media Page 143 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Note To ESPN: There Is A Significant Difference Between An "Elephant Keeper" And An "Elephant Walker"
Tony La Russa is making the post-retirement media tour, and on Monday he stopped by Late Show with David Letterman, during which he revealed a Sacramento-area animal rescue group had offered him a position as elephant keeper....

How Contempt For Tim Tebow Caused An ESPN.com Commenter Revolution
The ESPN.com comment section is a den of iniquity and misspelling, and for the world's largest sports site, it's curiously inessential. The open registration means the discourse tends toward lowest common denominator, and it's too big to engender much sense of community. But once in a long while the...

BREAKING: ESPN's Jenn Brown Is Locked Inside A Hotel Bathroom And Is Live-Tweeting About It (UPDATED)
It's been more than 30 minutes since she called for help. We'll keep you posted. [@JennBrownESPN]...

Canadian Sportscaster Does Entire Report In Two-Face Costume
Nothing says legitimate newsgathering operation like anchors in costume, and here's CHEX-TV (Peterborough, Ontario) sports anchor Tyler Calver dressed as Batman villain Two-Face, though I'd like to think he's dressed as ESPN's conflicting business and editorial responsibilities....

This Evening: On <em>Around The Horny</em>, Tony Reali Wonders Which "College Undies Will Go Down This Weekend"
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 28, the day we figured out how to just vanish. H/T to TylerRio for the Reali video. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Mizzou Will Join The SEC On Monday, According To SEC's Premature, Accidental Announcement
Missouri became will become the 14th member of the Southeastern Conference (SEC), according to an announcement posted from the future on the conference's website last night that was almost immediately removed....

The Longhorn Network Launched Two Months Ago, And Still Nobody Can Watch It (Also, They Had An Anchor DWI)
It was two months ago today that we ran a sky-is-falling story on ESPN's Longhorn Network going live without having lined up cable companies to actually broadcast the channel. We thought that was just last-minute posturing and ESPN's muscle would get the deals done before long. But here we are, half...

Nobody Came To T.O.'s Workout Except NFL Network, Who Spent An Hour Talking About Shirts
Terrell Owens is attempting a quick comeback from his rumored April surgery to repair a torn ACL, but his workout show Tuesday played to an empty crowd. That didn't keep NFL Network—led by Andrew Siciliano, Charles Davis, and Lindsay Soto—from dedicating a full hour to coverage, which proved to be...

Sean McDonough On Oliver Luck: "What An Idiot"
This happened Saturday night during a commercial break in Stanford's blowout win over Washington, which was broadcast on ABC/ESPN. McDonough, the play-by-play man, is a Syracuse grad, and Syracuse had beaten the shit out of West Virginia the night before. Just as the cameras found Oliver Luck in t...

Seven-Time Ohio Columnist Of The Year Wonders If Maybe Students Didn't Enjoy Being Sexed By Their Teacher
Paul Daugherty, in addition to having a regular gig on SI.com, has been a sports columnist at the Cincinnati Enquirer for a long, long time. So long that they've given him a daily "write about whatever shit you want to" column, which appears to run with minimal editing....

The Sunday Night Football Crew Still Really Likes Talking About Peyton Manning
Because it's too early for flex scheduling to kick in, America was forced to endure yet another nationally televised game involving the Curtis Painter-led Colts....

Darrelle Revis And His PR Handler Hung Up On A Trolling Mike Francesa Today (UPDATE)
WFAN/YES Network host Mike Francesa is a special combination of windbag and gadfly. He's the self-appointed expert on all matters of New York sports, even though he doesn't know much about them. And he loves picking on angry, frothing Jets fans for their loud coach and on-field antics, despite the...

Lazy Hack Philly Newspaper Writer Being Investigated For Doing Cut-And-Paste Job On Blogger's Report
Well, now, this is a delightful twist on that old saw that bloggers do nothing but rewrite all the hard work that gets done by newspaper reporters out there in the field. Click the above image, which was sent to us by Ballin' Is A Habit, to enlarge it. What you'll see is a side-by-side comparison t...

People Are Getting Dumber By The Day About The Harbaugh-Schwartz Fight
It must be a slowass week in the NFL, because people are still being idiots about the dustup between Jim Schwartz and Jim Harbaugh. Hey Mark Schlereth, can I count on you for saying something delightfully cliched and stupid?...

Dan Snyder Does An Interview! (For His Own TV Show. With A Fifth Grader.)
The last time Dan Snyder subjected himself to the terrifying bright lights of a studio interview, it was June, and it was bullshit. Back then, he went on the D.C. affiliates of FOX and NBC and agreed to pretend that his flack, Tony Wyllie, hadn't planted every single question. It was so scripted t...

Signs You're Old: <i>Pardon The Interruption</i> Has Been On The Air For 10 Years
It was 10 years ago tomorrow that PTI premiered, and ESPN has made available some clips from that inaugural show, including Brent Musberger on the BCS and time capsule headlines like "Are the Islanders for real?" That it's still going strong is a testament to the fact that ESPN can often get thing...

Idiot Utah Sports Columnist More Or Less Calls Amar'e Stoudemire A Dumb Negro
Doug Robinson, the resident paste-eating troglodyte at the Deseret News, has gone and written a truly remarkable column this week....

Progress! Rick Reilly Is Now Ripping Off Writers Who Are Not Rick Reilly
"The Heart Of Football Beats In Aliquippa," by S.L. Price, Sports Illustrated, Jan. 31, 2011. "Aliquippa's Silver Lining," by Rick Reilly, ESPN.com, Oct. 17, 2011....

A List Of Places Where Brett Favre Is Also Not Going, Yet
There is a special moment in the news cycle during which outlets report on things that are not happening, but that maybe could happen, but that also could not not happen because it would be so interesting if they did happen. Do you follow?...

Ozzie Guillen Will Appear On <em>Baseball Tonight</em> Throughout The World Series
It dawns on me that we could play a game with two tentpoles of recent Chicago White Sox squads. We'll call the game "Guillen OR Pierzynski." Said the White Sox drink rally beer during games to get themselves going? (Pierzynski.) Went on a profane tirade after the White Sox lost to Bruce fucking Chen...