'd get in a preemptive strike today against Joba Chamberlain and the Yankees. Hey Joba, please don't throw at our noggins....

Crack The F—king Skye. Your 2009 NFL Draft Jamboroo
The NFL Draft is this weekend, so time for a special offseason edition of Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo. Enjoy....

But Who Could Possibly Sex Mutombo With A Bad Knee?
After last night's knee injury, Dikembe Mutombo says his career of shot-blocking and finger-wagging has come to a close:" For me, basketball is over," he said. One of the NBA's nicest guys. [SI]...

Columbus Will Never Forget Its First Time
Down 0-2 to Detroit, the Blue Jackets host their first-ever home playoff game tonight and Puck Daddy has a tribute to other playoff virgins. Confused Buckeye fans are unsure what to burn. [Puck Daddy]...

University of Miami Students Bristle Over No. 1 Party School Ranking
''I've been to the University of Michigan and that UM is crazy...[W]e rarely have parties on campus. We just go to ones that are more exclusive.'' [Miami Herald]...

Jason Giambi Grows Up. Sort Of.
Jason Giambi's recent interview with GQ shows that even though he's now 38-years-old, he's still the same freewheeling maniac that you'd want to host your bachelor party....

The Continuing Sports Media Evolution Of Condi Rice
According to sources at HBO, at a production meeting last week, staffers were informed that former Sec. Of State Condoleezza Rice's agent had inquired about her joining Bryant Gumbel's "Real Sports" reporting team....

You Should Wikipedia Kevin Garnett Sometime, He's A Fascinating Fellow
I actually did know who Kevin Garnett was before today. In fact, we talked one time. It was a conference call though, lacking in intimacy. Those were the days before you could Wikipedia helpful icebreakers....

Allen Iverson's Money Is No Longer Good Here
The Answer has been banned from two different Detroit casinos, because of his "boorish" behavior. Considering how bad he is at gambling, we must be talking about some serious boor activity. [Detroit News]...

Women, Children Frightened By Giant Hamburger
The official unveiling of the West Michigan Whitecaps' immense 5,000-calorie Fifth Third Burger on Thursday stirred up a variety of emotions, but the following quote is by far my favorite:...