mb Page 436 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tom Brady Has A Wonder Woman Fetish
So Tom Brady wants his girlfriend to dress up as Wonder Woman? Who doesn't? Just be thankful he didn't say Aqua Boy. According to a gossip column in the Boston Globe, Gisele Bundchen revealed that Brady has a bit of a Wonder Woman fixation. Translation: If someone is thinking of making a Wonder Woma...

Pizza Madness Grips Ohio
OK, it wasn't quite THAT bad. But Papa John's 23-cent pizza promotion in Northeast Ohio on Thursday did draw enormous crowds, and wasn't completely peaceful. Aside from some stores running out of pizzas, there were shoving matches and verbal altercations as people waited in line for discount pies fo...

Gamecock And Blowie, Together At Last
Of course you all know the University of South Carolina Gamecock, pictured at left. But you may not be familiar with Blowie, the mascot of the Columbia Blowfish of the Coastal Plain League (the only costumed mascot who is deadly poisonous if not properly cooked). I'm not sure of the circumstances w...

Newcastle Owner Now Slightly Richer
Newcastle have been on quite a run as of late, and Mike Ashley is taking full advantage. The club's billionaire owner recently strolled into his local casino (note to self: move to England) and had a seat at the roulette wheel, the greatest table game of them all. Ashley decided to make the boldest ...

War Emblem Isn't Interested In Breeding; Not That There's Anything Wrong With That
You've probably seen this by now, but, alas, it's still great. War Emblem is tired of the dating scene. Take this farm, for instance; everyone here is such a phony. He'd rather stay in his stall and curl up with a nice Dee Mirich poem, if you want to know the truth. The race horse, who won the Kentu...

About Last Night
What you missed while being violated by a marsupial ... • NBA: Celtics downgrade emergency to Defcon 5, head to Atlanta with 3-2 series lead. • NHL: Flyers avenge Rocky statue desecration, take 3-1 series lead on Montreal. • MLB: Santana dominates — no, the other one — as Angels beat Athletics to fi...

Ability To Embed Images In Comments Portends Apocalypse
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane, co-editor of Walk Off Walk, to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....

March Of The Penguins
Perhaps next time Jaromir Jagr should Czech his trash talking at the door (PUNTASTIC BURN!!!!) as the not quite Mario Lemieux-level Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin helped to erase a 3-0 Rangers lead to give the Pens a 1-0 series advantage. Jagr had a chance to tie in the waning moments, but clanged ...

Tom Brady Is Out Of The Closet And Bent On Murder
Anyone watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? Apparently Tuesday's episode involved a thinly disguised version of Tom Brady, who was a gay quarterback implicated in a murder. Sample dialogue: "Lincoln Haver is gay? I thought he was dating Natasha Gorski, that hot supermodel." "You can't blame Linc...

Joba Chamberlain Makes Clumsy Pass At Erin Andrews, Becomes Mortal (WITH UPDATE)
Actually I have no idea what the Yankees' Joba Chamberlain said to Erin Andrews at the conclusion of their interview on Wednesday, but whatever it was, Andrews was obviously repulsed. You can check out the video here and judge for yourself. Man, it looks like she just ate a bug. So then can it just ...

If You Don't Like The NFL Draft, You Can Suck It: Your NFL Draft Jamboroo
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo has been off since the end of the NFL season. But now, with Saturday's NFL draft looming, it returns, for one week only....

Timberwolves Double Down On The Lottery
When you're the Minnesota Timberwolves, you have to lure in season ticket buyers by any means necessary. So they've come up with quite the novel plan: They're tying ticket prices to which lottery pick the team gets....

Rejected Commenter Theater 3: The Rejeckoning
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane, co-editor of Walk Off Walk, to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....

Dana White Says Kimbo/Liddell Fight Not Out Of The Realm Of Possibility
Last week,the UFC's mohawked maniac Chuck Liddell downplayed the success and viability of YouTube fighting phenom (and now EliteXC) figher Kimbo Slice, saying that the backyard brawler would get rocked in Mixed Martial Arts. Similar things have been said of Kimbo before, by plenty of other longtime ...

The Best Knockouts of Friday Night Fights
3. I would recommend staying on the ground for a while....

Bryant Mercifully Leaves the Booth
Bryant Gumbel does excellent work for HBO Sports, but as a play-by-play announcer for the NFL Network he was terrible. Fortunately both parties came to terms with that fact, and we will no longer be subjected to any of his two-minute "mournings" or legendarily indecisive first down calls. Awful Anno...

Alex Smith Is A Little Looser When South Of The Border
Didn't Alex Smith attend college in Utah, where drunkenly attempting to eat girls' faces is prohibited? (unless they're one of your wives, that is). Hey, who cares! We're in Mexico! Finally, my frequent visits to 49ersnews pay off....

Eli Manning's Reach-Around Courtesy Is Impressive
Yeah, that episode may not get by network censors....

Stuart Scott Obviously Feels Better
Wow, that "ESPN the Weekend" sure looks like it was fun. Here's Stuart Scott getting all Chuck D on the karaoke mic with proper S1W accompaniment by Charles Barkley playing the role of Flavor Flav and, hmm, Mr. Belding from "Saved By The Bell" obviously filling Professor Griff's giant shoes....

We Are (Mostly) Made of Stars
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane, co-editor of Walk Off Walk, to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....