mel Page 249 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who's The Next Person To Get Banned From Monday Night Football
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Jimmy Kimmel Doesn't See What All The Fuss Is About
After his appearance on "Monday Night Football" earlier this week, Jimmy Kimmel has been banned from the program. This is supposed to be a punishment?...
MNF Still Haunts Joe Theismann's Corpse
Kimmel's quote: "And we welcome Joe Theismann watching from his living room with steam coming out of his ears." You know, we wouldn't mind seeing that, actually....
Rage Against The Machine
This happened a while ago, but hey, whaddya gonna do? Stationary bikes, meant to bring mankind together through the shared experience of pointless effort, have instead become instruments of violence and wanton destruction. Let the record show that the first recorded incident of "spin rage" occurred ...
More Late Game Bukkake
San Diego 14, Chicago 3 LaDainian Tomlinson made up for a fallow first half with a flush fantasy second, throwing for one touchdown and rushing for another, but still managing only 25 yards on 17 carries. Tommy Harris can jump offsides all he damn pleases, it's still not making up for a parlous Bear...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while shooing away the cat ... • MLB: Philadelphia at Chicago Cubs. We welcome our new Cub overlords. [ESPN] • MLB: Baseball Hall of Fame Induction from Cooperstown. Relive the glory of Tony Gwynn saying "passion for the game" 114 times. [ESPN2] • World Combat League: Oklahoma at Dalla...
What ESPN DOESN'T WANT YOU TO HEAR!
We still haven't watched the ESPYs from Sunday night, because, we dunno, it's the summer, and sometimes we like to pretend that the sun actually exists and will welcome us. From most accounts, though, the show was as tolerable as one could have hoped. We have no major issue with Jimmy Kimmel — not a...
A-Rod Scores Them In Bunches
The guy who provided this here site with The Tip That Shook The Nation — involving Chris Berman and a certain leather-clad female — of course earned a place in our our mythical Tipster Hall of Fame. And in our hearts. But he's slipping, unfortunately. His once great fastball is now merely a languid ...
What Will Be Cut From This Year's ESPY Awards?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Mel Hall Is Not A Nice Man
If you're like us, you've always wondered: Whatever happened to Mel Hall? (This is why you are fortunately not like us.) The thoroughly average '80s-early '90s outfielder plays stumbled along for the Cubs and Indians before playing on some truly wretched Yankees teams. Plucky fellow. Hope matters tu...
Chris Berman Wants The Kids To Learn From The Master
A reader, whom we suspect represents a large swath of the Deadspin demographic, wrote us this morning:...
Extending Some Helping Feet (A Lot Of Them)
Tuesday night, in a "Peace Match," Real Madrid traveled to Israel to play an exhibition match — a "friendly," if you will — against a team made of Israelites and Palestinians. A worthy, vastly important cause, one that speaks to the notion of soccer as a grand uniting game. Thirty thousand fans show...
Robots Ride Camels Better Than Children
Like you, we are aware of the upcoming robot apocalypse. Our human emotion is our primary weakness and will lead to our ultimate downfall....
Elijah Dukes Is On The Air
We hope you weren't trying to get through to WDAE Radio on Tuesday, as various members of the Dukes family had the phone lines jammed pretty much all day. We hate when that happens. Tuesday was Fun Day for Ron Diaz and Ian Beckles over at the Ft. Lauderdale station, as an agitated Elijah Dukes calle...
Real Jews Root For The Red Sox
Via Bar Stool Sports — and we're slightly late on this — we learn that American Jewish Life Magazine (not edited by David Hirshey) makes the solid case that all Jews should love the Red Sox and hate the Yankees....
Ichiro Does Not Think Cleveland Rocks
If it's Monday, it must be time for Ichiro Suzuki Quote Theater. This week's entry concerns the Mariners' makeup game in Cleveland, and Ichiro's clear desire not to be there....
Carmelo Anthony Should Live Rather Comfortably
Over the weekend, The Rocky Mountain News told the tale of Carmelo Anthony's new pad in suburban Denver. (Via Slushy Gutter.) The place originally was listed at $17 million, but its price was "slashed" to a far more modest $11.95 million. Some great factoids:...
May Stuart Scott Leave Your Mother The Hell Alone This Evening
Mother's Day will soon have come and gone, but there's still time to relive one of the all-time greatest mother moments in sports history. Carmelo Anthony's mother, overcome with emotion, beaming with pride as her son lives his proudest moment ... and Stuart Scott antagonizing her with a microphone....