mb Page 432 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Carlos Zambrano Mows Your Hitters Down
A game that was merely a whisper this morning has turned into a primal scream from the massive Cubs ace, Carlos Zambrano. Awash in a sea of Cubs blue at Miller Park in Milwaukee, Zambrano roared back tonight from a forced vacation due to rotator cuff soreness and an August well under his best to sec...

Jason Collins And The Golf Cart Of Doom
At least Timberwolves fans have great memories from the 2007-2008 season when their all-time greatest player won an NBA Championship in his first season with another team. Now their center can't avoid injury while driving around a golf course. Per the Minneapolis Star-Tribune: "Collins was injured ...

I Don't Care What They Say I Can't Stay In A World Without Tom ... Or Can I?
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...

Cheering For Injuries Is Good For America! Jamboroo, Week 2
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. As...

Athlete Impersonations Reach a New Low: New York Man Claims to be Kenny Anderson
Michael Anderson has an awful lot of confidence in the basketball knowledge of Long Beach, New York residents to claim that he's Kenny Anderson and expect it to get him somewhere. I can't wait until ten years from now when Floyd Mayweather, Jr. gets arrested for impersonating Floyd Mayweather, Jr. ...

Simmons Finally Chimes In, Bravely Faces Lost Season And A Year Without Brady
Bill Simmons finally went to the acceptance stage of mourning and has returned with a column (or mailbag, actually) about the stages of Tomlessness that he and all of the other charmed Boston sports fans face the rest of the NFL season. Needless to say, he doesn't have a sunny outlook: ...

Tom Brady Out For Season: Knee A Mangled Mess
Bill Belichick is holding his day after press conference right now, grumbling his way through the news that his star quarterback is gone for the season. In actuality, Belichick is acting just like he would had Brady been given a clean bill of health, or any good news, for that matter. He's stoic. He...

Bernard Pollard: New England Dream-Destroyer; Provocative Locker Room Dance Enthusiast
Bernard Pollard is not a well-liked man in New England and by crestfallen fantasy owners all across the country who watched their seasons disintegrate in an instant. (Darren Rovell says the Brady effect on Fantasy Football will cost some owners $150 million. Really. ) Pollard insists the left knee-...

Tom Brady Doesn't Live Here Anymore
Forget for a moment how the Patriots are going to cope without Tom Brady this season; how is the league itself going to survive? The facts are these: We awaken on Monday morning to a world in which Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are irrelevant, and Brett Favre and Kurt Warner are dancing about celebra...

Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee
As the world holds its collective breath awaiting official word on Tom Brady's knee injury, bloggers are working through their apprehension and grief the only way they know how; with wild, panicky speculation. Here's a sampling ... • A Letter From God Addressed To New England Patriot Fans. Let's fac...

Tom Brady Possibly Done For The Season
Yahoo! Sports' Michael Silver is reporting that Tom Brady might be out for the year with ligament damage to his knee. ...

Will The Real Joba Please Stand Up?
In a move that soils the impeccable reputation of the Jersey shore, 29-year old Ryan Ward was caught using his physical resemblance to Joba Chamberlain to get girls into bed. ...

Naked Women Go Pro in the Lingerie Football League
The Super Bowl halftime gimmick, the Lingerie Bowl, has taken on shapely legs of its own. The Lingerie Football League (LFL) will launch in 2009 with franchises in major cities. According to the league's site, it's "the real fantasy football". I guess there is something for everyone; sexy women tack...

Even Bathroom Doors Hate the Yankees This Year
When things aren't going well for your team there is no end to the obstacles confronting them. Every day you get online and a new disaster has occurred. Even when you can't see them coming. Such as this story. Jason Giambi split his eyelid walking into the bathroom door of his hotel. Giambi told th...

The Dickpire Strikes Back: The Return Of Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. Ev...

Tatum Bell Declares Innocence While Suspiciously Wearing Rudi Johnson's Underwear
Yep, this is EXACTLY what the Lions needed. Our story so far: Rudi Johnson arrived at Lions headquarters on Monday to make a deal to become their backup running back, when his two large Gucci dufflebags were stolen from outside of CEO Matt Millen's office. Video surveillance cameras revealed that it...

No Way Will The Cubs Blow It This Time ... Uh Oh
Time to worry: When your team has lost four straight at home during the stretch run of the division race. Time to really worry: When your manager says "If he can pitch, he'll pitch. If he can't, we'll put Sean Marshall in the rotation." Those words of wisdom were spoken by Lou Piniella, after Carlos...

Note To Self: Do Not Let Tatum Bell Check My Luggage
Running back Rudi Johnson had no sooner arrived in Detroit on Monday than he lost his luggage; not at the airport like God intended, but outside of CEO Matt Millen's office in the Detroit Lions locker room. While Johnson was in Millen's office working out details of a one-year deal with the team, he...

Bringing Democracy to the World of Combudsmanning
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, Commenting Guru Rob Iracane will write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week. Mr. Iracane, co-proprietor of the brilliant Walkoff Walk , is also the guy who approves comments ...

Tom Brady's E: Meet Will McDonough
In a really fascinating article and very well written piece, Brady's E, Will McDonough, is credited with the quarterback's rise from awkward media interviewee to a stylish, model-dating, European-vacationing metrosexual. Depending on your particular persuasion this either makes McDonough the anti-c...